Wednesday, February 21, 2018

How Spanking Saved Our Marriage

I've had a lot of people ask why it's important to have consistent discipline.  For a while my husband and I stopped, well, we didn't really stop,we just didn't have time and our marriage came apart.  I resented him for not noticing that I needed his authority and accountability.  I started to feel unloved and unnoticed and we ended up in a really bad place.  After a few sessions with a marriage therapist, she recommended that we re-commit to maintenance spankings at a minimum of two times per week.  She also recommended that we use a spanking machine or put in place a regular method for self spanking when my husband is gone for work.

It took us several months to get this going but I am happy to report that our marriage is back on track and blossoming and has never felt better for either of us.  I thought we were on the verge of divorce and now I can't imagine being without him.

How we turned things around:

1.  I was given two maintenance spankings a week and these were not just vague spankings which I think is where couples miss out on the meaning of the maintenance spanking.  They are supposed to help you maintain good behavior and do the things you want to do.  So, our therapist recommended that before each maintenance spanking, I write down what I wanted to be reminded of and my husband reads it with me.  He then tells me to take off my clothes and bend over his knees.  While I'm feeling vulnerable draped over his lap he reminds me of my list and commits himself to help hold me accountable for everything on that list.  Then he asks me what will happen if I stray from the list and I verbally acknowledge that I will be punished.  This verbal communication is important to keep us bonded and focused on the joint goal of becoming a better person and it bonds us in our commitment to each other.  He spanks me with his bare hand long and hard, usually around 200 swats or until my bottom is bright red and hot and I am crying.  Then he sends me to stand in the corner for 2 minutes so that I can focus on the discipline.

2.  Our therapist recommended that punishment sessions were more forceful and issued right away.  This is hard when we're not alone or in public, but we made a commitment to try to be better at it.  We were once really good at it but over time we lost the motivation or he would let me beg my way out of it.  Now, we have two silent tools, one kept at home and one that he has me carry in my handbag wherever we go.  The moment I swear or cop an attitude, he whisks me into a private bathroom and gives me 25-50 whips with the loopy johnny making sure my bottom is red and stingy so that I am reminded of it for the rest of the night.  No one is the wiser and I am immediately reminded that he is noticing and will do whatever is needed in the moment to hold me accountable.  It shows me instantly how much he loves me and how committed he is to us.

3.  Discipline sessions are more severe and his authority is executed more sternly.  This was recommended by our therapist as well because I was becoming depressed and she recommended that my negativity be added to our list and the punishment such that it would deter me from feeling negative about myself and the world.  It sounds odd but it has worked wonders.  When sadness or depression swoops in on me, my husband paddles it away and refocuses me for the rest of the day or even the next several days.  These sessions are longer, usually 15-20 minutes of being whipped with his belt, the longer whip that stings and sometimes even the paddle or cane.  For him it's a huge release as well just knowing that he can do something to help relieve my depression.  It makes him feel better to release his frustration onto my bottom knowing it is helping me.  He whips me until he's exhausted and I'm sobbing and my bottom is hot and red and sore.  I don't forget these sessions for days because it hurts to sit down, but they have helped me and saved our marriage.

4.  Self-spanking and the machine.  When he is gone which is more often now than it used to be, I am instructed to self-spank.  He taught me how to administer a solid spanking by myself and I now do this once a week.  If I need to be punished while he is gone, I confess to him over the phone what I have done that deserves punishment and he instructs me of how many swats to take from the spanking machine.  He then watches via the computer while I receive my discipline, promising me that there will be more when he gets home and can deal with it directly.  Self-spanking and the spanking machine have kept me calm and in a better place when he is gone.

That's all for now.  There's more that I'll share later but if you have fallen off the horse, take my advice and put these 4 steps back into your marriage.  You will be happier and healthier!

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  2. Hi Heather,

    I'm glad that spanking is playing such an important therapeutic role in your life. I'm not only glad, I'm jealous. The spankings I got in my ten years of marriage were only ever playful paddlings over my wife's lap in bed. They were fun, but it was left to me to give myself the painful spankings I craved.

    I was never spanked growing up, punished instead by the withdrawal of affection. Owing to a mix of frustration and curiosity, I began secretly paddling and strapping my bare bottom at age 13. I got my very first over-the-knee spanking at 28 from the woman I married. When she left me 13 years later, she cited spanking as one of the reasons.

    In the years that followed, I paid at least a half-dozen different women to treat me like a naughty boy and smack, paddle and strap my bare backside. Spanking became my religion, and the female lap was my place of worship. Unfortunately, I haven't 'been to church' since early 2009.

    I suppose it's just as well that I'm so good at paddling my own bottom. All I do is stand by my bed with my pants pulled down. Switching from hand to hand, cheek to cheek, I use a solid wooden hairbrush to soundly spank my full, round, jiggly bumcheeks, down to the very tops of my thighs. The sting from a spanking has always been like a narcotic to me; once I've begun to really feel it, I just want more and more.

    Those paddlings might satisfy my hunger for a spanking's physical effects, Heather, but I profoundly miss being bare-bottomed over the lap of female authority. I miss going to church.

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