Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Men MUST Give Mandatory Spankings

It's hard to maintain consistency when we have such a busy schedule and especially when my husband is out of town during most weeks.  Sometimes we get to put in one solid week of submission training and I can really tell a difference in how I feel and how our marriage is during those weeks that he's home. 

A spanking keeps me in line, and it keeps most women in line although the mainstream is afraid to face it or admit it.  At first it feels embarrassing to say you need to be spanked, but after a while you realize there's no shame in it.  Men are leaders and that doesn't mean women can't lead, but it means that we are designed to co-lead with the man.

Women have a whole lot more hormonal and emotional things happening in their bodies and minds than men do.  I don't know about you but sometimes I can't even control my emotions.  Sometimes I feel sad for no reason or irritable for no reason and that's when a being brought over his knee helps to refocus my energy and bring me to a happier place.

If I go a few days without being held accountable I start to use bad language, I get a negative outlook, I get crabby and hateful and angry, and then I end up getting a hard punishment lashing instead of the normal daily maintenance.  I'd rather have the daily discipline than the punishment one any day of the week. 

My bum is an instrument of peace in our marriage.  When my husband is angry with me, we don't have to fight, he simply pulls down my pants and gives me a spanking, during which he releases his anger and I submit and the argument dies right there.

Being spanked is a stress release for a woman, especially if you paddle her until she cries.  Making her cry might seem mean at first, but it isn't, it's opening the dam of her emotions and helping her release it all.  Sometimes women just need to cry and then the world is a better place.  Sometimes it takes a man's belt on her bare ass to provide that release.

Men, women need rules because rules make us feel protected and safe.  Also, when we break a rule we need immediate consequences because that makes us feel noticed and loved.  There is nothing worse in a woman's heart than if she feels unnoticed, uncared for or unloved.  The worse times in our marriage have been when I've felt ignored by him or less important than other people or other things or like he was neglecting what was important to me.  Those are big danger areas for a woman and men need to be able to recognize those areas and fix what needs to be fixed.  Sometimes just getting on a routine discipline schedule will fill in the gaps and show her how much she is loved.

Men, be ready for your woman to test you out in public with her words or attitude.  She may not even consciously know it, but this is a test.  She wants to see if you will be strong enough to hold the reigns and follow through on your rules.  It isn't always possible to discipline in public, but if the opportunity is there, take it.  It will make a huge difference in your marriage.  If you're out at a movie or a restaurant and there is a designated "family restroom" that is one room with a locked door, take your wife in there, lock the door, bend her over the sink and give her a belting or a hand spanking.  If you are driving, pull into a secluded spot, open both the front and back door on one side of the car, bend your wife over the back seat so that the view is blocked by both doors and give her a hard paddling.  I know of men who have taken their wife out to the parking lot, sat in the backseat of their cars with their wife over their knee and given them a walloping without anyone knowing.  There are ways to make it happen when it needs to.  At the very least, if you cannot make it happen, take her by the arm and whisper in her ear that she is going to get it when you get home.  Let her anticipate the spanking for the rest of the evening and then upon arriving home, administer it immediately.

By making her spanking a priority in your life, you are making HER a priority.  By caring enough to enforce the rules, you are telling her that you care enough about HER to make her feel safe and protected.  It all begins with your hand on her backside in a consistent and permeating way.

So, if you have an inconsistent pattern, this is what you need to do:

1.  Mandatory spanking every morning and every evening that you are together.  This MUST happen without fail.  Make time for it.  Do this for a period of 14 days total if your weeks are broken up with travel or two weeks consistently if you are both home.

2.  Seven of these 14 days she must exercise an attitude of submission by coming to her husband and asking to receive a spanking.  This is in addition to the regular morning and evening sessions.  Whenever you are together, for lunch, the middle of the night, it doesn't matter when, the wife must exhibit submission by going to the husband, taking off her clothes and asking him to discipline her.  She may bring him a tool or he may use his hand, take off his belt, a spatula, ping pong paddle, hairbrush, whatever is at his disposal. 

3.  Prior to the morning and evening session, the wife must be given anticipation and reflection time.  This is time naked and either in the corner or in spanking position, reflecting on her behavior and anticipating the discipline he is about to administer.  It doesn't have to be a long period of time, 1-3 minutes is adequate.

4.  Spankings must be long and hard to be effective.  If her bottom isn't bright red and burning hot then it is not going to be effective.  Hard, fast swats get the point across the quickest. 

