How Spanking Saved Our Marriage

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Sometimes We All Need A Little Help

I don't blog as much as I used to because there just isn't enough time and we've been trying some other methods of discipline that don't involve me blogging about every time I am given a whipping. We have tried a lot of things and I want to tell you about the most recent ones that have really worked well for us.

As all of you guys know my hubby travels for work and sometimes works from home in his home office that is in our basement.  I've gotten many spankings in his office at home, so much that whenever he calls me down there I get those nerves of anticipation in my belly.  Lately, like the past year, he's been traveling over seas more and those are longer trips.  It's taken a toll on me and on our marriage in a way because we haven't been as joined together as we used to be.  I have gotten lonely sometimes and started doing more stuff with my friends and our neighbors.

Three months ago, my hubby was home and we had some of our neighbors over for dinner and drinks and games.  One neighbor, Mitch, I've been hanging out with more often then the others lately and I guess maybe we've been a little more flirty then we should have been.  He rubbed his thumb over my shoulder during our card game and my husband noticed it right away.  When everybody left for the night, my hubby asked me if I had fucked Mitch.  It blew up into a horrible fight and we realized that I was angry at him for being gone so much and he was angry at me for being lonely and needing more attention.  He asked me if I wanted to fuck Mitch and though I had never done anything with Mitch, I couldn't deny that his attention felt really good to me.  My husband asked me if I had been unfaithful to him?  No.  I hadn't, not with my body but with my thoughts, maybe I had.  I broke down sobbing feeling awful and angry.  What was worse was he didn't spank me for my admission of having unfaithful thoughts.  He didn't do anything.

Weeks went by and it was awful.  I thought our marriage was ending.  Then a package came in the mail and he took it downstairs to his office without showing it to me.  My mind started to wonder if he was seeing someone on the side and that's why he didn't punish me for having thoughts about Mitch.  A few hours later he called me downstairs and told me that he didn't punish me for my thoughts about Mitch because he knew that the way I was feeling was partially his fault.  He said he had neglected me and our marriage and had let his work get in the way of our health.  He apologized to me and told me how important I was to him and how much he loved me. I couldn't believe it.  I was so relieved to hear him take responsibility for us and to hear him acknowledge that he had left me and left our marriage behind to his job.  We made love on the couch in his office and it was beautiful.

Afterwards, as I was starting to get dressed, he told me to leave my panties off.  I knew immediately what that meant.  He was going to spank me.  He told me that he was going to discipline me for allowing myself to become flirty with Mitch and for letting myself entertain romantic notions about him.  I knew I deserved this punishment.  He bent me over the arm of the couch, slid his belt from his pants that were on the floor, and gave me a long, hard whipping.  He then sent me to the corner to think about why I allowed myself to be flirty with another man.  He then brought me back over to the couch and over his knee where he gave me a hard hand spanking until I cried in his arms, admitting that I knew it was wrong and asking for his forgiveness.

Back to the corner to think about how my actions brought on these consequences.  Then he told me to put my hands atop his desk and bend over.  I did and awaited the sting of his belt but it didn't come.  Instead he sat down in his chair behind his desk, facing me.  He pushed a button on a remote and I heard a whirring sound and then felt the slap of a paddle.  I looked at him, confused for a moment and then realized that he had placed a spanking machine on the desk.  It was set for ten minutes.  He folded his arms and watched quietly as I received several more slaps with the paddle.  "Every day that I am traveling, you will come down here, take off your panties, bend over my desk and get a spanking to remind you that even when I'm not here, I still care about you, about your behavior and about our marriage."  I cried as he spoke.

He set the machine to maximum levels so it would issue a hard spanking every time.  I've been using it regularly at his request.  I haven't even thought about Mitch or any other man.  Sometimes, when I have infractions in other areas and he is gone, he will call me at night, instruct me to go downstairs for my punishment and then stay on the phone talking to me while I get a spanking.

Our marriage is better, we are connected and close again and it's all thanks to a spanking machine.  If you or your spouse travels and you've felt the disconnect and the loneliness and haven't been able to discipline or be disciplined the way you know is needed for a healthy marriage, get one of these machines, lay down the rules and obey them.  You will be better!  

https://www.spankermachine.com/index.php?lang=en

Quiet Spankings When Kids Are Home

One of the questions we are ask most often is how can couples administer discipline when there are children in the home?  This makes things challenging for sure, but it can be done.  It takes a huge commitment to obedience and follow-thru.

Here are some pointers:

1.  Invest in a silent tool like a Loopy Johnny or a plastic hanger will work.

2.  Get a mindset that spankings will be quick and quiet and that any type of sexual gratifications will most likely be delayed until later.

3.  Come up with a code that the children do not recognize, but that tells your partner to go to the designated room and prepare for a spanking.   (If our children are home my husband touches the front of his belt buckle and I know that I need to go prepare.)

