Friday, February 26, 2016

My Infraction List - About to Get a BIG ONE

I'm sitting here with my panties off, waiting for a spanking that I know will be a long and painful one. I also know I've earned it.



Part of my discipline is to write down all of the reasons why I need to be disciplined and today he asked me to write those reasons into my blog.  So here goes:

1.  My language has been foul even in front of other people and I know that is forbidden.  I know I have the power to choose my own words and when I drop the F word it is a choice I am making and that choice comes with consequences.  My bottom is going to pay the price this morning.

2. I haven't been good at exercising and I've asked him to help me stay on track.  When I get lazy with my body I know I have earned a solid lashing to remind me to take care of myself.

3.  I have had a very negative attitude recently and I know I am due for an attitude adjustment in the form of a paddling.

4.  I've been disrespectful and even hurtful to my husband and I don't want to treat him that way.  I know that going over his knee will remind me that he is on my side and he deserves my respect.

5.  Jealousy.  There's this woman at his work that likes to flirt with him.  It's harmless and I know he won't do anything but it bothers me and sometimes I let my mind run away with me.  This week I accused him of flirting with her, which he didn't really do.

The waiting is the worst part.  He'll come in with that look on his face and we'll talk about all of these things.  It's hard to look him in the eyes and discuss the fact that I'm going to receive a spanking.  Even after all of this time I get embarrassed and humiliated, but I know that I am better when he disciplines me.  I feel better.  I get a sense of release and a calmness and I feel his love when he takes action.  I know it isn't always easy on him to punish me, but he does it anyway because he knows it makes me and us better and for that I adore him.

I've just been told to sign off and bend over the bed with my bare bottom exposed and think about my forthcoming punishment, so I have to go.




Thursday, January 7, 2016

Top Ten Tips to Make Your New Year a Spanking Success



Happy New Year DD friends!

We hope the new year will bring you resolutions of good behavior and when the behavior slips, we hope you will have good discipline in tact to provide stability in your home.  May you have more maintenance and less punishment spankings this year.

We decided to start 2016 off with some important information about how to bring balance and keep balance in your home.



Follow these steps and we guarantee you will find harmony in your relationship:

1.      1.  Sit down with your partner and write in a maintenance spanking schedule on your calendar.  If it is in writing it will be that much easier to stick to.  **This is especially important for couples who spend a lot of time apart due to their careers.  Choose the date and time and then stick to it. 

2.      2.   Re-evaluate your improvement list and add to it any new resolutions you have made.

3.       3.  Assign a punishment value to every item on the list.  **We have found that this is highly effective in deterring mis-behavior.  i.e. if she knows that ignoring her exercise plan will result in a consistent outpouring of 50 lashes with the cane, she will be more prone to make the choice to do the exercise.
 
4.       4.  Also assign a position to the list.  Your list might look something like this:

Cursing                                 -              25 swats with belt for each curse word           -      OTK
Attitude               -              50 swats with the hairbrush for each occurrence     -   Bent over bed
Exercise               -              50 caning swats     -   Standing with fingers locked behind head
Maintenance     -              10 minute hand spanking   -  OTK
Over-spending  -
Lying                   -
Adultery             -

And so on and so forth.  The new year is the time to assign new values and new positions and then commit yourself to stick to them.

5.       5.  Corner time is a MUST and you need to re-commit to enforcing it.  **Some women are opposed to corner time because they feel it is humiliating so derive an alternative.  A very effective alternative is to have her lie naked over the edge of the bed with her bottom exposed and write down why she is about to be punished and how she can avoid punishment in the future. This is less humiliating for the woman and it allows her to visually process her behavior as she writes it down.  It also gives the husband something to review with her before he begins the discipline session.

6.       6.  Get rid of the excuses!  **The biggest excuse we hear is that couples are rarely alone to execute punishment when needed.  This is fixable with a commitment from both parties.  If there are people in your home when punishment is earned, then leave your home.  Drive to a vacant parking lot, a vacant road, climb into the backseat and provide the discipline that is needed.  Don’t allow yourself to make excuses.  **If children are in the home, pretend to take a shower, turn on the water, the bathroom fan, lock the doors, provide a pillow for the partner being punished to cry into and use a silent tool.  It CAN be done and it MUST be done!

