Showing posts with label Dominance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dominance. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 21, 2018
Monday, July 24, 2017
It Will Save Your Marriage
We got a lot of emails asking us to outline our DD methods and what works best. We're happy to share what we do but you need to know that what works for one couple might not be the right tactic for another. You have to be willing to try new things and change things that aren't working.
TIPS
The trick to submission and dominance is consistency. When consistency fails, the whole thing breaks down. The woman starts to feel unloved, unwanted and unnoticed. She begins to harbor resentment and sadness and anger toward her husband. He feels this change and becomes defensive because he doesn't understand why she is behaving this way toward him. It can quickly become a dark spiral of marital turmoil. So if you are going to commit to a DD relationship, you have to have a solid commitment from both partners in order for both partners to reap the benefits.
HER BENEFITS BY BEING SUBMISSIVE
Submission to the man she loves makes her feel loved and gives her the freedom to relinquish her heart completely to him, trusting him with every element of their lives. When she knows that she no longer has the power to destroy the marriage, she relaxes and becomes a being that is peace-filled and stable. He holds the reins and this allows her to rest in his love. If she misbehaves, or does something that could be damaging to the marriage, he will hold her accountable. There will be restitution and resolution through her submission. It gives her a feeling of safety. It is an unbelievable feeling when the man you love will take you over his knee to clean the slate, save you from yourself and ultimately protect the marriage.
HIS BENEFITS BY BEING DOMINANT
Men were designed to be the dominant partner. They are the protector and provider and defender by nature. Dominance isn't about power but about love. It can be difficult to punish the woman you love, especially when you know that spanking her bottom brings physical pain. It takes great strength to be the dominant male. In taking the woman he loves over his knee and helping her to shape her behavior, he gains the security of knowing her love is so deep and her trust in him so mighty that she will submit her body to him. One body, one flesh. When he disciplines her, he shapes the marriage as well, forcing turmoil away and opening the doorway for peace in their home and their hearts. He gains the security of her love.
Fewer couples who participate in DD end up in divorce. The divorce rate for couples is over 55% in the US and Britain. For DD couples it is under 10%. In additional, fewer DD couples engage in extra-marital affairs than other couples. They also fight less about money and statistically engage in sexual activity more frequently. Bringing the balance of submission and dominance into your marriage is relationship altering and the equivalent of marital salvation. It brings the male-female nature into harmony. DD is not about beating your wife into submission. It is about finding a pathway toward submission together. It is not about power but about offering each other an exchange of unconditional love. It is a love that no matter the infraction, it can prevail. No matter the pain, it can overcome. It gives partners the security and safety every marriage needs.
BOOT CAMP
Start and re-start your marriage with a boot camp. Boot camp is a step-by-step guide to submission and it is crucial in getting the mindset right and bringing your marriage into balance.
We recommend a 3-4 day short boot camp that looks something like this:
Day 1:
a) Upon waking up, husband needs to inform his wife that she will be receiving a spanking at such and such a time and give her instructions. (i.e. at 9:50am remove all of your clothing and stand in the corner reflecting on what infractions you will be punished for going forward. At 9:55am, bring all of the tools downstairs and bend over the couch. At 10:00am we will discuss each item and give a sample whipping for each.) Spanking should be long, hard and include many instruments. You are setting the tone for what is expected. Example: If you lie to me, you will receive a minimum of 50 lashes with the cane. Issue that punishment so your expectations and the consequences are clear. Do this with each item and assign a tool to it. She mush be spanked to tears for the message to get through. If she is not crying, you are not doing it hard or long or fast enough. When the session is finished, send her back to the corner for a minimum of 3 minutes. Do not make love or be intimate until she has had corner time to process the meaning of her actions and the resulting consequences. When the 3 minutes is up then you may indulge in intimacy in any way you like.
b) In the afternoon, give her a spontaneous hard hand-spanking (minimum of 100-150 swats) Explain to her that you will always be watching and you will be quick to respond with punishment if her behavior warrants it.