4.  The bathroom is a good place to administer discipline because you can turn on the shower or the fan to mask sound.

5.  Administer quick swats with a silent tool and then follow it with corner time.  If the message hasn't gotten through, administer another set of swats followed by more corner time.

6.  The moment an infraction is made issue discipline immediately.  This is crucial to the success of the dominant/submissive, loving relationship.  If you do not hold your partner accountable immediately they will begin to dis-respect your authority and they will begin to feel unloved and unnoticed.

7.  Don't make the mistake of taking it easy or being overly gentle during discipline.  If a rule was broken, punishment is earned.  It's that simple.  You are not being mean by giving your partner the discipline they deserve.  In fact, if you intentionally don't give a harsh spanking that has been earned, you are causing more damage than good.

8.  If you are new to DD or if you have taken a long break from it for whatever reasons, start over with a training period/boot camp.  That means each morning begin the day with a maintenance or reminder paddling and naked corner time.  Again, the bathroom is the ideal place for this.  Get up before the kids are awake, have your partner strip naked, bend her over the sink or the tub or your lap and issue a sound spanking with a quiet tool.  Send her immediately to the corner so that she can process your authority and her decision to submit to it.  This is very important to start her day off with the right mindset.  Likewise, before bed, after the kids are asleep, give her another maintenance spanking or address issues where she may have wavered in attitude or action during the day.  The goal is that every time she sits down she is reminded of your love and the safety of your authority.


These steps will help you but you've got to commit to doing them.  No arguing and no begging.  We have a rule in our home, if I argue or beg, it's 50 swats with his belt on top of whatever discipline I have already earned.

A Bare Red Bottom

When I'm about to get a spanking for something I know I have done wrong, I feel knotted inside. When he makes me stand in the corner before the spanking, I can't help but replay the infraction over and over in my brain.  That time, though only a few minutes, helps prepare me to have a submissive attitude so that when he bends me over, I am ready to accept the spanking.

His authority is arousing even though the spanking hurts.  He paddles me hard and fast usually and it stings.  If he's giving me an all around discipline session, he will use multiple tools and then my butt gets really red and sore.  But, his message gets driven home.

Nothing proves as a better reminder than a bare, red bottom.

Why We Do DD

I don't have a lot of time to blog anymore but I do still keep a journal of our DD journey.  Someday I'll enter all of my journal entries into this blog.  The DD lifestyle is a journey indeed and we learn what works and what doesn't work as we try new things.  The past couple of months we've tried many things that haven't worked.  I'm going to post specifically about those later in the week, but today I want to tell you about why this lifestyle works for us.  Lots of people question it and even judge us for it.  Many people have said that it is abusive and that's what I want to clarify the most.  The DD lifestyle is not abusive at all.  In fact, it's the opposite of abuse.  It's pure, strong, unconditional love.

My husband has never hurt me, and by hurt I mean intentionally hit me or abused me in a way that was purposefully done to inflict harm.  He doesn't scream at me nor strike me.  He doesn't embarrass me in front of our family, friends or public places.  He respects me for who I am and loves me deeply and tenderly.  That's why this lifestyle works for us.

I want to be the best woman I can be.  I want to be a good person, a good mother and a good wife.  I want to be honest and non-judgmental and I never want to be lazy.  I want to be healthy for myself and for our family and I don't want to say or do things that will hurt myself or my kids or my husband.  By the same token, my husband wants to be the best man he can be.  He strives to be a protector and provider for us and to be an attentive father and husband.  He is gentle, affectionate and strong.  There is a natural balance in our marriage and it works well for us.

When things get out of balance, we argue and fight or sometimes begin to grow apart.  Like any marriage we have hit rough patches along the way.  Most, not all but most, of the rough patches were caused by me.  I carried a lot of guilt over this fact.  So, when I learned about the DD lifestyle, I brought the idea to my husband and asked him if we could try it.  I asked him to hold me accountable and to discipline me when necessary.

He was hesitant to comply at first but we began the journey together and it has only brought us closer.

I gave him a list of things I wanted to improve on and we discussed the list.  These things weren't HIS rules imposed on me.  They were my ideas and I brought them to him to help hold me accountable.

For example:  Over-spending.  I know that overspending puts stress on our family and I don't want to do that.  I can be an impulse shopper and I want a deterrent from impulse buying.  So, we decided on a budget and if I go over that budget, he will hold me accountable to it.  This usually means I am draped over his knee for a solid paddling and then into the corner naked to think about it and then bent over for a belt whipping to drive the point home.  I know when I overspend that I will be punished hard and I also know that I deserve that punishment.

Some people think this is cruel, but that's because they don't see the compassion and the love that goes into it.  I don't get beaten if I go a cent over budget.  If there are times I have to exceed the budget I call him and tell him why and then I am not punished.  It has taught me the value of money and the need to be selective in what I purchase and not be frivolous with our income.  When I blatantly ignore the budget is when I am held accountable and disciplined.

