Showing posts with label Domestic Discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Domestic Discipline. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 21, 2018
Monday, July 24, 2017
It Will Save Your Marriage
We got a lot of emails asking us to outline our DD methods and what works best. We're happy to share what we do but you need to know that what works for one couple might not be the right tactic for another. You have to be willing to try new things and change things that aren't working.
TIPS
The trick to submission and dominance is consistency. When consistency fails, the whole thing breaks down. The woman starts to feel unloved, unwanted and unnoticed. She begins to harbor resentment and sadness and anger toward her husband. He feels this change and becomes defensive because he doesn't understand why she is behaving this way toward him. It can quickly become a dark spiral of marital turmoil. So if you are going to commit to a DD relationship, you have to have a solid commitment from both partners in order for both partners to reap the benefits.
HER BENEFITS BY BEING SUBMISSIVE
Submission to the man she loves makes her feel loved and gives her the freedom to relinquish her heart completely to him, trusting him with every element of their lives. When she knows that she no longer has the power to destroy the marriage, she relaxes and becomes a being that is peace-filled and stable. He holds the reins and this allows her to rest in his love. If she misbehaves, or does something that could be damaging to the marriage, he will hold her accountable. There will be restitution and resolution through her submission. It gives her a feeling of safety. It is an unbelievable feeling when the man you love will take you over his knee to clean the slate, save you from yourself and ultimately protect the marriage.
HIS BENEFITS BY BEING DOMINANT
Men were designed to be the dominant partner. They are the protector and provider and defender by nature. Dominance isn't about power but about love. It can be difficult to punish the woman you love, especially when you know that spanking her bottom brings physical pain. It takes great strength to be the dominant male. In taking the woman he loves over his knee and helping her to shape her behavior, he gains the security of knowing her love is so deep and her trust in him so mighty that she will submit her body to him. One body, one flesh. When he disciplines her, he shapes the marriage as well, forcing turmoil away and opening the doorway for peace in their home and their hearts. He gains the security of her love.
Fewer couples who participate in DD end up in divorce. The divorce rate for couples is over 55% in the US and Britain. For DD couples it is under 10%. In additional, fewer DD couples engage in extra-marital affairs than other couples. They also fight less about money and statistically engage in sexual activity more frequently. Bringing the balance of submission and dominance into your marriage is relationship altering and the equivalent of marital salvation. It brings the male-female nature into harmony. DD is not about beating your wife into submission. It is about finding a pathway toward submission together. It is not about power but about offering each other an exchange of unconditional love. It is a love that no matter the infraction, it can prevail. No matter the pain, it can overcome. It gives partners the security and safety every marriage needs.
BOOT CAMP
Start and re-start your marriage with a boot camp. Boot camp is a step-by-step guide to submission and it is crucial in getting the mindset right and bringing your marriage into balance.
We recommend a 3-4 day short boot camp that looks something like this:
Day 1:
a) Upon waking up, husband needs to inform his wife that she will be receiving a spanking at such and such a time and give her instructions. (i.e. at 9:50am remove all of your clothing and stand in the corner reflecting on what infractions you will be punished for going forward. At 9:55am, bring all of the tools downstairs and bend over the couch. At 10:00am we will discuss each item and give a sample whipping for each.) Spanking should be long, hard and include many instruments. You are setting the tone for what is expected. Example: If you lie to me, you will receive a minimum of 50 lashes with the cane. Issue that punishment so your expectations and the consequences are clear. Do this with each item and assign a tool to it. She mush be spanked to tears for the message to get through. If she is not crying, you are not doing it hard or long or fast enough. When the session is finished, send her back to the corner for a minimum of 3 minutes. Do not make love or be intimate until she has had corner time to process the meaning of her actions and the resulting consequences. When the 3 minutes is up then you may indulge in intimacy in any way you like.
b) In the afternoon, give her a spontaneous hard hand-spanking (minimum of 100-150 swats) Explain to her that you will always be watching and you will be quick to respond with punishment if her behavior warrants it.
c) Before bedtime talk with her about how important an attitude of submission is to the success of your marriage. Tell her what you expect and the things you will not tolerate. Take off her clothing, have her lie on her back, raise her legs into the air so that you and she are looking at each other and her bottom is exposed to you, and give her a hard, fast, hand spanking while maintaining eye contact. This lets her know that you see her, all of her, the good and the bad, that you love her for who she is, that she needn't ever hide anything from you. This eye contact while you are spanking her is a very important step in her being able to trust you. Submission is built on trust so she must see that you will look her in the face even when she has done something wrong and love her enough to relieve her of the guilt and shame by punishing her. Again, spank her to tears and then share in intimacy and hold each other through the night.
Day 2:
Use similar techniques for Day 2, except instead of focusing on the behaviors that will bring on punishment, focus on past behaviors for which she believes she needs to atone. Common ones are lies, past fights, inappropriate flirtations, infidelity, manipulations, etc. Address these without anger or blaming or fighting. She must tell you what each one is and then one-by-one in separate sessions throughout the day and night, you clean whatever it is from her slate. This allows her to forgive herself once and for all and to put the shame away. These sessions can be emotional and they must be to tears.
Day 3:
Use similar techniques from Day 2, except today is about you and your feelings and clearing your slate from the frustrations and pain of the past. Some of those things might be the same things that she mentioned yesterday and some may be applicable only to you. Address each one and express how they made you feel. One-by-one in separate sessions throughout the day and night allow her to come to you and offer herself for the sake of your restitution. She must bare herself as a gift to you, giving her body for your cleansing and the cleansing of the marriage. If Day 1 and Day 2 have gone well, this will be something she desperately wants to do. These spankings are true punishment for her and healing for you. Example: if she has wronged you with infidelity, you owe it to her and to yourself to free yourself of those emotions once and for all, even when you have buried them deep and put them away. Allow them to resurface and instead of using hateful words that will demean and crush the marriage, use your belt safely and sternly across her bottom to say what you feel and reveal a cleansed and renewed bond. This is a difficult day for husbands because it entails tapping into your emotions and then letting them out. But, when you do this, it will free your mind and unburden your heart in ways you never imagined.
After boot camp, it is important that you develop a consistent and constant schedule of discipline. A daily reminder spanking is the best, most successful route. If you can't do that, then work out a schedule to be able to do it on days when you are together. Get a spanking machine and watch via skype or facetime if needed. Teach self-spanking if that is a viable option with your spouse. If you travel a lot like me, your wife's bottom should be bright red every day you are home to make up for the days you are gone. It is your duty. Have her chart or write nightly to you, defining any infractions so that you can cater the machine to issue a punishment in your absence or so that you can design a punishment strategy for when you arrive home. Be willing to alter the schedule when needed.
IMPORTANT: Sometime after boot camp, spank her in public. Not in front of other people but in a public place so that she knows that just because you are in public it doesn't mean you aren't willing and ready to take her over your knee. If you're on the road, pull over at a private spot, have her bend over the back seat with her bare bottom exposed and give her a hard hand spanking. If you are in a restaurant or mall, go to the bathroom, take off your belt and give her a strapping she won't forget. At a friend or relative's house, take her discreetly into the bathroom, bend her over the sink and whip her with a belt or a plastic hangar or a hair brush handle. It is imperative that she understands that you still hold the reins even in public.
OUR CURRENT SCHEDULE
Mon - Thursday: Heather receives a reminder spanking with the machine in the morning.
Friday - Sunday: Heather receives a reminder spanking from me in the morning.
Friday afternoon: We address any of the infractions she wrote down in her journal that week and discuss what her punishment will be. She stands naked in the corner to reflect on what she will receive.
Friday evening: She receives a punishment session. These can last up to an hour as they include addressing every infraction individually and corner time.
During the weekend Heather receives punishment spankings whenever her behavior warrants it, which is typically two-to-three times per weekend.
Find what works for you and DO IT!
TIPS
The trick to submission and dominance is consistency. When consistency fails, the whole thing breaks down. The woman starts to feel unloved, unwanted and unnoticed. She begins to harbor resentment and sadness and anger toward her husband. He feels this change and becomes defensive because he doesn't understand why she is behaving this way toward him. It can quickly become a dark spiral of marital turmoil. So if you are going to commit to a DD relationship, you have to have a solid commitment from both partners in order for both partners to reap the benefits.
HER BENEFITS BY BEING SUBMISSIVE
HIS BENEFITS BY BEING DOMINANT
Men were designed to be the dominant partner. They are the protector and provider and defender by nature. Dominance isn't about power but about love. It can be difficult to punish the woman you love, especially when you know that spanking her bottom brings physical pain. It takes great strength to be the dominant male. In taking the woman he loves over his knee and helping her to shape her behavior, he gains the security of knowing her love is so deep and her trust in him so mighty that she will submit her body to him. One body, one flesh. When he disciplines her, he shapes the marriage as well, forcing turmoil away and opening the doorway for peace in their home and their hearts. He gains the security of her love.
BENEFITS FOR BOTH
BOOT CAMP
Start and re-start your marriage with a boot camp. Boot camp is a step-by-step guide to submission and it is crucial in getting the mindset right and bringing your marriage into balance.
