Thursday, January 9, 2014

Hard to Sit Down

I was too exhausted to get back on the computer and blog yesterday after my spanking and my husband was compassionate enough to let me out of it.  Trust me when I say I will NEVER lie to him or hide anything from him again.  I am amazed that my bottom isn't bruised because he used every tool we own on it.  I was sent to the corner several times during the process, bent over his knee, over the side of the bed, over the back of a chair and finally had to touch my toes for a solid strapping.  That's my least favorite position.

But, I apologized and he forgave me.  Clean slate!  It feels so good to not carry around a secret that eats away at the inside and makes me all jumpy and paranoid.  That's a horrible feeling and a terrible way to live day in and day out.  Even though I got my butt beaten and it's honestly a little hard to sit down today, I feel better and my husband and I are closer than we've ever been before.

That's the thing about domestic discipline that most people don't "get."  They are quick to judge it as kinky or abusive or wrong, but they don't see the upside.  When I do something I shouldn't, he holds me accountable, and that accountability makes me a better person because I am less likely to make the same mistakes over and over again, especially when I know the consequences.  AND it helps him release frustration and extend forgiveness.  Sometimes in marriage couples bury problems because they're too hard to talk about or too scary to face.  With domestic discipline, the balance of submission and dominance helps couples face those issues together, as a united team and not as two people pitted against one another.  It's a beautiful balance that most people don't understand because they can't get past the weirdness of it.  It's not mainstream but if it were, maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be so high.

I know I am loved when my husband takes the time to notice my actions and hold me accountable, but it's not just about misbehaving or correcting mistakes.  Sometimes women need an emotional release and being put over her loving partner's knee opens the flood gates and provides that release.  Just having my husband look at me and instinctively know when I am all bottled up inside and knotted and tense, and then have him take the time to teach me submission and spank me when needed is an enormous action of love.  Likewise, there are times when I know he has had a bad day and is on edge and sometimes I will crawl over his lap, offering up my bottom as a sacrificial reliever of his stress.  Those spankings are never as hard as punishment spankings, but hard enough to release his tension and then they always result in us ravaging each other's bodies, which is stress release alone.

Sometimes he spanks me because I have done something wrong and deserve to be punished, like yesterday; and sometimes he spanks me because I need to be reminded of my submissive nature and to keep the submission/dominance balance, and other times he spanks me because we both need it.  But whenever he spanks me, it is always out of love and because we are working together to make our relationship be the very best it can be.

I am thankful that I have a man in my life who is strong enough to hold the reigns for me and keep us on course.  I don't know what I would do without him.

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