Spanking me is not abusing me.  Spanking me is protecting me and our marriage and our family from behaviors that can negatively affect us.  By taking me over his knee, he is assuring me that he will not let me, my mistakes or anything destroy us.

Sometimes it is hard to face the fact that I need to be disciplined.  When he puts my legs in the air and spanks me while looking me in the eyes and addressing why I am being punished, I feel embarrassed and ashamed.  But I know it is needed so that I will change my behavior.

The same hands that spank me are the ones that hold me and touch me and love me and it is an amazing bond.  I trust him with all of me and I know that he would never jeopardize us or our family on a whim.  Incorporating the DD lifestyle into our lives has saved our marriage and brought us closer than I ever thought we would be.  He is my very best friend.

My Infraction List - About to Get a BIG ONE

I'm sitting here with my panties off, waiting for a spanking that I know will be a long and painful one. I also know I've earned it.

Part of my discipline is to write down all of the reasons why I need to be disciplined and today he asked me to write those reasons into my blog.  So here goes:

1.  My language has been foul even in front of other people and I know that is forbidden.  I know I have the power to choose my own words and when I drop the F word it is a choice I am making and that choice comes with consequences.  My bottom is going to pay the price this morning.

2. I haven't been good at exercising and I've asked him to help me stay on track.  When I get lazy with my body I know I have earned a solid lashing to remind me to take care of myself.

3.  I have had a very negative attitude recently and I know I am due for an attitude adjustment in the form of a paddling.

4.  I've been disrespectful and even hurtful to my husband and I don't want to treat him that way.  I know that going over his knee will remind me that he is on my side and he deserves my respect.

5.  Jealousy.  There's this woman at his work that likes to flirt with him.  It's harmless and I know he won't do anything but it bothers me and sometimes I let my mind run away with me.  This week I accused him of flirting with her, which he didn't really do.

The waiting is the worst part.  He'll come in with that look on his face and we'll talk about all of these things.  It's hard to look him in the eyes and discuss the fact that I'm going to receive a spanking.  Even after all of this time I get embarrassed and humiliated, but I know that I am better when he disciplines me.  I feel better.  I get a sense of release and a calmness and I feel his love when he takes action.  I know it isn't always easy on him to punish me, but he does it anyway because he knows it makes me and us better and for that I adore him.

I've just been told to sign off and bend over the bed with my bare bottom exposed and think about my forthcoming punishment, so I have to go.

Top Ten Tips to Make Your New Year a Spanking Success

Happy New Year DD friends!

We hope the new year will bring you resolutions of good behavior and when the behavior slips, we hope you will have good discipline in tact to provide stability in your home.  May you have more maintenance and less punishment spankings this year.

We decided to start 2016 off with some important information about how to bring balance and keep balance in your home.

Follow these steps and we guarantee you will find harmony in your relationship:

1.      1.  Sit down with your partner and write in a maintenance spanking schedule on your calendar.  If it is in writing it will be that much easier to stick to.  **This is especially important for couples who spend a lot of time apart due to their careers.  Choose the date and time and then stick to it. 

2.      2.   Re-evaluate your improvement list and add to it any new resolutions you have made.

3.       3.  Assign a punishment value to every item on the list.  **We have found that this is highly effective in deterring mis-behavior.  i.e. if she knows that ignoring her exercise plan will result in a consistent outpouring of 50 lashes with the cane, she will be more prone to make the choice to do the exercise.

 

4.       4.  Also assign a position to the list.  Your list might look something like this:

Cursing                                 -              25 swats with belt for each curse word           -      OTK

Attitude               -              50 swats with the hairbrush for each occurrence     -   Bent over bed

Exercise               -              50 caning swats     -   Standing with fingers locked behind head

Maintenance     -              10 minute hand spanking   -  OTK

Over-spending  -

Lying                   -

Adultery             -

And so on and so forth.  The new year is the time to assign new values and new positions and then commit yourself to stick to them.

5.       5.  Corner time is a MUST and you need to re-commit to enforcing it.  **Some women are opposed to corner time because they feel it is humiliating so derive an alternative.  A very effective alternative is to have her lie naked over the edge of the bed with her bottom exposed and write down why she is about to be punished and how she can avoid punishment in the future. This is less humiliating for the woman and it allows her to visually process her behavior as she writes it down.  It also gives the husband something to review with her before he begins the discipline session.

6.       6.  Get rid of the excuses!  **The biggest excuse we hear is that couples are rarely alone to execute punishment when needed.  This is fixable with a commitment from both parties.  If there are people in your home when punishment is earned, then leave your home.  Drive to a vacant parking lot, a vacant road, climb into the backseat and provide the discipline that is needed.  Don’t allow yourself to make excuses.  **If children are in the home, pretend to take a shower, turn on the water, the bathroom fan, lock the doors, provide a pillow for the partner being punished to cry into and use a silent tool.  It CAN be done and it MUST be done!