c) Before bedtime talk with her about how important an attitude of submission is to the success of your marriage. Tell her what you expect and the things you will not tolerate. Take off her clothing, have her lie on her back, raise her legs into the air so that you and she are looking at each other and her bottom is exposed to you, and give her a hard, fast, hand spanking while maintaining eye contact. This lets her know that you see her, all of her, the good and the bad, that you love her for who she is, that she needn't ever hide anything from you. This eye contact while you are spanking her is a very important step in her being able to trust you. Submission is built on trust so she must see that you will look her in the face even when she has done something wrong and love her enough to relieve her of the guilt and shame by punishing her. Again, spank her to tears and then share in intimacy and hold each other through the night.
Day 2:
Use similar techniques for Day 2, except instead of focusing on the behaviors that will bring on punishment, focus on past behaviors for which she believes she needs to atone. Common ones are lies, past fights, inappropriate flirtations, infidelity, manipulations, etc. Address these without anger or blaming or fighting. She must tell you what each one is and then one-by-one in separate sessions throughout the day and night, you clean whatever it is from her slate. This allows her to forgive herself once and for all and to put the shame away. These sessions can be emotional and they must be to tears.
Day 3:
Use similar techniques from Day 2, except today is about you and your feelings and clearing your slate from the frustrations and pain of the past. Some of those things might be the same things that she mentioned yesterday and some may be applicable only to you. Address each one and express how they made you feel. One-by-one in separate sessions throughout the day and night allow her to come to you and offer herself for the sake of your restitution. She must bare herself as a gift to you, giving her body for your cleansing and the cleansing of the marriage. If Day 1 and Day 2 have gone well, this will be something she desperately wants to do. These spankings are true punishment for her and healing for you. Example: if she has wronged you with infidelity, you owe it to her and to yourself to free yourself of those emotions once and for all, even when you have buried them deep and put them away. Allow them to resurface and instead of using hateful words that will demean and crush the marriage, use your belt safely and sternly across her bottom to say what you feel and reveal a cleansed and renewed bond. This is a difficult day for husbands because it entails tapping into your emotions and then letting them out. But, when you do this, it will free your mind and unburden your heart in ways you never imagined.
After boot camp, it is important that you develop a consistent and constant schedule of discipline. A daily reminder spanking is the best, most successful route. If you can't do that, then work out a schedule to be able to do it on days when you are together. Get a spanking machine and watch via skype or facetime if needed. Teach self-spanking if that is a viable option with your spouse. If you travel a lot like me, your wife's bottom should be bright red every day you are home to make up for the days you are gone. It is your duty. Have her chart or write nightly to you, defining any infractions so that you can cater the machine to issue a punishment in your absence or so that you can design a punishment strategy for when you arrive home. Be willing to alter the schedule when needed.
IMPORTANT: Sometime after boot camp, spank her in public. Not in front of other people but in a public place so that she knows that just because you are in public it doesn't mean you aren't willing and ready to take her over your knee. If you're on the road, pull over at a private spot, have her bend over the back seat with her bare bottom exposed and give her a hard hand spanking. If you are in a restaurant or mall, go to the bathroom, take off your belt and give her a strapping she won't forget. At a friend or relative's house, take her discreetly into the bathroom, bend her over the sink and whip her with a belt or a plastic hangar or a hair brush handle. It is imperative that she understands that you still hold the reins even in public.
OUR CURRENT SCHEDULE
Mon - Thursday: Heather receives a reminder spanking with the machine in the morning.
Friday - Sunday: Heather receives a reminder spanking from me in the morning.
Friday afternoon: We address any of the infractions she wrote down in her journal that week and discuss what her punishment will be. She stands naked in the corner to reflect on what she will receive.
Friday evening: She receives a punishment session. These can last up to an hour as they include addressing every infraction individually and corner time.