We recommend a 3-4 day short boot camp that looks something like this:
Day 1:
a) Upon waking up, husband needs to inform his wife that she will be receiving a spanking at such and such a time and give her instructions. (i.e. at 9:50am remove all of your clothing and stand in the corner reflecting on what infractions you will be punished for going forward. At 9:55am, bring all of the tools downstairs and bend over the couch. At 10:00am we will discuss each item and give a sample whipping for each.) Spanking should be long, hard and include many instruments. You are setting the tone for what is expected. Example: If you lie to me, you will receive a minimum of 50 lashes with the cane. Issue that punishment so your expectations and the consequences are clear. Do this with each item and assign a tool to it. She mush be spanked to tears for the message to get through. If she is not crying, you are not doing it hard or long or fast enough. When the session is finished, send her back to the corner for a minimum of 3 minutes. Do not make love or be intimate until she has had corner time to process the meaning of her actions and the resulting consequences. When the 3 minutes is up then you may indulge in intimacy in any way you like.
b) In the afternoon, give her a spontaneous hard hand-spanking (minimum of 100-150 swats) Explain to her that you will always be watching and you will be quick to respond with punishment if her behavior warrants it.
c) Before bedtime talk with her about how important an attitude of submission is to the success of your marriage. Tell her what you expect and the things you will not tolerate. Take off her clothing, have her lie on her back, raise her legs into the air so that you and she are looking at each other and her bottom is exposed to you, and give her a hard, fast, hand spanking while maintaining eye contact. This lets her know that you see her, all of her, the good and the bad, that you love her for who she is, that she needn't ever hide anything from you. This eye contact while you are spanking her is a very important step in her being able to trust you. Submission is built on trust so she must see that you will look her in the face even when she has done something wrong and love her enough to relieve her of the guilt and shame by punishing her. Again, spank her to tears and then share in intimacy and hold each other through the night.
Day 2:
Use similar techniques for Day 2, except instead of focusing on the behaviors that will bring on punishment, focus on past behaviors for which she believes she needs to atone. Common ones are lies, past fights, inappropriate flirtations, infidelity, manipulations, etc. Address these without anger or blaming or fighting. She must tell you what each one is and then one-by-one in separate sessions throughout the day and night, you clean whatever it is from her slate. This allows her to forgive herself once and for all and to put the shame away. These sessions can be emotional and they must be to tears.
Day 3:
Use similar techniques from Day 2, except today is about you and your feelings and clearing your slate from the frustrations and pain of the past. Some of those things might be the same things that she mentioned yesterday and some may be applicable only to you. Address each one and express how they made you feel. One-by-one in separate sessions throughout the day and night allow her to come to you and offer herself for the sake of your restitution. She must bare herself as a gift to you, giving her body for your cleansing and the cleansing of the marriage. If Day 1 and Day 2 have gone well, this will be something she desperately wants to do. These spankings are true punishment for her and healing for you. Example: if she has wronged you with infidelity, you owe it to her and to yourself to free yourself of those emotions once and for all, even when you have buried them deep and put them away. Allow them to resurface and instead of using hateful words that will demean and crush the marriage, use your belt safely and sternly across her bottom to say what you feel and reveal a cleansed and renewed bond. This is a difficult day for husbands because it entails tapping into your emotions and then letting them out. But, when you do this, it will free your mind and unburden your heart in ways you never imagined.
After boot camp, it is important that you develop a consistent and constant schedule of discipline. A daily reminder spanking is the best, most successful route. If you can't do that, then work out a schedule to be able to do it on days when you are together. Get a spanking machine and watch via skype or facetime if needed. Teach self-spanking if that is a viable option with your spouse. If you travel a lot like me, your wife's bottom should be bright red every day you are home to make up for the days you are gone. It is your duty. Have her chart or write nightly to you, defining any infractions so that you can cater the machine to issue a punishment in your absence or so that you can design a punishment strategy for when you arrive home. Be willing to alter the schedule when needed.
IMPORTANT: Sometime after boot camp, spank her in public. Not in front of other people but in a public place so that she knows that just because you are in public it doesn't mean you aren't willing and ready to take her over your knee. If you're on the road, pull over at a private spot, have her bend over the back seat with her bare bottom exposed and give her a hard hand spanking. If you are in a restaurant or mall, go to the bathroom, take off your belt and give her a strapping she won't forget. At a friend or relative's house, take her discreetly into the bathroom, bend her over the sink and whip her with a belt or a plastic hangar or a hair brush handle. It is imperative that she understands that you still hold the reins even in public.
OUR CURRENT SCHEDULE
Mon - Thursday: Heather receives a reminder spanking with the machine in the morning.
Friday - Sunday: Heather receives a reminder spanking from me in the morning.
Friday afternoon: We address any of the infractions she wrote down in her journal that week and discuss what her punishment will be. She stands naked in the corner to reflect on what she will receive.
Friday evening: She receives a punishment session. These can last up to an hour as they include addressing every infraction individually and corner time.
During the weekend Heather receives punishment spankings whenever her behavior warrants it, which is typically two-to-three times per weekend.
Find what works for you and DO IT!
Sometimes We All Need A Little Help
I don't blog as much as I used to because there just isn't enough time and we've been trying some other methods of discipline that don't involve me blogging about every time I am given a whipping. We have tried a lot of things and I want to tell you about the most recent ones that have really worked well for us.
As all of you guys know my hubby travels for work and sometimes works from home in his home office that is in our basement. I've gotten many spankings in his office at home, so much that whenever he calls me down there I get those nerves of anticipation in my belly. Lately, like the past year, he's been traveling over seas more and those are longer trips. It's taken a toll on me and on our marriage in a way because we haven't been as joined together as we used to be. I have gotten lonely sometimes and started doing more stuff with my friends and our neighbors.
Three months ago, my hubby was home and we had some of our neighbors over for dinner and drinks and games. One neighbor, Mitch, I've been hanging out with more often then the others lately and I guess maybe we've been a little more flirty then we should have been. He rubbed his thumb over my shoulder during our card game and my husband noticed it right away. When everybody left for the night, my hubby asked me if I had fucked Mitch. It blew up into a horrible fight and we realized that I was angry at him for being gone so much and he was angry at me for being lonely and needing more attention. He asked me if I wanted to fuck Mitch and though I had never done anything with Mitch, I couldn't deny that his attention felt really good to me. My husband asked me if I had been unfaithful to him? No. I hadn't, not with my body but with my thoughts, maybe I had. I broke down sobbing feeling awful and angry. What was worse was he didn't spank me for my admission of having unfaithful thoughts. He didn't do anything.
Weeks went by and it was awful. I thought our marriage was ending. Then a package came in the mail and he took it downstairs to his office without showing it to me. My mind started to wonder if he was seeing someone on the side and that's why he didn't punish me for having thoughts about Mitch. A few hours later he called me downstairs and told me that he didn't punish me for my thoughts about Mitch because he knew that the way I was feeling was partially his fault. He said he had neglected me and our marriage and had let his work get in the way of our health. He apologized to me and told me how important I was to him and how much he loved me. I couldn't believe it. I was so relieved to hear him take responsibility for us and to hear him acknowledge that he had left me and left our marriage behind to his job. We made love on the couch in his office and it was beautiful.
Afterwards, as I was starting to get dressed, he told me to leave my panties off. I knew immediately what that meant. He was going to spank me. He told me that he was going to discipline me for allowing myself to become flirty with Mitch and for letting myself entertain romantic notions about him. I knew I deserved this punishment. He bent me over the arm of the couch, slid his belt from his pants that were on the floor, and gave me a long, hard whipping. He then sent me to the corner to think about why I allowed myself to be flirty with another man. He then brought me back over to the couch and over his knee where he gave me a hard hand spanking until I cried in his arms, admitting that I knew it was wrong and asking for his forgiveness.
Back to the corner to think about how my actions brought on these consequences. Then he told me to put my hands atop his desk and bend over. I did and awaited the sting of his belt but it didn't come. Instead he sat down in his chair behind his desk, facing me. He pushed a button on a remote and I heard a whirring sound and then felt the slap of a paddle. I looked at him, confused for a moment and then realized that he had placed a spanking machine on the desk. It was set for ten minutes. He folded his arms and watched quietly as I received several more slaps with the paddle. "Every day that I am traveling, you will come down here, take off your panties, bend over my desk and get a spanking to remind you that even when I'm not here, I still care about you, about your behavior and about our marriage." I cried as he spoke.
He set the machine to maximum levels so it would issue a hard spanking every time. I've been using it regularly at his request. I haven't even thought about Mitch or any other man. Sometimes, when I have infractions in other areas and he is gone, he will call me at night, instruct me to go downstairs for my punishment and then stay on the phone talking to me while I get a spanking.
Our marriage is better, we are connected and close again and it's all thanks to a spanking machine. If you or your spouse travels and you've felt the disconnect and the loneliness and haven't been able to discipline or be disciplined the way you know is needed for a healthy marriage, get one of these machines, lay down the rules and obey them. You will be better!
https://www.spankermachine.com/index.php?lang=en
As all of you guys know my hubby travels for work and sometimes works from home in his home office that is in our basement. I've gotten many spankings in his office at home, so much that whenever he calls me down there I get those nerves of anticipation in my belly. Lately, like the past year, he's been traveling over seas more and those are longer trips. It's taken a toll on me and on our marriage in a way because we haven't been as joined together as we used to be. I have gotten lonely sometimes and started doing more stuff with my friends and our neighbors.