7.      7.   Guilt-Release Session   **We are learning more and more that women carry more guilt than men.  With regards to day-to-day issues men are able to release guilt faster and easier than women.  So, gents, it is your responsibility to help bring your wife or partner relief from the guilt she is experiencing and there’s no better time than the new year to start things off right!

WHAT A GUILT-RELEASE SESSION LOOKS LIKE

a.        The wife writes down a list of all of the things she feels guilty about.  This list might be day-to-day things, people she’s let down, mistakes she’s made in the past or present, etc.  Every woman is different and her list will be unique to her life experiences.

b.      Sit down together and read the list.  This is not a time for judgment or a time to argue that she should or should not feel the way she feels.  If an item is on the list, she is feeling guilty about it, and thusly it must be addressed in order for her to feel relief.  **Many women will cry just in sharing the list because they have a great amount of shame or humiliation attached to the issues they have written down.  This is normal and not an indication that they do not want to follow-through with the session.

c.       Depending on the length of the list, it may need to be broken down into more than one session.  This is permissible, but try to keep the sessions all in the same day.  i.e. one in the morning, one in the afternoon, one in the evening.

d.      Assign a punishment value to each item and write those next to the item.

e.      During the session, eye-contact is extremely important for two reasons:  1) Looking you in the eyes as you discuss the item makes her take full ownership in it.    2) Looking you in the eyes allows her to see your forgiveness and your unconditional love for her.  It makes her feel secure that even in her worse offense, you will not allow her to destroy the relationship. Your strength will bring your relationship back to a place of balance.

f.        Address each item verbally first and then administer the punishment.  **Sometimes an item prompts questions like, “what were you thinking?” or “why would you do that?”  This is okay.  Husbands will often encounter an item on her list that arises feelings of anger in them and that is acceptable.  Putting her over your knee is a means of cleansing both of you, acknowledging the anger she has made you feel and punishing her for the behavior, ultimately restoring balance in the relationship.

8.       8.  She must be naked during a discipline session.  **Couples try to squirm around this one but it is crucial to the success of DD.  Her nakedness is a symbol of her submission to you and of stripping down all exterior factors that stand between you. 

9.       9.  Immediate Punishment is of the utmost important because it is what builds her trust in your ability to lead the home.  **Men, you must prove to her that your word is true and thusly you must do what you say you are going to do.  The more she trusts your follow-through, the quicker she will learn to submit to you and the more peaceful your relationship will be.

1    10. Alone time after a punishment session is needed for at least 3-5 minutes for her to process her behavior and your strength in correcting her.  After the time has lapsed, come back to her and then be affectionate.  **We are learning more and more that immediate sexual gratification is inhibiting the dominant-submissive connection, but adding in affection after a short time of reflection strengthens the connection.

That’s it!  Your top ten new year’s resolutions to start the year off aces!

This message was sent to our newsletter patrons as well but we thought it was helpful and wanted to share with everyone!  Happy New Year!

P.S.  Now, I'm off to get a spanking for being 6 days late at getting the newsletter out.  He asked me three times to get it down and I kept procrastinating.  I am sorry for my delay and I know in about 15 minutes I'm going to be a whole lot sorrier.  He's already laid his belt across the chair and my stomach is trembling with anticipation.  This will be my first punishment spanking of 2016 and I'm certain he's going to make it leave a lasting impression.  

Whip It Good

This was me today after a hard spanking.  My sarcastic mouth got the best of me again and my hubby gave me quite the whipping with his belt.  What's more is he told me I'm getting the second half of the punishment tonight before bed.  My butt is still sore and I'm already dreading what's coming, even though I know I've earned it.

NOW!

It's been a while since I've had a chance to blog because I got a part time job and have been tired by the end of every day.  My husband said I needed to get back at it so here I am.  We've had many discipline sessions since I last blogged but it would take forever to tell you about them, so I'll just talk about the spanking I got today, since my bottom is still burning from it.

I had been a smart mouth most of the day and my husband finally had enough.  I made a sarcastic remark and he put his arm around my waist and whispered in my ear.  "Go pull down your pants now."  I objected because our kids were home and two of our nephews were visiting so we had a houseful of kids, but he didn't care.  He had had it with my attitude and my remarks.  "NOW!" he whispered and gave my arm a deliberate squeeze.

I went into our bathroom, pulled down my pants and panties and bent over the side of the tub.  I thought I knew what was going to happen, he'd take the silent took, a loopy johnny, give me 15-20 quiet slaps and I'd be on my way, but boy was I ever wrong.  When he came into our bedroom, he locked the door and turned on the t.v. really loud.  It was a soccer game.  Then he came into the bathroom and locked that door behind him and turned on the shower and the fan.  I knew right then that he was planning on using more then just the silent tool.

