But, I apologized and he forgave me. Clean slate! It feels so good to not carry around a secret that eats away at the inside and makes me all jumpy and paranoid. That's a horrible feeling and a terrible way to live day in and day out. Even though I got my butt beaten and it's honestly a little hard to sit down today, I feel better and my husband and I are closer than we've ever been before.
That's the thing about domestic discipline that most people don't "get." They are quick to judge it as kinky or abusive or wrong, but they don't see the upside. When I do something I shouldn't, he holds me accountable, and that accountability makes me a better person because I am less likely to make the same mistakes over and over again, especially when I know the consequences. AND it helps him release frustration and extend forgiveness. Sometimes in marriage couples bury problems because they're too hard to talk about or too scary to face. With domestic discipline, the balance of submission and dominance helps couples face those issues together, as a united team and not as two people pitted against one another. It's a beautiful balance that most people don't understand because they can't get past the weirdness of it. It's not mainstream but if it were, maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be so high.
Sometimes he spanks me because I have done something wrong and deserve to be punished, like yesterday; and sometimes he spanks me because I need to be reminded of my submissive nature and to keep the submission/dominance balance, and other times he spanks me because we both need it. But whenever he spanks me, it is always out of love and because we are working together to make our relationship be the very best it can be.