7.      7.   Guilt-Release Session   **We are learning more and more that women carry more guilt than men.  With regards to day-to-day issues men are able to release guilt faster and easier than women.  So, gents, it is your responsibility to help bring your wife or partner relief from the guilt she is experiencing and there’s no better time than the new year to start things off right!

WHAT A GUILT-RELEASE SESSION LOOKS LIKE
a.        The wife writes down a list of all of the things she feels guilty about.  This list might be day-to-day things, people she’s let down, mistakes she’s made in the past or present, etc.  Every woman is different and her list will be unique to her life experiences.
b.      Sit down together and read the list.  This is not a time for judgment or a time to argue that she should or should not feel the way she feels.  If an item is on the list, she is feeling guilty about it, and thusly it must be addressed in order for her to feel relief.  **Many women will cry just in sharing the list because they have a great amount of shame or humiliation attached to the issues they have written down.  This is normal and not an indication that they do not want to follow-through with the session.
c.       Depending on the length of the list, it may need to be broken down into more than one session.  This is permissible, but try to keep the sessions all in the same day.  i.e. one in the morning, one in the afternoon, one in the evening.
d.      Assign a punishment value to each item and write those next to the item.
e.      During the session, eye-contact is extremely important for two reasons:  1) Looking you in the eyes as you discuss the item makes her take full ownership in it.    2) Looking you in the eyes allows her to see your forgiveness and your unconditional love for her.  It makes her feel secure that even in her worse offense, you will not allow her to destroy the relationship. Your strength will bring your relationship back to a place of balance.
f.        Address each item verbally first and then administer the punishment.  **Sometimes an item prompts questions like, “what were you thinking?” or “why would you do that?”  This is okay.  Husbands will often encounter an item on her list that arises feelings of anger in them and that is acceptable.  Putting her over your knee is a means of cleansing both of you, acknowledging the anger she has made you feel and punishing her for the behavior, ultimately restoring balance in the relationship.

8.       8.  She must be naked during a discipline session.  **Couples try to squirm around this one but it is crucial to the success of DD.  Her nakedness is a symbol of her submission to you and of stripping down all exterior factors that stand between you. 

9.       9.  Immediate Punishment is of the utmost important because it is what builds her trust in your ability to lead the home.  **Men, you must prove to her that your word is true and thusly you must do what you say you are going to do.  The more she trusts your follow-through, the quicker she will learn to submit to you and the more peaceful your relationship will be.

1    10. Alone time after a punishment session is needed for at least 3-5 minutes for her to process her behavior and your strength in correcting her.  After the time has lapsed, come back to her and then be affectionate.  **We are learning more and more that immediate sexual gratification is inhibiting the dominant-submissive connection, but adding in affection after a short time of reflection strengthens the connection.



That’s it!  Your top ten new year’s resolutions to start the year off aces!

This message was sent to our newsletter patrons as well but we thought it was helpful and wanted to share with everyone!  Happy New Year!

P.S.  Now, I'm off to get a spanking for being 6 days late at getting the newsletter out.  He asked me three times to get it down and I kept procrastinating.  I am sorry for my delay and I know in about 15 minutes I'm going to be a whole lot sorrier.  He's already laid his belt across the chair and my stomach is trembling with anticipation.  This will be my first punishment spanking of 2016 and I'm certain he's going to make it leave a lasting impression.  

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Never Hide a Credit Card Bill

My husband came home today and I knew right away that he was upset.  I had spent a lot of money, more than I should have and I usually give him a head's up but I purposefully didn't.  Instead, I waited the couple weeks for the next bill to come.  It had come in the mail this morning, so I wasn't surprised when he approached me in the kitchen with it in his hand.

I said I was sorry and he said that it was nice to hear but that I wasn't nearly as sorry as I was about to be.  Then he unbuckled his belt and slid the leather through the loops, winding it around his right hand.

"Take down your pants and bend over the counter," he said.

My stomach got that hollow feeling and I started to speak but he said, "Heather, you spent too much and then you tried to hide it from me.  Now, take down your pants and bend over the counter."

I knew he was right. I was busted but I so didn't want a spanking.  I stood frozen, with my fingers on the button of my jeans.

"For every second you wait, I'm adding 20 swats," he said.