He pulled me from over the tub and led me to the corner.  While I stood with my nose in the corner, he rubbed his hands over my bare ass and told me about the punishment I was going to get and why I was going to get it.  He talked about my attitude and my comments and explained that he wasn't going to tolerate this type of disrespectful behavior.  He ran his finger over my private part and stroked a few times while he explained that it was his job to keep me disciplined and on the right track and that he had been lax lately.  He then led me back to the tub where he asked me to bend over and rest my hands against the edge, so my bottom was outward, facing him.  He started with his belt and gave me 30 stinging slaps until I was crying and apologizing.  Then he had me lay down on my back and put my legs in the air so he could make eye contact with me while he spanked me.  He used the wooden paddle and gave me 20 swats, making me look him in the eye with every swat.  This was humiliating.  Looking at him while he punishes me is the worst because I can't hide the fact that I know I deserve what I'm getting.  After that he took me back into the bathroom and bent me over the tub and gave me a hard lashing with the silent tool until I was sobbing.

"I want you to think about your attitude."  He warned me and then he told me that no matter where we are or no matter if the kids are home, he will hold me accountable for my actions and my behavior.  My butt is so sore but I never feel more loved then when he takes the time to discipline me.

Spanking Pics

Some pics you might like:

A Hard Belting

Boy, did I get it for my attitude.  He came into our room with his belt already in his hand and before I could say anything he told me lay over the side of the bed with my arms stretched out in front of me and my legs dangling off the side.  He then placed a pillow beneath by pelvis to lift my bottom into the air a little more.

"Do you understand why you're about to get a whipping?"  He asked.

"Yes sir," I said, hoping my better attitude of submission would make him go easier on me.

"Explain why," he said and rubbed his hand over my bottom to warm my cheeks.

"Because of my bad attitude," I said.

"And because your attitude is a sign of what?"

"Disrespect," I answered.  "I'm sorry."

"Not as sorry as you're going to be when we're through here," he said and then drew his arm way back and let the belt slap down on my butt.  It stung and I couldn't help but cry out.

"Thirty nine more to go," he said, "that is, if you don't squirm or try to block your ass."

I held still but by the fifth slap I was already in tears and apologizing.  Half way through he had me roll over onto my back and place my legs in the air so I had to look him in the face during the rest of the spanking.  That's when I cried the hardest.  I could see love and anger in his eyes while he punished me and I knew without a doubt that I deserved the spanking I was getting.

After the forty lashes with his belt, he pulled me over his knee for a hard hand spanking and he talked to me during the hand spanking.  He reminded me that he doesn't like to hurt me, but that he will hold me accountable and that he knows it is his job to teach me how to be submissive.  He knows it wouldn't be fair to either one of us or to our marriage if he slacked off on his responsibilities as head of our home.  I know he's right and I'm glad he's strong enough to hold me accountable.  I hate being spanked for punishment but I know I need it.  I'm better for it.

Male Perspective on Spanking

Heather hasn't been blogging lately because her attitude has been less than desirable and her blogs were not uplifting, so she deleted them.  In her absence she has received a lot of emails asking where she is and if she's going to be continuing her blog.  The answer is yes.  January for us held a new awakening in discipline and she is excited to tell you about it.  First we decided it would be best if I presented a husband view and answered some of the male questions, and then she will begin blogging and sharing from the female perspective and answer those questions.

Being the man and the head of the household isn't always easy.  I think some people get it in their heads that I always want to discipline my wife when that isn't the case.  There are times when she needs a spanking but I don't feel like doing it.  It's at those times when I have to press forward and honor my commitment to her and to us and take her over my knee.  As the head of the home, it is my job to maintain peace and order so keeping a tight handle on my wife's attitude and respectful behavior is imperative to the overall health and harmony in our home.

Men, you must follow these simple rules if discipline is going to work for you:

1.  Conduct a boot camp at least once every quarter.  It serves as a reminder to her of the difference between punishment spankings and maintenance spankings and it will make her appreciate the maintenance ones.  It also helps teach her to be submissive in attitude, not weak, submissive.  It takes a woman a great deal of strength to submit to a man.  Don't underestimate this and your job to teach her how to do it.

2.  Give her a reminder paddling every night before bed.  If she objects, increase the paddling.  She will sleep better and wake up with a good outlook on life.

3.  Remember gentleman that a hard spanking provides your love with emotional release that inevitably lowers her stress level, calms her irritability and fights depression.  You are literally doing her a favor by giving her a hard throttling and you should, for this reason, spank her bottom until she cries and achieves the needed release.  If you quit too soon you have done nothing for either of you.

4.  A spanking session is also a release for you, men, and that is acceptable.  If she has made you angry, it is acceptable to paddle her and release that anger.

5.  You must send her to the corner with her panties down and her bare red bottom exposed.  This is an act of submission that she must do.  If she objects spank her until she is more agreeable.