Three months ago, my hubby was home and we had some of our neighbors over for dinner and drinks and games. One neighbor, Mitch, I've been hanging out with more often then the others lately and I guess maybe we've been a little more flirty then we should have been. He rubbed his thumb over my shoulder during our card game and my husband noticed it right away. When everybody left for the night, my hubby asked me if I had fucked Mitch. It blew up into a horrible fight and we realized that I was angry at him for being gone so much and he was angry at me for being lonely and needing more attention. He asked me if I wanted to fuck Mitch and though I had never done anything with Mitch, I couldn't deny that his attention felt really good to me. My husband asked me if I had been unfaithful to him? No. I hadn't, not with my body but with my thoughts, maybe I had. I broke down sobbing feeling awful and angry. What was worse was he didn't spank me for my admission of having unfaithful thoughts. He didn't do anything.
Weeks went by and it was awful. I thought our marriage was ending. Then a package came in the mail and he took it downstairs to his office without showing it to me. My mind started to wonder if he was seeing someone on the side and that's why he didn't punish me for having thoughts about Mitch. A few hours later he called me downstairs and told me that he didn't punish me for my thoughts about Mitch because he knew that the way I was feeling was partially his fault. He said he had neglected me and our marriage and had let his work get in the way of our health. He apologized to me and told me how important I was to him and how much he loved me. I couldn't believe it. I was so relieved to hear him take responsibility for us and to hear him acknowledge that he had left me and left our marriage behind to his job. We made love on the couch in his office and it was beautiful.
Afterwards, as I was starting to get dressed, he told me to leave my panties off. I knew immediately what that meant. He was going to spank me. He told me that he was going to discipline me for allowing myself to become flirty with Mitch and for letting myself entertain romantic notions about him. I knew I deserved this punishment. He bent me over the arm of the couch, slid his belt from his pants that were on the floor, and gave me a long, hard whipping. He then sent me to the corner to think about why I allowed myself to be flirty with another man. He then brought me back over to the couch and over his knee where he gave me a hard hand spanking until I cried in his arms, admitting that I knew it was wrong and asking for his forgiveness.
Back to the corner to think about how my actions brought on these consequences. Then he told me to put my hands atop his desk and bend over. I did and awaited the sting of his belt but it didn't come. Instead he sat down in his chair behind his desk, facing me. He pushed a button on a remote and I heard a whirring sound and then felt the slap of a paddle. I looked at him, confused for a moment and then realized that he had placed a spanking machine on the desk. It was set for ten minutes. He folded his arms and watched quietly as I received several more slaps with the paddle. "Every day that I am traveling, you will come down here, take off your panties, bend over my desk and get a spanking to remind you that even when I'm not here, I still care about you, about your behavior and about our marriage." I cried as he spoke.
Our marriage is better, we are connected and close again and it's all thanks to a spanking machine. If you or your spouse travels and you've felt the disconnect and the loneliness and haven't been able to discipline or be disciplined the way you know is needed for a healthy marriage, get one of these machines, lay down the rules and obey them. You will be better!
https://www.spankermachine.com/index.php?lang=en
Monday, February 13, 2017
Waiting
It's been a while since I've blogged but that doesn't mean it's been a while since I've had my bottom spanked. My husband took the pre-spanking blogging requirement off of my list for a while but added it back on today because he said we've been getting a lot of emails requesting the blog to be updated. So here I am writing this while waiting to be disciplined. Actually, I'm waiting to be punished and I know that I've got what's coming.
For the past six or seven months I've really only gotten maintenance spankings with the exception of two instances when I earned a punishment and he gave me a walloping. The first was when I had had too much to drink and I got mouthy with him and with his brother and his wife. We disagreed on some issues that I won't go into here but my hubby wasn't happy with the way I handled myself at dinner. He warned me twice by giving me a look and touching his belt buckle, which is the sign that I am treading on thin ice, but I didn't care. I had drank too much and I was hell bent on saying my piece. He excused us to the bathroom, bent me over the sink and whipped my bare bottom until I was red, sore and apologizing.
The second instance was when I spent too much money on the credit card, which is now a new item added to my list. I knew I had gone overboard but I guess I was hoping he wouldn't notice. When the bill came, he called me to his office in the basement, showed me the charges and then informed me that after the kids were in bed I was going to be punished. That night he took me down to his office, locked the basement door so the kids couldn't come down, took off all of my clothes and had me stand in the corner for 3 minutes. The anticipation was killing me. He then bent me over the top of his desk, and gave me a whipping, first with his belt, then the wooden paddle and then the cane. I was crying when he sent me back to the corner for another 3 minutes to think about why I was being punished. After that, he put me over his knee and spanked me long and hard until I sobbed. I was crying more from the embarrassment of earning the punishment than from physical pain, though it does hurt when he paddles me.
Other than those two times, I've only received maintenance or reminder spankings, except for the one that's about to happen now. This punishment is coming because of a culmination of my attitude and my jealousy, which he doesn't tolerate, especially since he hasn't given me any reason to be jealous. I know I need to be disciplined and I know I will be better after it, but I still get anxious and fearful that it's going to hurt. He took the kids to school and before leaving, instructed me to take off my clothes and post this blog explaining what was going to happen. He told me that when he gets home, he will put me in the corner so that I can solely focus on the reason I am getting punished. Then I will bend over the side of the bed and he will stand behind me and spank me with the strap. It always hurts more when he stands instead of sits because it has a greater sting. That is for my attitude. Then he will bend me over the dresser and whip me with the cane, for my cursing. Next, I will go over his knee for a paddling with the wooden ping pong paddle. And then he'll finish up with a handspanking over his knee.
So here I sit, my bare bottom exposed and waiting for his correction upon it.
For the past six or seven months I've really only gotten maintenance spankings with the exception of two instances when I earned a punishment and he gave me a walloping. The first was when I had had too much to drink and I got mouthy with him and with his brother and his wife. We disagreed on some issues that I won't go into here but my hubby wasn't happy with the way I handled myself at dinner. He warned me twice by giving me a look and touching his belt buckle, which is the sign that I am treading on thin ice, but I didn't care. I had drank too much and I was hell bent on saying my piece. He excused us to the bathroom, bent me over the sink and whipped my bare bottom until I was red, sore and apologizing.
The second instance was when I spent too much money on the credit card, which is now a new item added to my list. I knew I had gone overboard but I guess I was hoping he wouldn't notice. When the bill came, he called me to his office in the basement, showed me the charges and then informed me that after the kids were in bed I was going to be punished. That night he took me down to his office, locked the basement door so the kids couldn't come down, took off all of my clothes and had me stand in the corner for 3 minutes. The anticipation was killing me. He then bent me over the top of his desk, and gave me a whipping, first with his belt, then the wooden paddle and then the cane. I was crying when he sent me back to the corner for another 3 minutes to think about why I was being punished. After that, he put me over his knee and spanked me long and hard until I sobbed. I was crying more from the embarrassment of earning the punishment than from physical pain, though it does hurt when he paddles me.
Other than those two times, I've only received maintenance or reminder spankings, except for the one that's about to happen now. This punishment is coming because of a culmination of my attitude and my jealousy, which he doesn't tolerate, especially since he hasn't given me any reason to be jealous. I know I need to be disciplined and I know I will be better after it, but I still get anxious and fearful that it's going to hurt. He took the kids to school and before leaving, instructed me to take off my clothes and post this blog explaining what was going to happen. He told me that when he gets home, he will put me in the corner so that I can solely focus on the reason I am getting punished. Then I will bend over the side of the bed and he will stand behind me and spank me with the strap. It always hurts more when he stands instead of sits because it has a greater sting. That is for my attitude. Then he will bend me over the dresser and whip me with the cane, for my cursing. Next, I will go over his knee for a paddling with the wooden ping pong paddle. And then he'll finish up with a handspanking over his knee.So here I sit, my bare bottom exposed and waiting for his correction upon it.
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Quiet Spankings When Kids Are Home
One of the questions we are ask most often is how can couples administer discipline when there are children in the home? This makes things challenging for sure, but it can be done. It takes a huge commitment to obedience and follow-thru.
Here are some pointers:
1. Invest in a silent tool like a Loopy Johnny or a plastic hanger will work.
2. Get a mindset that spankings will be quick and quiet and that any type of sexual gratifications will most likely be delayed until later.
3. Come up with a code that the children do not recognize, but that tells your partner to go to the designated room and prepare for a spanking. (If our children are home my husband touches the front of his belt buckle and I know that I need to go prepare.)
4. The bathroom is a good place to administer discipline because you can turn on the shower or the fan to mask sound.
5. Administer quick swats with a silent tool and then follow it with corner time. If the message hasn't gotten through, administer another set of swats followed by more corner time.