I got undressed more quickly and bend over the counter so my butt was exposed.  I gripped the top of the counter and waited for the first stinging swat.

It came quickly and he lectured me as he issued 65 swats across my bare butt.

"Corner," he said and pointed.  He then told me to take off my blouse and bra and stand there naked.

I stood there for almost 5 minutes and then he told me to bend over his knees on the couch.  I was already crying when I crawled across his lap for a hard, hard hand-spanking that left me sobbing and repenting.

I promised I would never hide a bill from him again. And I won't.  I'll think about this spanking before I even use my credit card again!

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Another Spanking Site

I wanted to share another great discipline site with you.  I don't know the owner of the site personally, but they seem to have a fine handle on the art of discipline.  I particularly related to the article about the plastic hanger because I've had a plastic hanger across my bottom on more than one occasion.  In fact, my hubbie travels with one in his suitcase just in case he needs to pull me aside and give me a sound, but quiet whipping.

Here's the link:  http://ispankmywife.blogspot.com/2012/03/quite-and-effective-spanking.html

Enjoy!

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Waiting

I'm waiting for a spanking and I know he'll be in here any minute.  The waiting is the worst.  I know what's coming and I know I've earned it but I still get nervous.  We skipped the normal maintenance spanking this morning because we were pressed for time.  It showed in my attitude, which he commented on when he pointed to our bedroom with a stern look.  It was the look that said, "go pull down your pants and wait."  So, here I sit with my bare bottom tensed against my chair, writing about what is about to come.  I imagine I'll get the belt and a hand spanking.  He usually warms me up with his hand first.  My stomach is fluttery with nerves.

I hear him coming this way now.


Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Cleansing Workshop - MUST DO!

This summer my husband and I began a cleansing, which we have read and heard is essential at creating a solid marital bond and in growing and moving forward in the dominant/submissive relationship.  It was a phenomenal experience and I want to encourage all of you to do this.  It's painful both outwardly and inwardly but it has brought us so much closer together.  It is worth the work.


Submission is an act of letting go and trusting that the other person knows what is best and what is needed.  It is an act of confessing to the need to be disciplined and allowing it to occur.  It's hard but often times a woman can't submit because there are old things, past things, blocking her.  Often times these are subconscious but sometimes they are things that have a great deal of power over the female psyche.  For example, a past sin can keep a woman from presently submitting because subconsciously she feels she doesn't deserve to receive a clean slate for her actions.  These past things must be addressed for her to move forward.


They can be as simple as telling a little white lie, to having a full blown affair.  No matter how complicated the sinful past, the husband must address it, punish her for it, and then help her move on from it.


In a submission workshop I attended, we learned about a woman that had had sexual feelings for one of her husband's coworkers and she felt guilty even though it had been years ago and she never acted on those feelings.  The workshop leaders, an established DD couple, explained how this woman was being held back by her feelings of guilt and not allowing herself to embrace submission or a clean slate from her husband. They recommended a cleansing program, wherein she confessed her indiscretion and guilt to her husband and he punished her and then offered her forgiveness.  The woman gave a testimonial that it was so freeing that it changed their relationship for the better and now she submits to him without hesitation.


Others had bigger sins in their pasts, but the formula for revival was the same.  That's what I want to share with you.  My husband and I did this over the summer and we are in a much better place.  It works and I don't think a DD relationship can move forward without it.


Step 1:  Sit down together and talk about this.  If she is having trouble submitting, discuss whether or not this could be the problem; especially if there have been indiscretions in the past.


Step 2:  She must be willing to ask you to punish her for her past sins.


Step 3:  She must be willing to write down those sins and to work through them one by one.


Example:  On day one, you deal with the first issue on the list.  On day two, the second issue and so forth.


Step 4:  An agreed upon punishment must be laid out AHEAD OF TIME.  For example:  For lying, it is one spanking with one implement.  The severity of the spanking depends upon the severity of the lie.


For an affair, it is a full two days of punishment, involving 3-5 spankings each day with several implements and corner time necessary for her to think about what she has done, her punishment and the offering of forgiveness and acceptance.