During the weekend Heather receives punishment spankings whenever her behavior warrants it, which is typically two-to-three times per weekend.
Find what works for you and DO IT!
TIPS
The trick to submission and dominance is consistency. When consistency fails, the whole thing breaks down. The woman starts to feel unloved, unwanted and unnoticed. She begins to harbor resentment and sadness and anger toward her husband. He feels this change and becomes defensive because he doesn't understand why she is behaving this way toward him. It can quickly become a dark spiral of marital turmoil. So if you are going to commit to a DD relationship, you have to have a solid commitment from both partners in order for both partners to reap the benefits.
HER BENEFITS BY BEING SUBMISSIVE
HIS BENEFITS BY BEING DOMINANT
Men were designed to be the dominant partner. They are the protector and provider and defender by nature. Dominance isn't about power but about love. It can be difficult to punish the woman you love, especially when you know that spanking her bottom brings physical pain. It takes great strength to be the dominant male. In taking the woman he loves over his knee and helping her to shape her behavior, he gains the security of knowing her love is so deep and her trust in him so mighty that she will submit her body to him. One body, one flesh. When he disciplines her, he shapes the marriage as well, forcing turmoil away and opening the doorway for peace in their home and their hearts. He gains the security of her love.
BENEFITS FOR BOTH
BOOT CAMP
Start and re-start your marriage with a boot camp. Boot camp is a step-by-step guide to submission and it is crucial in getting the mindset right and bringing your marriage into balance.
We recommend a 3-4 day short boot camp that looks something like this:
Day 1:
a) Upon waking up, husband needs to inform his wife that she will be receiving a spanking at such and such a time and give her instructions. (i.e. at 9:50am remove all of your clothing and stand in the corner reflecting on what infractions you will be punished for going forward. At 9:55am, bring all of the tools downstairs and bend over the couch. At 10:00am we will discuss each item and give a sample whipping for each.) Spanking should be long, hard and include many instruments. You are setting the tone for what is expected. Example: If you lie to me, you will receive a minimum of 50 lashes with the cane. Issue that punishment so your expectations and the consequences are clear. Do this with each item and assign a tool to it. She mush be spanked to tears for the message to get through. If she is not crying, you are not doing it hard or long or fast enough. When the session is finished, send her back to the corner for a minimum of 3 minutes. Do not make love or be intimate until she has had corner time to process the meaning of her actions and the resulting consequences. When the 3 minutes is up then you may indulge in intimacy in any way you like.
b) In the afternoon, give her a spontaneous hard hand-spanking (minimum of 100-150 swats) Explain to her that you will always be watching and you will be quick to respond with punishment if her behavior warrants it.
c) Before bedtime talk with her about how important an attitude of submission is to the success of your marriage. Tell her what you expect and the things you will not tolerate. Take off her clothing, have her lie on her back, raise her legs into the air so that you and she are looking at each other and her bottom is exposed to you, and give her a hard, fast, hand spanking while maintaining eye contact. This lets her know that you see her, all of her, the good and the bad, that you love her for who she is, that she needn't ever hide anything from you. This eye contact while you are spanking her is a very important step in her being able to trust you. Submission is built on trust so she must see that you will look her in the face even when she has done something wrong and love her enough to relieve her of the guilt and shame by punishing her. Again, spank her to tears and then share in intimacy and hold each other through the night.
Day 2:
Use similar techniques for Day 2, except instead of focusing on the behaviors that will bring on punishment, focus on past behaviors for which she believes she needs to atone. Common ones are lies, past fights, inappropriate flirtations, infidelity, manipulations, etc. Address these without anger or blaming or fighting. She must tell you what each one is and then one-by-one in separate sessions throughout the day and night, you clean whatever it is from her slate. This allows her to forgive herself once and for all and to put the shame away. These sessions can be emotional and they must be to tears.