6. The moment an infraction is made issue discipline immediately. This is crucial to the success of the dominant/submissive, loving relationship. If you do not hold your partner accountable immediately they will begin to dis-respect your authority and they will begin to feel unloved and unnoticed.
7. Don't make the mistake of taking it easy or being overly gentle during discipline. If a rule was broken, punishment is earned. It's that simple. You are not being mean by giving your partner the discipline they deserve. In fact, if you intentionally don't give a harsh spanking that has been earned, you are causing more damage than good.
8. If you are new to DD or if you have taken a long break from it for whatever reasons, start over with a training period/boot camp. That means each morning begin the day with a maintenance or reminder paddling and naked corner time. Again, the bathroom is the ideal place for this. Get up before the kids are awake, have your partner strip naked, bend her over the sink or the tub or your lap and issue a sound spanking with a quiet tool. Send her immediately to the corner so that she can process your authority and her decision to submit to it. This is very important to start her day off with the right mindset. Likewise, before bed, after the kids are asleep, give her another maintenance spanking or address issues where she may have wavered in attitude or action during the day. The goal is that every time she sits down she is reminded of your love and the safety of your authority.
These steps will help you but you've got to commit to doing them. No arguing and no begging. We have a rule in our home, if I argue or beg, it's 50 swats with his belt on top of whatever discipline I have already earned.
Here are some pointers:
1. Invest in a silent tool like a Loopy Johnny or a plastic hanger will work.
2. Get a mindset that spankings will be quick and quiet and that any type of sexual gratifications will most likely be delayed until later.
3. Come up with a code that the children do not recognize, but that tells your partner to go to the designated room and prepare for a spanking. (If our children are home my husband touches the front of his belt buckle and I know that I need to go prepare.)
4. The bathroom is a good place to administer discipline because you can turn on the shower or the fan to mask sound.
5. Administer quick swats with a silent tool and then follow it with corner time. If the message hasn't gotten through, administer another set of swats followed by more corner time.
6. The moment an infraction is made issue discipline immediately. This is crucial to the success of the dominant/submissive, loving relationship. If you do not hold your partner accountable immediately they will begin to dis-respect your authority and they will begin to feel unloved and unnoticed.
7. Don't make the mistake of taking it easy or being overly gentle during discipline. If a rule was broken, punishment is earned. It's that simple. You are not being mean by giving your partner the discipline they deserve. In fact, if you intentionally don't give a harsh spanking that has been earned, you are causing more damage than good.
8. If you are new to DD or if you have taken a long break from it for whatever reasons, start over with a training period/boot camp. That means each morning begin the day with a maintenance or reminder paddling and naked corner time. Again, the bathroom is the ideal place for this. Get up before the kids are awake, have your partner strip naked, bend her over the sink or the tub or your lap and issue a sound spanking with a quiet tool. Send her immediately to the corner so that she can process your authority and her decision to submit to it. This is very important to start her day off with the right mindset. Likewise, before bed, after the kids are asleep, give her another maintenance spanking or address issues where she may have wavered in attitude or action during the day. The goal is that every time she sits down she is reminded of your love and the safety of your authority.
These steps will help you but you've got to commit to doing them. No arguing and no begging. We have a rule in our home, if I argue or beg, it's 50 swats with his belt on top of whatever discipline I have already earned.Thursday, May 5, 2016
A Bare Red Bottom
When I'm about to get a spanking for something I know I have done wrong, I feel knotted inside. When he makes me stand in the corner before the spanking, I can't help but replay the infraction over and over in my brain. That time, though only a few minutes, helps prepare me to have a submissive attitude so that when he bends me over, I am ready to accept the spanking.
His authority is arousing even though the spanking hurts. He paddles me hard and fast usually and it stings. If he's giving me an all around discipline session, he will use multiple tools and then my butt gets really red and sore. But, his message gets driven home.
Nothing proves as a better reminder than a bare, red bottom.
His authority is arousing even though the spanking hurts. He paddles me hard and fast usually and it stings. If he's giving me an all around discipline session, he will use multiple tools and then my butt gets really red and sore. But, his message gets driven home.
Nothing proves as a better reminder than a bare, red bottom.
Why We Do DD
I don't have a lot of time to blog anymore but I do still keep a journal of our DD journey. Someday I'll enter all of my journal entries into this blog. The DD lifestyle is a journey indeed and we learn what works and what doesn't work as we try new things. The past couple of months we've tried many things that haven't worked. I'm going to post specifically about those later in the week, but today I want to tell you about why this lifestyle works for us. Lots of people question it and even judge us for it. Many people have said that it is abusive and that's what I want to clarify the most. The DD lifestyle is not abusive at all. In fact, it's the opposite of abuse. It's pure, strong, unconditional love.
My husband has never hurt me, and by hurt I mean intentionally hit me or abused me in a way that was purposefully done to inflict harm. He doesn't scream at me nor strike me. He doesn't embarrass me in front of our family, friends or public places. He respects me for who I am and loves me deeply and tenderly. That's why this lifestyle works for us.
I want to be the best woman I can be. I want to be a good person, a good mother and a good wife. I want to be honest and non-judgmental and I never want to be lazy. I want to be healthy for myself and for our family and I don't want to say or do things that will hurt myself or my kids or my husband. By the same token, my husband wants to be the best man he can be. He strives to be a protector and provider for us and to be an attentive father and husband. He is gentle, affectionate and strong. There is a natural balance in our marriage and it works well for us.
When things get out of balance, we argue and fight or sometimes begin to grow apart. Like any marriage we have hit rough patches along the way. Most, not all but most, of the rough patches were caused by me. I carried a lot of guilt over this fact. So, when I learned about the DD lifestyle, I brought the idea to my husband and asked him if we could try it. I asked him to hold me accountable and to discipline me when necessary.
He was hesitant to comply at first but we began the journey together and it has only brought us closer.
I gave him a list of things I wanted to improve on and we discussed the list. These things weren't HIS rules imposed on me. They were my ideas and I brought them to him to help hold me accountable.
For example: Over-spending. I know that overspending puts stress on our family and I don't want to do that. I can be an impulse shopper and I want a deterrent from impulse buying. So, we decided on a budget and if I go over that budget, he will hold me accountable to it. This usually means I am draped over his knee for a solid paddling and then into the corner naked to think about it and then bent over for a belt whipping to drive the point home. I know when I overspend that I will be punished hard and I also know that I deserve that punishment.
Some people think this is cruel, but that's because they don't see the compassion and the love that goes into it. I don't get beaten if I go a cent over budget. If there are times I have to exceed the budget I call him and tell him why and then I am not punished. It has taught me the value of money and the need to be selective in what I purchase and not be frivolous with our income. When I blatantly ignore the budget is when I am held accountable and disciplined.
Spanking me is not abusing me. Spanking me is protecting me and our marriage and our family from behaviors that can negatively affect us. By taking me over his knee, he is assuring me that he will not let me, my mistakes or anything destroy us.
Sometimes it is hard to face the fact that I need to be disciplined. When he puts my legs in the air and spanks me while looking me in the eyes and addressing why I am being punished, I feel embarrassed and ashamed. But I know it is needed so that I will change my behavior.
The same hands that spank me are the ones that hold me and touch me and love me and it is an amazing bond. I trust him with all of me and I know that he would never jeopardize us or our family on a whim. Incorporating the DD lifestyle into our lives has saved our marriage and brought us closer than I ever thought we would be. He is my very best friend.
My husband has never hurt me, and by hurt I mean intentionally hit me or abused me in a way that was purposefully done to inflict harm. He doesn't scream at me nor strike me. He doesn't embarrass me in front of our family, friends or public places. He respects me for who I am and loves me deeply and tenderly. That's why this lifestyle works for us.
I want to be the best woman I can be. I want to be a good person, a good mother and a good wife. I want to be honest and non-judgmental and I never want to be lazy. I want to be healthy for myself and for our family and I don't want to say or do things that will hurt myself or my kids or my husband. By the same token, my husband wants to be the best man he can be. He strives to be a protector and provider for us and to be an attentive father and husband. He is gentle, affectionate and strong. There is a natural balance in our marriage and it works well for us.
When things get out of balance, we argue and fight or sometimes begin to grow apart. Like any marriage we have hit rough patches along the way. Most, not all but most, of the rough patches were caused by me. I carried a lot of guilt over this fact. So, when I learned about the DD lifestyle, I brought the idea to my husband and asked him if we could try it. I asked him to hold me accountable and to discipline me when necessary.
He was hesitant to comply at first but we began the journey together and it has only brought us closer.
I gave him a list of things I wanted to improve on and we discussed the list. These things weren't HIS rules imposed on me. They were my ideas and I brought them to him to help hold me accountable.
For example: Over-spending. I know that overspending puts stress on our family and I don't want to do that. I can be an impulse shopper and I want a deterrent from impulse buying. So, we decided on a budget and if I go over that budget, he will hold me accountable to it. This usually means I am draped over his knee for a solid paddling and then into the corner naked to think about it and then bent over for a belt whipping to drive the point home. I know when I overspend that I will be punished hard and I also know that I deserve that punishment.