After 14 days she should hurt to sit down.  Her bottom should be sore but her heart will be warm and so will your marriage. 


  1. i hope to have my spouse start this tonight, he is VERY tired but as I examine my behavior, I can see that although I may have even believed I was ready for total submission I truly have been afraid of a truly painful spanking. The ones he have given have hurt, yes, but afterwars they didn't even the most severe ones. he knows how to spank, but is reluctant when he hears me shrieking from the pain (the stinging really) because it is PUNISHMENT pain, it seems to hurt worse than when i stub my foot or toe on somthing hard. I think I would greatly benefit from some training beginning immediately. I still haven't stopped the foul language and he hasn't held m accountable for that at all, even though it's on our list. Then comes the fact that we are new to this. I am not in danger of being physically injured, as I said he knows how to give a spanking and I have had plenty of them for fun in the past, but maybe that is why we hesitate?I was verbally reprimanded for backtalk tonight and I didn't think I had back-talked. I am not sure I am taking this as seriously as i should, until it's time to be spanked and then I get scared. Also corner time REALLY helped me reflect on my misbehavior and understand and accept why i needed to change, but he seems to think it's too much trouble to put me in the corner. I don't know what he is thinking about that but I have expressed my thoughts about the reasons I need the Corner Time. if you have any suggestions they would be very welcome. Thanks!

  2. Actually, we spoke about this after my last comment and I asked him if he had noticed any signs of disrespect tonight when we were guests somewhere. He had asked me 4 or 5 times to get ready to leave and I wasn't paying attention. I did hear him at least twice, too! i wasn't thinking. If he could have done it right there, it would have been great but we had to get home and figure out that I had been disobedient and disrespectful and broke our spanking contract (Discipline Agreement) In short, in our rules I was ignoring him but my behavior is so bad form a lifetime of spoiled habits I did not even know it! I didn't even realize this horrible misbehavior and nasty habit had occurred tonight until we talked about it. So we decided to try the method for correcting inconsistency listed above immediately and begin with a severe punishment spanking. I was sent to the corner for ten minutes with my clothes all off except my panties had to be lowered to my knees and I was to bend into spanking position on the floor with nose in the corner. After the ten minutes was up he told me to get on my back on the edge of the bed and put me into the dreaded 'diaper position'. OWWWIES! SOOOO HUMILIATING! I don't mind him seeing all of me when lovemaking but when I'm in trouble and knowing he can see my pussy winking at him as I squeal and squirm and try to jiggle out of his grip, it feels like the whole world is in our bedroom and he has a bird's eye view of all my naughty bits. (I get especially embarrassed about this position because of the way it showcases my anus when I start to struggle, I am not into my THAT being seen even by him. I think that is why this position, or draped over the bench (horse) with my cheeks spread is so effective in correction. we decided to make my spankings for the training fast, long hard punishment spankings just to keep me where I need to be, knowing exactly WHY we are doing this and what purpose it serves. If I am not humiliated, scared, hurting and crying, the job just isn't working and he needs to rinse and repeat. he has asked for my input and feedback so I told him the dreadful truth, that I need it to really hurt me, which is mostly what i was afraid of. Hopefully we made a breakthrough tonight. In my opinion, if a submissive is not spanked to tears and bright red at least once a day whether she needs it or not, then there will be lapses and relapses. I am probably going to be spanked every day for the rest of my life and I am grateful to have a good man who loves me enough to go to the trouble to do this for me.

    1. My husband and I are going to start DD soon. I feel the same way ...that I am grateful that my husband loves me enough to do this for me.

    2. Very nice in deed ,loved this

    3. Very nice in deed ,loved this

  3. Help is out there. Seriously, you need it. With cognitive behavioral therapy you can learn to control yourself, like, you know, a grown up. Medication can even you out if your moods are that erratic. As for this belief that you need to submit and not work things out like partners...sigh....marital therapy, consciousness raising?? Most importantly learn that pain is not care or nurturing. He can show you that you are important and not neglected with affection, massage, chores, little gifts, fantastic conversation, problem solving. Why do you think he's able to function without punishment? What do you have to do with valid feelings of anger? What you have is broken.

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  5. My husband and I are going to begin DD. My idea. My question is was there a "catch all" beginning punishment for all acts prior to beginning DD? To clear the slate? Thank you.