6.  Kids at home is not a reason to avoid a spanking so don't allow her to use this excuse.  It is the number one excuse women use to get out of being punished.  Get a signal and a quiet tool so the children or guests in your home will not know.  Touch your belt and motion her upstairs or downstairs.  Step into a bathroom and turn on the fan and the shower, or go into the bedroom and lock the door.  Paddle her hard and fast with a silent tool (a hangar works like magic) until she cries.  Reprimand her quietly while you give her a hearty spanking.  If she objects, add to the punishment.  By this I mean, if you cannot spank her longer right then, you tell her she is to come back to this room in thirty minutes for another beating.

7.  Know your list of infractions and hold her accountable for every item on the list.  If she curses, issue a beating immediately.  If she overspends her limit, issue a beating immediately.  If she backtalks or disrespects your authority, pull her pants down right then and there and give her a thrashing.  YOU control whether she succeeds at learning submission.

8.  If you travel as I do, it is harder but not impossible.  The first night you get home, give her a spanking as a reminder of the behavior you expect to see in her.  Impose upon her that she keeps a journal while you are away in which she makes note of her infractions.  Hold her accountable for each one with a solid spanking.

9.  If her behavior slips while in public, take her into a family-style restroom that locks and whip her with your belt.  If a restroom is not available, take her into the parking lot and give her a whipping in the back of the car.  Even the smallest of cars can accommodate a spanking.  If you are unable to take care of it right at the moment, tell her privately that when you are alone in the car or at home that she is to take down her pants and remind you that she has earned a punishment spanking.  If you put the burden of remembering on her, it will impact her that much more.

10.  You cannot spank your wife too much or too often.  The worst mistake is to make her feel like you don't care and the way in which you do that is to stop holding her accountable.  Her bottom should bare your handprint or the marks of your belt 24/7.

Good luck, gents!

Hard to Sit Down

I was too exhausted to get back on the computer and blog yesterday after my spanking and my husband was compassionate enough to let me out of it.  Trust me when I say I will NEVER lie to him or hide anything from him again.  I am amazed that my bottom isn't bruised because he used every tool we own on it.  I was sent to the corner several times during the process, bent over his knee, over the side of the bed, over the back of a chair and finally had to touch my toes for a solid strapping.  That's my least favorite position.

But, I apologized and he forgave me.  Clean slate!  It feels so good to not carry around a secret that eats away at the inside and makes me all jumpy and paranoid.  That's a horrible feeling and a terrible way to live day in and day out.  Even though I got my butt beaten and it's honestly a little hard to sit down today, I feel better and my husband and I are closer than we've ever been before.

That's the thing about domestic discipline that most people don't "get."  They are quick to judge it as kinky or abusive or wrong, but they don't see the upside.  When I do something I shouldn't, he holds me accountable, and that accountability makes me a better person because I am less likely to make the same mistakes over and over again, especially when I know the consequences.  AND it helps him release frustration and extend forgiveness.  Sometimes in marriage couples bury problems because they're too hard to talk about or too scary to face.  With domestic discipline, the balance of submission and dominance helps couples face those issues together, as a united team and not as two people pitted against one another.  It's a beautiful balance that most people don't understand because they can't get past the weirdness of it.  It's not mainstream but if it were, maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be so high.

I know I am loved when my husband takes the time to notice my actions and hold me accountable, but it's not just about misbehaving or correcting mistakes.  Sometimes women need an emotional release and being put over her loving partner's knee opens the flood gates and provides that release.  Just having my husband look at me and instinctively know when I am all bottled up inside and knotted and tense, and then have him take the time to teach me submission and spank me when needed is an enormous action of love.  Likewise, there are times when I know he has had a bad day and is on edge and sometimes I will crawl over his lap, offering up my bottom as a sacrificial reliever of his stress.  Those spankings are never as hard as punishment spankings, but hard enough to release his tension and then they always result in us ravaging each other's bodies, which is stress release alone.

Sometimes he spanks me because I have done something wrong and deserve to be punished, like yesterday; and sometimes he spanks me because I need to be reminded of my submissive nature and to keep the submission/dominance balance, and other times he spanks me because we both need it.  But whenever he spanks me, it is always out of love and because we are working together to make our relationship be the very best it can be.

I am thankful that I have a man in my life who is strong enough to hold the reigns for me and keep us on course.  I don't know what I would do without him.

It's a New Year!

The holiday season has been hectic and crazy for me, but I do have some stories to share, one in particular involving a brand new hair brush I received for Christmas.  I'll try to start posting again this week.  I hope everyone had a spanking good Christmas and New Years and that your resolutions, like mine, are effective and prosperous.

Ouch!

 

Another spanking on an already red bottom..........

 

 

Reading and Writhing

I had a long to-do list to get done today and I lost motivation about half way thru.  I thought I'd just read for about twenty minutes, you know, take a break and relax, but twenty minutes turned into two hours.  I've been reading this action mafia series about a young woman who becomes boss of her family.  I get sucked into the story and time just flies away.