Some people think this is cruel, but that's because they don't see the compassion and the love that goes into it. I don't get beaten if I go a cent over budget. If there are times I have to exceed the budget I call him and tell him why and then I am not punished. It has taught me the value of money and the need to be selective in what I purchase and not be frivolous with our income. When I blatantly ignore the budget is when I am held accountable and disciplined.
Spanking me is not abusing me. Spanking me is protecting me and our marriage and our family from behaviors that can negatively affect us. By taking me over his knee, he is assuring me that he will not let me, my mistakes or anything destroy us.
Sometimes it is hard to face the fact that I need to be disciplined. When he puts my legs in the air and spanks me while looking me in the eyes and addressing why I am being punished, I feel embarrassed and ashamed. But I know it is needed so that I will change my behavior.
The same hands that spank me are the ones that hold me and touch me and love me and it is an amazing bond. I trust him with all of me and I know that he would never jeopardize us or our family on a whim. Incorporating the DD lifestyle into our lives has saved our marriage and brought us closer than I ever thought we would be. He is my very best friend.
Friday, February 26, 2016
My Infraction List - About to Get a BIG ONE
I'm sitting here with my panties off, waiting for a spanking that I know will be a long and painful one. I also know I've earned it.
Part of my discipline is to write down all of the reasons why I need to be disciplined and today he asked me to write those reasons into my blog. So here goes:
1. My language has been foul even in front of other people and I know that is forbidden. I know I have the power to choose my own words and when I drop the F word it is a choice I am making and that choice comes with consequences. My bottom is going to pay the price this morning.
2. I haven't been good at exercising and I've asked him to help me stay on track. When I get lazy with my body I know I have earned a solid lashing to remind me to take care of myself.
3. I have had a very negative attitude recently and I know I am due for an attitude adjustment in the form of a paddling.
4. I've been disrespectful and even hurtful to my husband and I don't want to treat him that way. I know that going over his knee will remind me that he is on my side and he deserves my respect.
5. Jealousy. There's this woman at his work that likes to flirt with him. It's harmless and I know he won't do anything but it bothers me and sometimes I let my mind run away with me. This week I accused him of flirting with her, which he didn't really do.
The waiting is the worst part. He'll come in with that look on his face and we'll talk about all of these things. It's hard to look him in the eyes and discuss the fact that I'm going to receive a spanking. Even after all of this time I get embarrassed and humiliated, but I know that I am better when he disciplines me. I feel better. I get a sense of release and a calmness and I feel his love when he takes action. I know it isn't always easy on him to punish me, but he does it anyway because he knows it makes me and us better and for that I adore him.
I've just been told to sign off and bend over the bed with my bare bottom exposed and think about my forthcoming punishment, so I have to go.
Part of my discipline is to write down all of the reasons why I need to be disciplined and today he asked me to write those reasons into my blog. So here goes:
1. My language has been foul even in front of other people and I know that is forbidden. I know I have the power to choose my own words and when I drop the F word it is a choice I am making and that choice comes with consequences. My bottom is going to pay the price this morning.
2. I haven't been good at exercising and I've asked him to help me stay on track. When I get lazy with my body I know I have earned a solid lashing to remind me to take care of myself.
3. I have had a very negative attitude recently and I know I am due for an attitude adjustment in the form of a paddling.
4. I've been disrespectful and even hurtful to my husband and I don't want to treat him that way. I know that going over his knee will remind me that he is on my side and he deserves my respect.
5. Jealousy. There's this woman at his work that likes to flirt with him. It's harmless and I know he won't do anything but it bothers me and sometimes I let my mind run away with me. This week I accused him of flirting with her, which he didn't really do.
The waiting is the worst part. He'll come in with that look on his face and we'll talk about all of these things. It's hard to look him in the eyes and discuss the fact that I'm going to receive a spanking. Even after all of this time I get embarrassed and humiliated, but I know that I am better when he disciplines me. I feel better. I get a sense of release and a calmness and I feel his love when he takes action. I know it isn't always easy on him to punish me, but he does it anyway because he knows it makes me and us better and for that I adore him.
I've just been told to sign off and bend over the bed with my bare bottom exposed and think about my forthcoming punishment, so I have to go.
Thursday, January 7, 2016
Top Ten Tips to Make Your New Year a Spanking Success
Happy New Year DD friends!
We hope the new year will bring you resolutions of good
behavior and when the behavior slips, we hope you will have good discipline in
tact to provide stability in your home.
May you have more maintenance and less punishment spankings this year.
We decided to start 2016 off with some important information
about how to bring balance and keep balance in your home.
Follow these steps and we guarantee you will find harmony in
your relationship:
1. 1. Sit down
with your partner and write in a maintenance spanking schedule on your
calendar. If it is in writing it will be
that much easier to stick to. **This is
especially important for couples who spend a lot of time apart due to their
careers. Choose the date and time and
then stick to it.
2. 2. Re-evaluate your improvement list and add to it
any new resolutions you have made.
3. 3. Assign a punishment value to every item on the
list. **We have found that this is
highly effective in deterring mis-behavior.
i.e. if she knows that ignoring her exercise plan will result in a
consistent outpouring of 50 lashes with the cane, she will be more prone to
make the choice to do the exercise.
4. 4. Also assign a position to the list. Your list might look something like this:
Cursing - 25 swats with belt for each curse
word - OTK
Attitude - 50 swats with the hairbrush for
each occurrence - Bent over bed
Exercise - 50 caning swats -
Standing with fingers locked behind head
Maintenance - 10 minute hand spanking - OTK
Over-spending -
Lying -
Adultery -
And so on and so forth. The new year is the time to assign new values
and new positions and then commit yourself to stick to them.
5. 5. Corner time is a MUST and you need to re-commit
to enforcing it. **Some women are
opposed to corner time because they feel it is humiliating so derive an
alternative. A very effective
alternative is to have her lie naked over the edge of the bed with her bottom
exposed and write down why she is about to be punished and how she can avoid punishment
in the future. This is less humiliating for the woman and it allows her to
visually process her behavior as she writes it down. It also gives the husband something to review
with her before he begins the discipline session.
6. 6. Get rid of the excuses! **The biggest excuse we hear is that couples
are rarely alone to execute punishment when needed. This is fixable with a commitment from both
parties. If there are people in your
home when punishment is earned, then leave your home. Drive to a vacant parking lot, a vacant road,
climb into the backseat and provide the discipline that is needed. Don’t allow yourself to make excuses. **If children are in the home, pretend to
take a shower, turn on the water, the bathroom fan, lock the doors, provide a
pillow for the partner being punished to cry into and use a silent tool. It CAN be done and it MUST be done!
7. 7. Guilt-Release Session **We are learning more and more that women
carry more guilt than men. With regards
to day-to-day issues men are able to release guilt faster and easier than women. So, gents, it is your responsibility to help
bring your wife or partner relief from the guilt she is experiencing and there’s
no better time than the new year to start things off right!
WHAT A GUILT-RELEASE SESSION LOOKS LIKE
a.
The wife
writes down a list of all of the things she feels guilty about. This list might be day-to-day things, people
she’s let down, mistakes she’s made in the past or present, etc. Every woman is different and her list will be
unique to her life experiences.
b.
Sit down together and read the list. This is not a time for judgment or a time to
argue that she should or should not feel the way she feels. If an item is on the list, she is feeling
guilty about it, and thusly it must be addressed in order for her to feel
relief. **Many women will cry just in
sharing the list because they have a great amount of shame or humiliation
attached to the issues they have written down.
This is normal and not an indication that they do not want to
follow-through with the session.
c.
Depending on the length of the list, it may need
to be broken down into more than one session.
This is permissible, but try to keep the sessions all in the same
day. i.e. one in the morning, one in the
afternoon, one in the evening.
d.
Assign a punishment value to each item and write
those next to the item.
e.
During the session, eye-contact is extremely
important for two reasons: 1) Looking
you in the eyes as you discuss the item makes her take full ownership in
it. 2) Looking you in the eyes allows
her to see your forgiveness and your unconditional love for her. It makes her feel secure that even in her
worse offense, you will not allow her to destroy the relationship. Your strength
will bring your relationship back to a place of balance.
f.
Address each item verbally first and then
administer the punishment. **Sometimes
an item prompts questions like, “what were you thinking?” or “why would you do
that?” This is okay. Husbands will often encounter an item on her
list that arises feelings of anger in them and that is acceptable. Putting her over your knee is a means of
cleansing both of you, acknowledging the anger she has made you feel and
punishing her for the behavior, ultimately restoring balance in the relationship.
8. 8. She must be naked during a discipline
session. **Couples try to squirm around
this one but it is crucial to the success of DD. Her nakedness is a symbol of her submission
to you and of stripping down all exterior factors that stand between you.
9. 9. Immediate Punishment is of the utmost important
because it is what builds her trust in your ability to lead the home. **Men, you must prove to her that your word
is true and thusly you must do what you say you are going to do. The more she trusts your follow-through, the
quicker she will learn to submit to you and the more peaceful your relationship
will be.