Step 5:  The agreement is put into writing.  "I, Sally, am asking, John, to help me overcome my past mistakes and teach me submission by confessing my indiscretion of sleeping with your coworker, admitting it was wrong and shameful, and asking you to punish me so that I can forgive myself and accept your forgiveness and be cleansed.  I agree to a two day punishment of 6-10 spankings, corner time and anything you feel necessary to help me learn submission."   


Step 6:  Follow through is essential and must be done.  The punishment sessions must be hard and long and more intense than anything you have experienced together.  If she is not sobbing beneath your whipping, you have failed her.  Part of the cleansing comes with the tears.


Step 7:  Punishment sessions must be done naked.


Step 8:  Punishment sessions must be consecutive days.


You will see a new life in yourself and your wife if you do this.  I guarantee it.  She may not know she needs this from you, but she desperately needs it and she will thank you for it when it is all over.  You will have proven you are stronger than any of her sins and that your love for her is dominant over all other factors in this world.  When she sees this and feels it on her bottom and believes it in her heart, submission will come easily.


Start this today!!!

Attitude Adjustment OUCH

I'm sitting at my computer with a very red bottom and I'll tell you why.  I've been in a mood lately and my husband finally had enough.  This morning I was in the kitchen and he looked at me and without saying a word, he took me by the hand, led me into the downstairs guest room and instructed me to bend over the side of the chair.  When I asked why, he told me I could think about that while he spanked my bottom.  I didn't really need to think about it, I knew exactly why I was getting a spanking and I knew it was deserved.





He pulled my panties down and raised my nightshirt up so my butt was completely exposed. Then he pulled out a wooden spoon he had taken from the kitchen and paddled me hard.  It stung and I cried out but that only made him paddle faster and harder.  When he stopped I could feel my butt stinging.






"Are you sorry?"  He asked.
"Yes," I cried.
"Not as sorry as you're about to be," he said and then gave me twenty-five more fast, hard smacks with the spoon.


"Go stand in the corner," he said and I got up and went there.  I could hear him leave the room and come back carrying his discipline tools.  Right then I knew I was in for a beating.  "Lay on your back on the bed and put your legs into the air," he said.  "I want you to look me in the eyes while we address this issue."






I hate that and he knows it.  I cry everytime he does it because it's humiliating to have to look at him while he punishes me, especially when I know I deserve what I'm getting.  Still, having to look him in the face while he paddles my bottom is embarrassing.





I laid down and he took the wooden paddle and gave me a smack.  When I closed my eyes he ordered me to look at him.  "What did you do to deserve this?"




"I talked myself down," I answered because I knew what the paddle was for.


He paddled me several times with his eyes locked on mine.  He reminded me that I'm beautiful and should treat myself better.  He said that he will not hesitate to punish me every time I say something negative about myself.  Fifty swats in total and I was balling.






After that, he sent me back to the corner and instructed me to place my hands on my thighs, but not to touch myself.  I was super wet and on the verge of cumming already and holding my hands so close to myself made me want to touch myself that much more.  He knew it and this was a lesson in submission and obedience.




"Please?"  I said and inched my index finger over toward my pussy.




His answer was a swift swat on my ass with his hand.  "I said no," he told me and he let me suffer there for over a minute, until I felt like I was going to explode.


Then he moved me to the bed and bent me over his knee where he gave me a hard hand spanking.  He reached his hand from behind and fingered me until I came, which didn't take but a few seconds.  Once I came, he slid me from his lap to the side of the bed and took his belt and whipped me for my attitude, which had been really terrible the past few days.  The whipping stung bad and I finally broke down and cried.  He knows that once I orgasm, the punishment is taken much more seriously.  The sexual tension is gone and the discipline is driven home.  He whipped me over sixty lashes, that was when I lost count anyway.






When he was done, he held me and I immediately slid to my knees and gave him a blow job.  I don't know what it is about his authority but it makes me want to please him in ways I can't even explain. 






After he came and we cleaned up, he held me for a few moments and then told me it was time for us to go back to boot camp.  That's where I get a spanking one to three times every day for 5 consecutive days.  I started to cry because my bottom was so sore and I didn't want to go through boot camp. but I know that it works and that I am a better person when he holds me accountable.  I need him to discipline me when I can't hold myself in check.  I respect him for having the strength of character to know when I need it and to be able to teach me submission.  So, I am sore but in a much better place emotionally and mentally.