Part of my discipline is to write down all of the reasons why I need to be disciplined and today he asked me to write those reasons into my blog. So here goes:
1. My language has been foul even in front of other people and I know that is forbidden. I know I have the power to choose my own words and when I drop the F word it is a choice I am making and that choice comes with consequences. My bottom is going to pay the price this morning.
2. I haven't been good at exercising and I've asked him to help me stay on track. When I get lazy with my body I know I have earned a solid lashing to remind me to take care of myself.
3. I have had a very negative attitude recently and I know I am due for an attitude adjustment in the form of a paddling.
4. I've been disrespectful and even hurtful to my husband and I don't want to treat him that way. I know that going over his knee will remind me that he is on my side and he deserves my respect.
5. Jealousy. There's this woman at his work that likes to flirt with him. It's harmless and I know he won't do anything but it bothers me and sometimes I let my mind run away with me. This week I accused him of flirting with her, which he didn't really do.
The waiting is the worst part. He'll come in with that look on his face and we'll talk about all of these things. It's hard to look him in the eyes and discuss the fact that I'm going to receive a spanking. Even after all of this time I get embarrassed and humiliated, but I know that I am better when he disciplines me. I feel better. I get a sense of release and a calmness and I feel his love when he takes action. I know it isn't always easy on him to punish me, but he does it anyway because he knows it makes me and us better and for that I adore him.
I've just been told to sign off and bend over the bed with my bare bottom exposed and think about my forthcoming punishment, so I have to go.