1 10. Alone time after a punishment session is needed
for at least 3-5 minutes for her to process her behavior and your strength in
correcting her. After the time has
lapsed, come back to her and then be affectionate. **We are learning more and more that
immediate sexual gratification is inhibiting the dominant-submissive
connection, but adding in affection after a short time of reflection
strengthens the connection.
That’s it!
Your top ten new year’s resolutions to start the year off aces!
This message was sent to our newsletter patrons as well but we thought it was helpful and wanted to share with everyone! Happy New Year!
P.S. Now, I'm off to get a spanking for being 6 days late at getting the newsletter out. He asked me three times to get it down and I kept procrastinating. I am sorry for my delay and I know in about 15 minutes I'm going to be a whole lot sorrier. He's already laid his belt across the chair and my stomach is trembling with anticipation. This will be my first punishment spanking of 2016 and I'm certain he's going to make it leave a lasting impression.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Whip It Good
This was me today after a hard spanking. My sarcastic mouth got the best of me again and my hubby gave me quite the whipping with his belt. What's more is he told me I'm getting the second half of the punishment tonight before bed. My butt is still sore and I'm already dreading what's coming, even though I know I've earned it.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
A Hard Belting
Boy, did I get it for my attitude. He came into our room with his belt already in his hand and before I could say anything he told me lay over the side of the bed with my arms stretched out in front of me and my legs dangling off the side. He then placed a pillow beneath by pelvis to lift my bottom into the air a little more.
"Do you understand why you're about to get a whipping?" He asked.
"Yes sir," I said, hoping my better attitude of submission would make him go easier on me.
"Explain why," he said and rubbed his hand over my bottom to warm my cheeks.
"Because of my bad attitude," I said.
"And because your attitude is a sign of what?"
"Disrespect," I answered. "I'm sorry."
"Not as sorry as you're going to be when we're through here," he said and then drew his arm way back and let the belt slap down on my butt. It stung and I couldn't help but cry out.
"Thirty nine more to go," he said, "that is, if you don't squirm or try to block your ass."
I held still but by the fifth slap I was already in tears and apologizing. Half way through he had me roll over onto my back and place my legs in the air so I had to look him in the face during the rest of the spanking. That's when I cried the hardest. I could see love and anger in his eyes while he punished me and I knew without a doubt that I deserved the spanking I was getting.
After the forty lashes with his belt, he pulled me over his knee for a hard hand spanking and he talked to me during the hand spanking. He reminded me that he doesn't like to hurt me, but that he will hold me accountable and that he knows it is his job to teach me how to be submissive. He knows it wouldn't be fair to either one of us or to our marriage if he slacked off on his responsibilities as head of our home. I know he's right and I'm glad he's strong enough to hold me accountable. I hate being spanked for punishment but I know I need it. I'm better for it.
"Do you understand why you're about to get a whipping?" He asked.
"Yes sir," I said, hoping my better attitude of submission would make him go easier on me.
"Explain why," he said and rubbed his hand over my bottom to warm my cheeks.
"Because of my bad attitude," I said.
"And because your attitude is a sign of what?"
"Disrespect," I answered. "I'm sorry."
"Not as sorry as you're going to be when we're through here," he said and then drew his arm way back and let the belt slap down on my butt. It stung and I couldn't help but cry out.
"Thirty nine more to go," he said, "that is, if you don't squirm or try to block your ass."
I held still but by the fifth slap I was already in tears and apologizing. Half way through he had me roll over onto my back and place my legs in the air so I had to look him in the face during the rest of the spanking. That's when I cried the hardest. I could see love and anger in his eyes while he punished me and I knew without a doubt that I deserved the spanking I was getting.
After the forty lashes with his belt, he pulled me over his knee for a hard hand spanking and he talked to me during the hand spanking. He reminded me that he doesn't like to hurt me, but that he will hold me accountable and that he knows it is his job to teach me how to be submissive. He knows it wouldn't be fair to either one of us or to our marriage if he slacked off on his responsibilities as head of our home. I know he's right and I'm glad he's strong enough to hold me accountable. I hate being spanked for punishment but I know I need it. I'm better for it.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Face-to-Face
My hubbie just read my blog and wanted me to add something that I totally forgot about. This has been a HUGE HUGE influence in helping me get to tears during a spanking and feel genuinely remorseful and embrace submission.
As I mentioned, he always begins with an OTK hand spanking to warm my bottom up, but even before that, when he first brings me toward him, he talks to me, eye-to-eye, face to face about my behavior. This makes me focus on the fact that I am about to be punished because of MY own actions. It helps me realize that I control my behavior and he is merely holding me accountable. Sometimes, while he talks to me, he'll rub his hand over my bottom and other times he'll cup my pussy, not so much to arouse me but as an expression of his authority. A reminder that I'm his, that he'd rather provide pleasure but when discipline is warranted he will provide pain. The powerful thing about this is that I have to look him in the eyes and admit what I have done wrong. "You spent two hundred and fifty two dollars over your credit card limit, didn't you?" I nod, because I did. "And you knew you were over the limit when you spent it, didn't you?" I nod again. Guilty. "What do you deserve for this?" This is the part that's really hard for me, saying that I deserve to be given a hard spanking and sent to the corner. "I deserve to be punished."
"And what should that punishment be?" He sometimes asks me.
"A spanking."
Just having me say the words is humiliating. Looking my husband in the eyes and admitting that I need him to take me over his knee for a whipping is embarrassing and that's part of the process of submission.
So, men, enforce it because it will have a long-term positive effect on your wife.
As I mentioned, he always begins with an OTK hand spanking to warm my bottom up, but even before that, when he first brings me toward him, he talks to me, eye-to-eye, face to face about my behavior. This makes me focus on the fact that I am about to be punished because of MY own actions. It helps me realize that I control my behavior and he is merely holding me accountable. Sometimes, while he talks to me, he'll rub his hand over my bottom and other times he'll cup my pussy, not so much to arouse me but as an expression of his authority. A reminder that I'm his, that he'd rather provide pleasure but when discipline is warranted he will provide pain. The powerful thing about this is that I have to look him in the eyes and admit what I have done wrong. "You spent two hundred and fifty two dollars over your credit card limit, didn't you?" I nod, because I did. "And you knew you were over the limit when you spent it, didn't you?" I nod again. Guilty. "What do you deserve for this?" This is the part that's really hard for me, saying that I deserve to be given a hard spanking and sent to the corner. "I deserve to be punished."
"And what should that punishment be?" He sometimes asks me.
"A spanking."
Just having me say the words is humiliating. Looking my husband in the eyes and admitting that I need him to take me over his knee for a whipping is embarrassing and that's part of the process of submission.
So, men, enforce it because it will have a long-term positive effect on your wife.
New Nurturing Methods of Discipline
In January I didn't blog much because we were initiating our annual new year boot camp. My butt is still sore but my heart is light. We set up some new rules and I feel like I'm finally grasping the whole submission thing a lot more than I used to. I am beginning to love it and I feel such a deeper love for my husband. He's been noticing me and keeping a watchful presence on my attitude and it feels so good to have his attention. I'll offer up my bare bottom in return for his attention any day, but enough with the sappy stuff, I want to tell you our new rules in hopes that it will help some of you in your discipline journey as well.
1. Corner time BEFORE a spanking never worked to adjust my attitude and in most cases made me more angry or upset. So, after attending a spanking seminar last December, my husband instituted Computer time before the spanking. Here's how it works: He informs me that I am going to receive a spanking in 10-15 minutes, at which time he tells me to strip from the waist down. I then sit at the computer, bare bottomed, and type a paragraph about what is going through my mind before this spanking, and listing the things I am about to be spanked for. (bad language, over spending, disrespect, bad attitude, not taking care of myself, etc.) Do I think I deserve it? What tools do I think he should use? How can I improve my behavior going forward? That sort of stuff. When he comes in to spank me, we read the paragraph together and discuss what I've written.
For example: Today I wrote that I thought I deserved 20 swats with the cane for my foul language. He read it and reminded me of just how bad my language had been and told me he was going to issue 40 swats, which he later did.
The computer time as opposed to corner time helps me organize my thoughts and express my feelings about the upcoming punishment; and so far, it has made me more humble and submissive going into each spanking.
2. He is more verbal before, during and after the spanking. This has helped A LOT in teaching me to be submissive. After he reads my paragraph, he tells me exactly why I am going to be punished and expresses his feelings about it. "I'm going to give you a hard paddling for your foul mouth. I don't want you using those words and it is my job as your husband to help you learn to stop using them." He speaks before each item on our list and explains why I am being punished. "You have misbehaved when it comes to taking care of yourself and I'm not going to sit by and tolerate it. " Sometimes he'll ask me questions that seem silly while reading but help me process and accept the punishment at the time. "Heather, what happens if I don't punish you?" I answer, "things get worse." "And if I let things get worse is that an indication that I love you?" I say, "no." "Sometimes love means we have to be tough enough to administer discipline when and where it is needed. Is that right?" I answer, "yes." "Yes, what, love?" I answer, "yes sir."
Calling him "sir" every now and then when he asks is a tactic that helps teach submission, and I believe now more than ever that it has helped me learn more quickly.