Day 3:
Use similar techniques from Day 2, except today is about you and your feelings and clearing your slate from the frustrations and pain of the past. Some of those things might be the same things that she mentioned yesterday and some may be applicable only to you. Address each one and express how they made you feel. One-by-one in separate sessions throughout the day and night allow her to come to you and offer herself for the sake of your restitution. She must bare herself as a gift to you, giving her body for your cleansing and the cleansing of the marriage. If Day 1 and Day 2 have gone well, this will be something she desperately wants to do. These spankings are true punishment for her and healing for you. Example: if she has wronged you with infidelity, you owe it to her and to yourself to free yourself of those emotions once and for all, even when you have buried them deep and put them away. Allow them to resurface and instead of using hateful words that will demean and crush the marriage, use your belt safely and sternly across her bottom to say what you feel and reveal a cleansed and renewed bond. This is a difficult day for husbands because it entails tapping into your emotions and then letting them out. But, when you do this, it will free your mind and unburden your heart in ways you never imagined.
After boot camp, it is important that you develop a consistent and constant schedule of discipline. A daily reminder spanking is the best, most successful route. If you can't do that, then work out a schedule to be able to do it on days when you are together. Get a spanking machine and watch via skype or facetime if needed. Teach self-spanking if that is a viable option with your spouse. If you travel a lot like me, your wife's bottom should be bright red every day you are home to make up for the days you are gone. It is your duty. Have her chart or write nightly to you, defining any infractions so that you can cater the machine to issue a punishment in your absence or so that you can design a punishment strategy for when you arrive home. Be willing to alter the schedule when needed.
IMPORTANT: Sometime after boot camp, spank her in public. Not in front of other people but in a public place so that she knows that just because you are in public it doesn't mean you aren't willing and ready to take her over your knee. If you're on the road, pull over at a private spot, have her bend over the back seat with her bare bottom exposed and give her a hard hand spanking. If you are in a restaurant or mall, go to the bathroom, take off your belt and give her a strapping she won't forget. At a friend or relative's house, take her discreetly into the bathroom, bend her over the sink and whip her with a belt or a plastic hangar or a hair brush handle. It is imperative that she understands that you still hold the reins even in public.
OUR CURRENT SCHEDULE
Mon - Thursday: Heather receives a reminder spanking with the machine in the morning.
Friday - Sunday: Heather receives a reminder spanking from me in the morning.
Friday afternoon: We address any of the infractions she wrote down in her journal that week and discuss what her punishment will be. She stands naked in the corner to reflect on what she will receive.
Friday evening: She receives a punishment session. These can last up to an hour as they include addressing every infraction individually and corner time.
During the weekend Heather receives punishment spankings whenever her behavior warrants it, which is typically two-to-three times per weekend.
Find what works for you and DO IT!
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Quiet Spankings When Kids Are Home
One of the questions we are ask most often is how can couples administer discipline when there are children in the home? This makes things challenging for sure, but it can be done. It takes a huge commitment to obedience and follow-thru.
Here are some pointers:
1. Invest in a silent tool like a Loopy Johnny or a plastic hanger will work.
2. Get a mindset that spankings will be quick and quiet and that any type of sexual gratifications will most likely be delayed until later.
3. Come up with a code that the children do not recognize, but that tells your partner to go to the designated room and prepare for a spanking. (If our children are home my husband touches the front of his belt buckle and I know that I need to go prepare.)
4. The bathroom is a good place to administer discipline because you can turn on the shower or the fan to mask sound.
5. Administer quick swats with a silent tool and then follow it with corner time. If the message hasn't gotten through, administer another set of swats followed by more corner time.
6. The moment an infraction is made issue discipline immediately. This is crucial to the success of the dominant/submissive, loving relationship. If you do not hold your partner accountable immediately they will begin to dis-respect your authority and they will begin to feel unloved and unnoticed.
7. Don't make the mistake of taking it easy or being overly gentle during discipline. If a rule was broken, punishment is earned. It's that simple. You are not being mean by giving your partner the discipline they deserve. In fact, if you intentionally don't give a harsh spanking that has been earned, you are causing more damage than good.
8. If you are new to DD or if you have taken a long break from it for whatever reasons, start over with a training period/boot camp. That means each morning begin the day with a maintenance or reminder paddling and naked corner time. Again, the bathroom is the ideal place for this. Get up before the kids are awake, have your partner strip naked, bend her over the sink or the tub or your lap and issue a sound spanking with a quiet tool. Send her immediately to the corner so that she can process your authority and her decision to submit to it. This is very important to start her day off with the right mindset. Likewise, before bed, after the kids are asleep, give her another maintenance spanking or address issues where she may have wavered in attitude or action during the day. The goal is that every time she sits down she is reminded of your love and the safety of your authority.
These steps will help you but you've got to commit to doing them. No arguing and no begging. We have a rule in our home, if I argue or beg, it's 50 swats with his belt on top of whatever discipline I have already earned.
Here are some pointers:
1. Invest in a silent tool like a Loopy Johnny or a plastic hanger will work.
2. Get a mindset that spankings will be quick and quiet and that any type of sexual gratifications will most likely be delayed until later.
3. Come up with a code that the children do not recognize, but that tells your partner to go to the designated room and prepare for a spanking. (If our children are home my husband touches the front of his belt buckle and I know that I need to go prepare.)
4. The bathroom is a good place to administer discipline because you can turn on the shower or the fan to mask sound.
5. Administer quick swats with a silent tool and then follow it with corner time. If the message hasn't gotten through, administer another set of swats followed by more corner time.
6. The moment an infraction is made issue discipline immediately. This is crucial to the success of the dominant/submissive, loving relationship. If you do not hold your partner accountable immediately they will begin to dis-respect your authority and they will begin to feel unloved and unnoticed.
7. Don't make the mistake of taking it easy or being overly gentle during discipline. If a rule was broken, punishment is earned. It's that simple. You are not being mean by giving your partner the discipline they deserve. In fact, if you intentionally don't give a harsh spanking that has been earned, you are causing more damage than good.
8. If you are new to DD or if you have taken a long break from it for whatever reasons, start over with a training period/boot camp. That means each morning begin the day with a maintenance or reminder paddling and naked corner time. Again, the bathroom is the ideal place for this. Get up before the kids are awake, have your partner strip naked, bend her over the sink or the tub or your lap and issue a sound spanking with a quiet tool. Send her immediately to the corner so that she can process your authority and her decision to submit to it. This is very important to start her day off with the right mindset. Likewise, before bed, after the kids are asleep, give her another maintenance spanking or address issues where she may have wavered in attitude or action during the day. The goal is that every time she sits down she is reminded of your love and the safety of your authority.
These steps will help you but you've got to commit to doing them. No arguing and no begging. We have a rule in our home, if I argue or beg, it's 50 swats with his belt on top of whatever discipline I have already earned.Thursday, March 6, 2014
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Dropping my Pants like F-bombs
My husband doesn’t like it when I curse. It’s one of the things on my list of things
for which I get disciplined. Honestly, I
don’t want to use bad language either but sometimes it just flows out of
me. Whenever I am upset or mad or feel
there’s been an injustice or in pain or frustrated, well, you get the
picture. I tend to teeter on the edge of
cursing a lot.
Today, my husband came up from his office downstairs right
as I was talking to a girlfriend on the phone and venting some of my
frustration. I dropped several f-bombs
before I realized he was in the room. He
told me to get off of the phone and bare my bottom immediately, which, of
course I didn’t do because my girlfriend was in the middle of talking and it
would have been rude to interrupt her.
That made my hubby twice as mad.
“Tell her you’ll call her back and hang up the phone now,”
he said.
Finally, about ten minutes later when my girlfriend stopped
talking, I made up an excuse why I had to go.
My husband had left a note for me on the kitchen table that read: “Go get my black belt, the cane and the loopy
johnny whip, get naked and come to my office.”
I got butterflies in my stomach when I saw the note. I knew I was in for a big beating. Part of me thought to grab my car keys and
leave, but I knew once I returned it would be even worse. So, I fetched the tools, took off my clothes
and walked downstairs to his office. He
took the tools from me and told me to stand in the corner. I did.
He told me that if I was going to be dropping F-bombs then I was going to be dropping my pants.
After a few minutes in the
corner, he took me over his knee and gave me a hard, hard, hard spanking with
his hand. My butt was burning hot
already when he was through and told me to bend over the arm of the sofa. He rarely makes me count swats, but he did
today and I counted 55 swats with his belt.
My butt was on fire and I was fighting back the urge to cry. He moved me to the coffee table and
instructed me to bend over and place my hands on the table, sticking my butt
out toward him. He then gave me 25
lashes with the cane. I finally cried. The cane hurts really bad. Back over his knee I went for forty swats
with the loopy johnny whip while he lectured me on how the F word is not
appropriate for a lady to say and should not be said in our home.
I hope I’ve learned my lesson this time. My bottom stings even as I sit here typing
this. I wish I didn’t curse and I’m
going to try really hard to do better, otherwise I won’t be able to sit down
EVER.
After my spanking was over, he kissed me and told me I had a
clean slate. He then told me to try and
keep it clean longer than I had kept it clean before. I’m going to try. It never ceases to amaze me how much he loves
me and how right I feel whenever he holds me accountable to the things in
myself that I want to change. I can’t do
it alone and though I don’t like to be punished, I do like the fact that he’s
strong enough to take me under his authority and give me a spanking when I need
it. A lot of people think this is
strange, but I think it’s wonderful.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Belted
I've been reading these books on discipline and I've blogged about a couple of them. Well, this last one I thought was so good I shared it with my hubby, who made the comment that the way the man in book responded was exactly how he would have responded too. It led us to some pretty deep conversations. For example: In the book the man spanks the woman in the stairwell of their apartment building where anyone could have walked in and seen or even overheard what was happening.
I asked my hubby: Would you spank me somewhere public like that, where someone might see us?
He said: If you did to me what she did to him I'd have dragged your ass into the middle of the street and whipped you in plain sight of everyone.
Me: Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. That would not be good.
We ended up arguing about what the man could and couldn't do, what was considered "right" or "wrong" and "fair" or "unfair."
Needless to say it escalated into a full on fight and I ended up bent over the counter in the kitchen getting a whipping with his belt. He chose the belt because that was the name of the book: Belting Love
He gave me a hard whipping for my attitude and then took me over his knee right before bed for a reminder spanking. My butt was burning as I crawled into bed.
Anyway, despite the fact that I got in trouble ..........AGAIN........ I really am enjoying these books. If you're an Amazon Prime member like me you can download them for free! Just click on the pics for the links:
I totally recommend them for men and women, and they are really hot when you read them together. But watch out for the discussions that follow. They can get you into a bit of trouble. :)
I asked my hubby: Would you spank me somewhere public like that, where someone might see us?
He said: If you did to me what she did to him I'd have dragged your ass into the middle of the street and whipped you in plain sight of everyone.
Me: Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. That would not be good.
We ended up arguing about what the man could and couldn't do, what was considered "right" or "wrong" and "fair" or "unfair."
Needless to say it escalated into a full on fight and I ended up bent over the counter in the kitchen getting a whipping with his belt. He chose the belt because that was the name of the book: Belting Love
He gave me a hard whipping for my attitude and then took me over his knee right before bed for a reminder spanking. My butt was burning as I crawled into bed.
Anyway, despite the fact that I got in trouble ..........AGAIN........ I really am enjoying these books. If you're an Amazon Prime member like me you can download them for free! Just click on the pics for the links:
I totally recommend them for men and women, and they are really hot when you read them together. But watch out for the discussions that follow. They can get you into a bit of trouble. :)
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