Anyway, my husband asked me to get back to work three times but I sort of ignored him and kept reading.  I wasn't trying to disobey, I just kept thinking, one more chapter, one more chapter.  The book is THAT good.  In fact, I'm thinking about writing to the author and telling her that it is so good it got me into trouble.  After the third time, he swooped the book out of my hand, turned me over the end of the couch, pulled down my jeans and panties and gave me a hard walloping WITH THE BOOK!  Thank God it's a paperback that's all I have to say.  Seriously, though, the whole time he spanked me he told me that I was to obey his request the first time, not ignore him three times.  I couldn't argue with that.  Once he had my attention, he took off his belt and punished me hard until I cried and apologized.

Then he told me that he would finish my punishment tonight.  Now I have to anticipate the rest of it all day.  That's the worst.  Every time I see him in his office or in the kitchen, being put over his knee is the first thing that pops into my mind and I get all flushed.  I know he's going to paddle me hard too and then he'll send me to the corner and probably spank me even after corner time.  Sometimes he does that to really drive home his point.

Was the book worth it?  Yes, but next time I'm not going to ignore him.  Lesson learned.  I'll be reading without the writhing. 

Men MUST Give Mandatory Spankings

It's hard to maintain consistency when we have such a busy schedule and especially when my husband is out of town during most weeks.  Sometimes we get to put in one solid week of submission training and I can really tell a difference in how I feel and how our marriage is during those weeks that he's home. 

A spanking keeps me in line, and it keeps most women in line although the mainstream is afraid to face it or admit it.  At first it feels embarrassing to say you need to be spanked, but after a while you realize there's no shame in it.  Men are leaders and that doesn't mean women can't lead, but it means that we are designed to co-lead with the man.

Women have a whole lot more hormonal and emotional things happening in their bodies and minds than men do.  I don't know about you but sometimes I can't even control my emotions.  Sometimes I feel sad for no reason or irritable for no reason and that's when a being brought over his knee helps to refocus my energy and bring me to a happier place.

If I go a few days without being held accountable I start to use bad language, I get a negative outlook, I get crabby and hateful and angry, and then I end up getting a hard punishment lashing instead of the normal daily maintenance.  I'd rather have the daily discipline than the punishment one any day of the week. 

My bum is an instrument of peace in our marriage.  When my husband is angry with me, we don't have to fight, he simply pulls down my pants and gives me a spanking, during which he releases his anger and I submit and the argument dies right there.

Being spanked is a stress release for a woman, especially if you paddle her until she cries.  Making her cry might seem mean at first, but it isn't, it's opening the dam of her emotions and helping her release it all.  Sometimes women just need to cry and then the world is a better place.  Sometimes it takes a man's belt on her bare ass to provide that release.

Men, women need rules because rules make us feel protected and safe.  Also, when we break a rule we need immediate consequences because that makes us feel noticed and loved.  There is nothing worse in a woman's heart than if she feels unnoticed, uncared for or unloved.  The worse times in our marriage have been when I've felt ignored by him or less important than other people or other things or like he was neglecting what was important to me.  Those are big danger areas for a woman and men need to be able to recognize those areas and fix what needs to be fixed.  Sometimes just getting on a routine discipline schedule will fill in the gaps and show her how much she is loved.

Men, be ready for your woman to test you out in public with her words or attitude.  She may not even consciously know it, but this is a test.  She wants to see if you will be strong enough to hold the reigns and follow through on your rules.  It isn't always possible to discipline in public, but if the opportunity is there, take it.  It will make a huge difference in your marriage.  If you're out at a movie or a restaurant and there is a designated "family restroom" that is one room with a locked door, take your wife in there, lock the door, bend her over the sink and give her a belting or a hand spanking.  If you are driving, pull into a secluded spot, open both the front and back door on one side of the car, bend your wife over the back seat so that the view is blocked by both doors and give her a hard paddling.  I know of men who have taken their wife out to the parking lot, sat in the backseat of their cars with their wife over their knee and given them a walloping without anyone knowing.  There are ways to make it happen when it needs to.  At the very least, if you cannot make it happen, take her by the arm and whisper in her ear that she is going to get it when you get home.  Let her anticipate the spanking for the rest of the evening and then upon arriving home, administer it immediately.

By making her spanking a priority in your life, you are making HER a priority.  By caring enough to enforce the rules, you are telling her that you care enough about HER to make her feel safe and protected.  It all begins with your hand on her backside in a consistent and permeating way.

So, if you have an inconsistent pattern, this is what you need to do:

1.  Mandatory spanking every morning and every evening that you are together.  This MUST happen without fail.  Make time for it.  Do this for a period of 14 days total if your weeks are broken up with travel or two weeks consistently if you are both home.