3. Positioning. All punishments shouldn't be OTK. OTK is the least humiliating and most comfortable position for the woman and sometimes true submission and regret doesn't come unless there is a certain amount of humiliation. Some husbands paddle their wives in front of others to achieve this humiliation, but my husband and I think that's too much for us. He's spanked me in public, but not in front of people we know. The same humiliation can be achieved with positioning for a spanking.
For example, he warms my bottom up with an OTK hand spanking, but when he is going to whip me with the belt, he instructs me to stand up, bend over and touch the floor.
When he is going to cane me, I am told to get on all fours either on top the bed or on the floor, and often times he paddles me while I'm laying on my back with my legs in the air, stretched over my head.
This way he looks me in the eyes as he paddles me and I can't tell you how powerful that is. I cry almost every time.
4. Random spankings. My husband will randomly issue maintenance spankings throughout the day and it has kept my attitude in check and kept me on my toes. He'll give me a few moments notice and if I argue or complain or roll my eyes it goes from a maintenance to a full blown punishment; so I've learned to obey his order to pull down my pants and bend over at random. This has helped me learn submission so much more than I can explain. It makes me trust in his authority and his hand on me.
5. Stress spankings. This is new for us and has worked wonders in our marriage. We live, as most of you probably do too, in a high stress environment. My husband's company has laid off several people and he's on egg shells over his job or over having to fire his employees. It's made him super stressed which makes me worry and get stressed too. At the seminar in December, we learned about stress spankings. This is where the wife offers herself as a stress relief to her husband and there's something beautiful about it. My husband got teary eyed the first time I did it. I knew he was overwhelmed and feeling pressure so I took off my clothes and put on my robe, grabbed his belt from the drawer and went to the basement office. I laid the belt at his feet and then bent over the arm of the chair in his office. He didn't want to spank me at first and then I reminded him that I wanted him to release his stress. "Please give me a spanking," I begged until I finally felt the first stingy slap of his belt across my bottom. He whipped me hard that afternoon and then we held each other and wept. His stress was gone and so was all of my worry.
Stress spankings aren't just for the wife to offer to her husband, it works both ways. If the husband sees that his wife is in knots, overwhelmed and stressed out, he needs to take her to a place where he can whip her in private and give her the relief she needs. This is a beautiful bonding action of love between partners.
I'll write more tomorrow.
1. Corner time BEFORE a spanking never worked to adjust my attitude and in most cases made me more angry or upset. So, after attending a spanking seminar last December, my husband instituted Computer time before the spanking. Here's how it works: He informs me that I am going to receive a spanking in 10-15 minutes, at which time he tells me to strip from the waist down. I then sit at the computer, bare bottomed, and type a paragraph about what is going through my mind before this spanking, and listing the things I am about to be spanked for. (bad language, over spending, disrespect, bad attitude, not taking care of myself, etc.) Do I think I deserve it? What tools do I think he should use? How can I improve my behavior going forward? That sort of stuff. When he comes in to spank me, we read the paragraph together and discuss what I've written.
For example: Today I wrote that I thought I deserved 20 swats with the cane for my foul language. He read it and reminded me of just how bad my language had been and told me he was going to issue 40 swats, which he later did.
The computer time as opposed to corner time helps me organize my thoughts and express my feelings about the upcoming punishment; and so far, it has made me more humble and submissive going into each spanking.
2. He is more verbal before, during and after the spanking. This has helped A LOT in teaching me to be submissive. After he reads my paragraph, he tells me exactly why I am going to be punished and expresses his feelings about it. "I'm going to give you a hard paddling for your foul mouth. I don't want you using those words and it is my job as your husband to help you learn to stop using them." He speaks before each item on our list and explains why I am being punished. "You have misbehaved when it comes to taking care of yourself and I'm not going to sit by and tolerate it. " Sometimes he'll ask me questions that seem silly while reading but help me process and accept the punishment at the time. "Heather, what happens if I don't punish you?" I answer, "things get worse." "And if I let things get worse is that an indication that I love you?" I say, "no." "Sometimes love means we have to be tough enough to administer discipline when and where it is needed. Is that right?" I answer, "yes." "Yes, what, love?" I answer, "yes sir."
Calling him "sir" every now and then when he asks is a tactic that helps teach submission, and I believe now more than ever that it has helped me learn more quickly.
3. Positioning. All punishments shouldn't be OTK. OTK is the least humiliating and most comfortable position for the woman and sometimes true submission and regret doesn't come unless there is a certain amount of humiliation. Some husbands paddle their wives in front of others to achieve this humiliation, but my husband and I think that's too much for us. He's spanked me in public, but not in front of people we know. The same humiliation can be achieved with positioning for a spanking. For example, he warms my bottom up with an OTK hand spanking, but when he is going to whip me with the belt, he instructs me to stand up, bend over and touch the floor.
When he is going to cane me, I am told to get on all fours either on top the bed or on the floor, and often times he paddles me while I'm laying on my back with my legs in the air, stretched over my head.
This way he looks me in the eyes as he paddles me and I can't tell you how powerful that is. I cry almost every time.
4. Random spankings. My husband will randomly issue maintenance spankings throughout the day and it has kept my attitude in check and kept me on my toes. He'll give me a few moments notice and if I argue or complain or roll my eyes it goes from a maintenance to a full blown punishment; so I've learned to obey his order to pull down my pants and bend over at random. This has helped me learn submission so much more than I can explain. It makes me trust in his authority and his hand on me.
5. Stress spankings. This is new for us and has worked wonders in our marriage. We live, as most of you probably do too, in a high stress environment. My husband's company has laid off several people and he's on egg shells over his job or over having to fire his employees. It's made him super stressed which makes me worry and get stressed too. At the seminar in December, we learned about stress spankings. This is where the wife offers herself as a stress relief to her husband and there's something beautiful about it. My husband got teary eyed the first time I did it. I knew he was overwhelmed and feeling pressure so I took off my clothes and put on my robe, grabbed his belt from the drawer and went to the basement office. I laid the belt at his feet and then bent over the arm of the chair in his office. He didn't want to spank me at first and then I reminded him that I wanted him to release his stress. "Please give me a spanking," I begged until I finally felt the first stingy slap of his belt across my bottom. He whipped me hard that afternoon and then we held each other and wept. His stress was gone and so was all of my worry.
Stress spankings aren't just for the wife to offer to her husband, it works both ways. If the husband sees that his wife is in knots, overwhelmed and stressed out, he needs to take her to a place where he can whip her in private and give her the relief she needs. This is a beautiful bonding action of love between partners.
I'll write more tomorrow.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Addition of Self-Spanking
I forgot to add one to my list. If the head of the house travels a lot, you might want to teach your bride to self-administer. This will take an hour or so, but you get her into a position that is conducive for a self-spanking, particularly with a whip or a belt. You give her a spanking and then she administers some swats and together you compare the two. Teach her how to administer the same as you and then, when you are gone, you can instruct her to give herself a punishment spanking to tide her over until you return home. Self-spankings are not designed to replace the husband's discipline, but merely to remind the wife that though you are away, you are still actively involved and watching.
I have my wife tape the self-spanking session and sent it to me. Then, I let her know if it has been long and hard enough or if I believe she needs more. It has worked well for us, though I know it embarrasses her. Not wanting to feel that embarrassment and humiliation has gone a long way in deterring her from rushing into negative behavior.
Fellas, it is an awkward conversation to strike up, but it will go a long way in improving how your wife feels about your being gone, and her outlook on your relationship and how much you love her.
Purchase a whip, get her a phone that will video and teach her to become an extension of your discipline. The alternatives are having a trusted friend come into your home and punish her or purchasing a very expensive spanking machine. The self-spanking, taught by you, controlled by you becomes a bonding experience between you and your wife. I highly recommend it.
Good luck!
I have my wife tape the self-spanking session and sent it to me. Then, I let her know if it has been long and hard enough or if I believe she needs more. It has worked well for us, though I know it embarrasses her. Not wanting to feel that embarrassment and humiliation has gone a long way in deterring her from rushing into negative behavior.
Fellas, it is an awkward conversation to strike up, but it will go a long way in improving how your wife feels about your being gone, and her outlook on your relationship and how much you love her.
Purchase a whip, get her a phone that will video and teach her to become an extension of your discipline. The alternatives are having a trusted friend come into your home and punish her or purchasing a very expensive spanking machine. The self-spanking, taught by you, controlled by you becomes a bonding experience between you and your wife. I highly recommend it.
Good luck!
Male Perspective on Spanking
Heather hasn't been blogging lately because her attitude has been less than desirable and her blogs were not uplifting, so she deleted them. In her absence she has received a lot of emails asking where she is and if she's going to be continuing her blog. The answer is yes. January for us held a new awakening in discipline and she is excited to tell you about it. First we decided it would be best if I presented a husband view and answered some of the male questions, and then she will begin blogging and sharing from the female perspective and answer those questions.
Being the man and the head of the household isn't always easy. I think some people get it in their heads that I always want to discipline my wife when that isn't the case. There are times when she needs a spanking but I don't feel like doing it. It's at those times when I have to press forward and honor my commitment to her and to us and take her over my knee. As the head of the home, it is my job to maintain peace and order so keeping a tight handle on my wife's attitude and respectful behavior is imperative to the overall health and harmony in our home.
Men, you must follow these simple rules if discipline is going to work for you:
1. Conduct a boot camp at least once every quarter. It serves as a reminder to her of the difference between punishment spankings and maintenance spankings and it will make her appreciate the maintenance ones. It also helps teach her to be submissive in attitude, not weak, submissive. It takes a woman a great deal of strength to submit to a man. Don't underestimate this and your job to teach her how to do it.
2. Give her a reminder paddling every night before bed. If she objects, increase the paddling. She will sleep better and wake up with a good outlook on life.
3. Remember gentleman that a hard spanking provides your love with emotional release that inevitably lowers her stress level, calms her irritability and fights depression. You are literally doing her a favor by giving her a hard throttling and you should, for this reason, spank her bottom until she cries and achieves the needed release. If you quit too soon you have done nothing for either of you.
4. A spanking session is also a release for you, men, and that is acceptable. If she has made you angry, it is acceptable to paddle her and release that anger.
5. You must send her to the corner with her panties down and her bare red bottom exposed. This is an act of submission that she must do. If she objects spank her until she is more agreeable.
6. Kids at home is not a reason to avoid a spanking so don't allow her to use this excuse. It is the number one excuse women use to get out of being punished. Get a signal and a quiet tool so the children or guests in your home will not know. Touch your belt and motion her upstairs or downstairs. Step into a bathroom and turn on the fan and the shower, or go into the bedroom and lock the door. Paddle her hard and fast with a silent tool (a hangar works like magic) until she cries. Reprimand her quietly while you give her a hearty spanking. If she objects, add to the punishment. By this I mean, if you cannot spank her longer right then, you tell her she is to come back to this room in thirty minutes for another beating.
7. Know your list of infractions and hold her accountable for every item on the list. If she curses, issue a beating immediately. If she overspends her limit, issue a beating immediately. If she backtalks or disrespects your authority, pull her pants down right then and there and give her a thrashing. YOU control whether she succeeds at learning submission.
8. If you travel as I do, it is harder but not impossible. The first night you get home, give her a spanking as a reminder of the behavior you expect to see in her. Impose upon her that she keeps a journal while you are away in which she makes note of her infractions. Hold her accountable for each one with a solid spanking.
9. If her behavior slips while in public, take her into a family-style restroom that locks and whip her with your belt. If a restroom is not available, take her into the parking lot and give her a whipping in the back of the car. Even the smallest of cars can accommodate a spanking. If you are unable to take care of it right at the moment, tell her privately that when you are alone in the car or at home that she is to take down her pants and remind you that she has earned a punishment spanking. If you put the burden of remembering on her, it will impact her that much more.
10. You cannot spank your wife too much or too often. The worst mistake is to make her feel like you don't care and the way in which you do that is to stop holding her accountable. Her bottom should bare your handprint or the marks of your belt 24/7.
Good luck, gents!
Being the man and the head of the household isn't always easy. I think some people get it in their heads that I always want to discipline my wife when that isn't the case. There are times when she needs a spanking but I don't feel like doing it. It's at those times when I have to press forward and honor my commitment to her and to us and take her over my knee. As the head of the home, it is my job to maintain peace and order so keeping a tight handle on my wife's attitude and respectful behavior is imperative to the overall health and harmony in our home.
Men, you must follow these simple rules if discipline is going to work for you:
1. Conduct a boot camp at least once every quarter. It serves as a reminder to her of the difference between punishment spankings and maintenance spankings and it will make her appreciate the maintenance ones. It also helps teach her to be submissive in attitude, not weak, submissive. It takes a woman a great deal of strength to submit to a man. Don't underestimate this and your job to teach her how to do it.
2. Give her a reminder paddling every night before bed. If she objects, increase the paddling. She will sleep better and wake up with a good outlook on life.
3. Remember gentleman that a hard spanking provides your love with emotional release that inevitably lowers her stress level, calms her irritability and fights depression. You are literally doing her a favor by giving her a hard throttling and you should, for this reason, spank her bottom until she cries and achieves the needed release. If you quit too soon you have done nothing for either of you.
4. A spanking session is also a release for you, men, and that is acceptable. If she has made you angry, it is acceptable to paddle her and release that anger.
5. You must send her to the corner with her panties down and her bare red bottom exposed. This is an act of submission that she must do. If she objects spank her until she is more agreeable.
6. Kids at home is not a reason to avoid a spanking so don't allow her to use this excuse. It is the number one excuse women use to get out of being punished. Get a signal and a quiet tool so the children or guests in your home will not know. Touch your belt and motion her upstairs or downstairs. Step into a bathroom and turn on the fan and the shower, or go into the bedroom and lock the door. Paddle her hard and fast with a silent tool (a hangar works like magic) until she cries. Reprimand her quietly while you give her a hearty spanking. If she objects, add to the punishment. By this I mean, if you cannot spank her longer right then, you tell her she is to come back to this room in thirty minutes for another beating.
7. Know your list of infractions and hold her accountable for every item on the list. If she curses, issue a beating immediately. If she overspends her limit, issue a beating immediately. If she backtalks or disrespects your authority, pull her pants down right then and there and give her a thrashing. YOU control whether she succeeds at learning submission.
8. If you travel as I do, it is harder but not impossible. The first night you get home, give her a spanking as a reminder of the behavior you expect to see in her. Impose upon her that she keeps a journal while you are away in which she makes note of her infractions. Hold her accountable for each one with a solid spanking.
9. If her behavior slips while in public, take her into a family-style restroom that locks and whip her with your belt. If a restroom is not available, take her into the parking lot and give her a whipping in the back of the car. Even the smallest of cars can accommodate a spanking. If you are unable to take care of it right at the moment, tell her privately that when you are alone in the car or at home that she is to take down her pants and remind you that she has earned a punishment spanking. If you put the burden of remembering on her, it will impact her that much more.
10. You cannot spank your wife too much or too often. The worst mistake is to make her feel like you don't care and the way in which you do that is to stop holding her accountable. Her bottom should bare your handprint or the marks of your belt 24/7.
Good luck, gents!
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Exposure!
I'm so excited! My hubby just walked in the room and handed me my kindle and on it is the new Susan Sanchez book!!!!!!!! He downloaded it for me! I can't wait to read it! It's called EXPOSURE!
You guys might remember I interviewed the author a while back and she told me that her short stories are really just sort of like teasers leading up to her full-length novel about Elise Dugar. I can't wait until that comes out! We need more fiction stories on domestic discipline that accurately depict it. That's what I love about these books. They have some sex, which is true to life experience, but they also totally tap into the emotional and psychological benefits of spanking.
Here's a pic of the new book:
Here is the information on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HRIE9BE
If you haven't read the Susan Sanchez books, you're missing out! They're easy reads and I would say even gripping, like I think about them long after I've put my kindle down for the day. It's a series so you should start with the first one, though I think you could probably pick up any of them out of sequence and still get a feel for the characters; but if you want my advice, start with book one.
Okay, gotta fly, I'm off to read EXPOSURE!!
You guys might remember I interviewed the author a while back and she told me that her short stories are really just sort of like teasers leading up to her full-length novel about Elise Dugar. I can't wait until that comes out! We need more fiction stories on domestic discipline that accurately depict it. That's what I love about these books. They have some sex, which is true to life experience, but they also totally tap into the emotional and psychological benefits of spanking.
Here's a pic of the new book:
Here is the information on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HRIE9BE
If you haven't read the Susan Sanchez books, you're missing out! They're easy reads and I would say even gripping, like I think about them long after I've put my kindle down for the day. It's a series so you should start with the first one, though I think you could probably pick up any of them out of sequence and still get a feel for the characters; but if you want my advice, start with book one.
Okay, gotta fly, I'm off to read EXPOSURE!!
Hard to Sit Down
But, I apologized and he forgave me. Clean slate! It feels so good to not carry around a secret that eats away at the inside and makes me all jumpy and paranoid. That's a horrible feeling and a terrible way to live day in and day out. Even though I got my butt beaten and it's honestly a little hard to sit down today, I feel better and my husband and I are closer than we've ever been before.
That's the thing about domestic discipline that most people don't "get." They are quick to judge it as kinky or abusive or wrong, but they don't see the upside. When I do something I shouldn't, he holds me accountable, and that accountability makes me a better person because I am less likely to make the same mistakes over and over again, especially when I know the consequences. AND it helps him release frustration and extend forgiveness. Sometimes in marriage couples bury problems because they're too hard to talk about or too scary to face. With domestic discipline, the balance of submission and dominance helps couples face those issues together, as a united team and not as two people pitted against one another. It's a beautiful balance that most people don't understand because they can't get past the weirdness of it. It's not mainstream but if it were, maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be so high.
Sometimes he spanks me because I have done something wrong and deserve to be punished, like yesterday; and sometimes he spanks me because I need to be reminded of my submissive nature and to keep the submission/dominance balance, and other times he spanks me because we both need it. But whenever he spanks me, it is always out of love and because we are working together to make our relationship be the very best it can be.
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