2.  Seven of these 14 days she must exercise an attitude of submission by coming to her husband and asking to receive a spanking.  This is in addition to the regular morning and evening sessions.  Whenever you are together, for lunch, the middle of the night, it doesn't matter when, the wife must exhibit submission by going to the husband, taking off her clothes and asking him to discipline her.  She may bring him a tool or he may use his hand, take off his belt, a spatula, ping pong paddle, hairbrush, whatever is at his disposal. 

3.  Prior to the morning and evening session, the wife must be given anticipation and reflection time.  This is time naked and either in the corner or in spanking position, reflecting on her behavior and anticipating the discipline he is about to administer.  It doesn't have to be a long period of time, 1-3 minutes is adequate.

4.  Spankings must be long and hard to be effective.  If her bottom isn't bright red and burning hot then it is not going to be effective.  Hard, fast swats get the point across the quickest. 

After 14 days she should hurt to sit down.  Her bottom should be sore but her heart will be warm and so will your marriage. 

 

Spank the Stress Away

I can get pretty cranky and sometimes I just get upset and mad and I stay that way.  It makes me hate myself really.  I’ve been in a mood lately and my hubby got tired of it.  But before he could even punish me for my sour outlook I burst into tears.  I didn’t do it on purpose, even though I know that makes it harder on him to punish me.  We talked and decided that I need help controlling my emotions, especially when I’m frustrated and angry.  Anytime I’m mad I fight being spanked even to the point of kicking him, which results in a longer, harder beating ultimately.  I don’t know why I do it, but sometimes the anger gets the best of me.  We decided that controlling my emotions was going to be top of my list for a while and he is going to help me by putting in place some small steps of stress release and submission.

 

You guys all know that submission and stress go hand in hand.  It’s almost impossible for an upset, agitated and stressed out woman to easily submit her bottom for a paddling.  We’re not wired this way, but there are things that help us submit easier and with less of a fight.  These things have to be done consistently or it’s a waste of time and effort.

 

Here’s what has worked wonders for us.  I’m happier and more peaceful and I sleep better and feel less stress in my life.  I know it will work for you if you take the time and make it a priority in your marriage.

 

Step 1:  Every morning, either before work or after taking the kids to school, before your day gets started, the wife strips completely naked and lies on the bed with her bottom exposed.  This is similar to corner time, only she is lying down, exposed and awaiting a whipping.  This gives her time to think about her mindset, her emotions, her attitude and her behavior.  She should lay in this position a minimum of 3-5 minutes, enough to let the upcoming discipline sink in and let her insides get tingly with anticipation.

 

 

 

Step 2:  The husband needs to stand where the wife can see him.  He should be holding his belt and address her, explaining to her that he is going to give her a belt spanking (one of the most painful) to relieve the stress that builds up inside of her and causes her to misbehave, feel embittered and angry.  This spanking will be to tears which means he will not let up until his wife is sobbing and sorrowful.  The stress is not released until the woman breaks down emotionally.  My husband had trouble with this the first few times because I was stubborn and it took me a while to cry, now I cry easily.  A belt spanking should cause her to cry somewhere between 25 and 200 lashes depending on how stubborn she is.

 

Step 3:  Send her to the corner immediately without any sex play.  Her pussy will be hot and wet from the anticipation of sex and from the sensation of your authority, but it’s important that you don’t have sex yet.  She needs time to think about the spanking and to process in her mind why she was whipped and allow it to shape her attitude moving forward.   This is a very important step.  Anytime my husband didn’t send me to the corner after a beating, the message didn’t sink in.  A woman needs time to be introspective and apply the discipline to her behavior.

 

Step 4:  Engage in sex play if you both want but with the understanding that her beating is only half way done and that after she orgasms you’re going to finish the whipping.  This is important for her to hear and to know that this is not a game to the husband.  She needs to understand that she is not being spanked as a form of foreplay but as a strict discipline related to her attitude and behavior.  Nothing proves that more than a whipping right after you have both peaked.  Before you have sex, tell her she will be getting another spanking immediately following.  She might not believe you but you’ll prove it to her.

 

Step 5:  As soon as the sex is done, have her place the palms of her hands on top of the bed or desk or dresser and protrude her bottom outward.  Give her at least 25 more lashings with the belt and talk through each lashing.  Example:  “This is for being cranky at home.”  Lash 1.  “This is for using foul language out of anger.”  Lash 2.   “This is for a negative attitude.”  Lash 3.  She needs your verbal proclamation of her misbehavior in order to make a solid connection in her mind that this is what happens when she behaves this way. 

 

Before bedtime it is very important that you follow this procedure again only you can substitute the belt for a quieter tool if you have others in the home who might overhear.  If you want to see changes in the wife’s behavior she must be paddled first thing in the morning and last thing at night.  Do this for two weeks and then you will be able to taper it down to once or twice a week.

 

I promise it works. I’ve been feeling light and free and our home has been peaceful and our marriage has been incredibly wonderful.  Spank that stress away, it’s good for your heart too!

Great Spanking Pics

Some wonderful pics: