Quiet Spankings When Kids Are Home

One of the questions we are ask most often is how can couples administer discipline when there are children in the home?  This makes things challenging for sure, but it can be done.  It takes a huge commitment to obedience and follow-thru.

Here are some pointers:

1.  Invest in a silent tool like a Loopy Johnny or a plastic hanger will work.

2.  Get a mindset that spankings will be quick and quiet and that any type of sexual gratifications will most likely be delayed until later.

3.  Come up with a code that the children do not recognize, but that tells your partner to go to the designated room and prepare for a spanking.   (If our children are home my husband touches the front of his belt buckle and I know that I need to go prepare.)

4.  The bathroom is a good place to administer discipline because you can turn on the shower or the fan to mask sound.

5.  Administer quick swats with a silent tool and then follow it with corner time.  If the message hasn't gotten through, administer another set of swats followed by more corner time.

6.  The moment an infraction is made issue discipline immediately.  This is crucial to the success of the dominant/submissive, loving relationship.  If you do not hold your partner accountable immediately they will begin to dis-respect your authority and they will begin to feel unloved and unnoticed.

7.  Don't make the mistake of taking it easy or being overly gentle during discipline.  If a rule was broken, punishment is earned.  It's that simple.  You are not being mean by giving your partner the discipline they deserve.  In fact, if you intentionally don't give a harsh spanking that has been earned, you are causing more damage than good.

8.  If you are new to DD or if you have taken a long break from it for whatever reasons, start over with a training period/boot camp.  That means each morning begin the day with a maintenance or reminder paddling and naked corner time.  Again, the bathroom is the ideal place for this.  Get up before the kids are awake, have your partner strip naked, bend her over the sink or the tub or your lap and issue a sound spanking with a quiet tool.  Send her immediately to the corner so that she can process your authority and her decision to submit to it.  This is very important to start her day off with the right mindset.  Likewise, before bed, after the kids are asleep, give her another maintenance spanking or address issues where she may have wavered in attitude or action during the day.  The goal is that every time she sits down she is reminded of your love and the safety of your authority.


These steps will help you but you've got to commit to doing them.  No arguing and no begging.  We have a rule in our home, if I argue or beg, it's 50 swats with his belt on top of whatever discipline I have already earned.

Why We Do DD

I don't have a lot of time to blog anymore but I do still keep a journal of our DD journey.  Someday I'll enter all of my journal entries into this blog.  The DD lifestyle is a journey indeed and we learn what works and what doesn't work as we try new things.  The past couple of months we've tried many things that haven't worked.  I'm going to post specifically about those later in the week, but today I want to tell you about why this lifestyle works for us.  Lots of people question it and even judge us for it.  Many people have said that it is abusive and that's what I want to clarify the most.  The DD lifestyle is not abusive at all.  In fact, it's the opposite of abuse.  It's pure, strong, unconditional love.

My husband has never hurt me, and by hurt I mean intentionally hit me or abused me in a way that was purposefully done to inflict harm.  He doesn't scream at me nor strike me.  He doesn't embarrass me in front of our family, friends or public places.  He respects me for who I am and loves me deeply and tenderly.  That's why this lifestyle works for us.

I want to be the best woman I can be.  I want to be a good person, a good mother and a good wife.  I want to be honest and non-judgmental and I never want to be lazy.  I want to be healthy for myself and for our family and I don't want to say or do things that will hurt myself or my kids or my husband.  By the same token, my husband wants to be the best man he can be.  He strives to be a protector and provider for us and to be an attentive father and husband.  He is gentle, affectionate and strong.  There is a natural balance in our marriage and it works well for us.

When things get out of balance, we argue and fight or sometimes begin to grow apart.  Like any marriage we have hit rough patches along the way.  Most, not all but most, of the rough patches were caused by me.  I carried a lot of guilt over this fact.  So, when I learned about the DD lifestyle, I brought the idea to my husband and asked him if we could try it.  I asked him to hold me accountable and to discipline me when necessary.

He was hesitant to comply at first but we began the journey together and it has only brought us closer.

I gave him a list of things I wanted to improve on and we discussed the list.  These things weren't HIS rules imposed on me.  They were my ideas and I brought them to him to help hold me accountable.

For example:  Over-spending.  I know that overspending puts stress on our family and I don't want to do that.  I can be an impulse shopper and I want a deterrent from impulse buying.  So, we decided on a budget and if I go over that budget, he will hold me accountable to it.  This usually means I am draped over his knee for a solid paddling and then into the corner naked to think about it and then bent over for a belt whipping to drive the point home.  I know when I overspend that I will be punished hard and I also know that I deserve that punishment.

Some people think this is cruel, but that's because they don't see the compassion and the love that goes into it.  I don't get beaten if I go a cent over budget.  If there are times I have to exceed the budget I call him and tell him why and then I am not punished.  It has taught me the value of money and the need to be selective in what I purchase and not be frivolous with our income.  When I blatantly ignore the budget is when I am held accountable and disciplined.

Spanking me is not abusing me.  Spanking me is protecting me and our marriage and our family from behaviors that can negatively affect us.  By taking me over his knee, he is assuring me that he will not let me, my mistakes or anything destroy us.

Sometimes it is hard to face the fact that I need to be disciplined.  When he puts my legs in the air and spanks me while looking me in the eyes and addressing why I am being punished, I feel embarrassed and ashamed.  But I know it is needed so that I will change my behavior.

The same hands that spank me are the ones that hold me and touch me and love me and it is an amazing bond.  I trust him with all of me and I know that he would never jeopardize us or our family on a whim.  Incorporating the DD lifestyle into our lives has saved our marriage and brought us closer than I ever thought we would be.  He is my very best friend.

NOW!

It's been a while since I've had a chance to blog because I got a part time job and have been tired by the end of every day.  My husband said I needed to get back at it so here I am.  We've had many discipline sessions since I last blogged but it would take forever to tell you about them, so I'll just talk about the spanking I got today, since my bottom is still burning from it.

I had been a smart mouth most of the day and my husband finally had enough.  I made a sarcastic remark and he put his arm around my waist and whispered in my ear.  "Go pull down your pants now."  I objected because our kids were home and two of our nephews were visiting so we had a houseful of kids, but he didn't care.  He had had it with my attitude and my remarks.  "NOW!" he whispered and gave my arm a deliberate squeeze.

I went into our bathroom, pulled down my pants and panties and bent over the side of the tub.  I thought I knew what was going to happen, he'd take the silent took, a loopy johnny, give me 15-20 quiet slaps and I'd be on my way, but boy was I ever wrong.  When he came into our bedroom, he locked the door and turned on the t.v. really loud.  It was a soccer game.  Then he came into the bathroom and locked that door behind him and turned on the shower and the fan.  I knew right then that he was planning on using more then just the silent tool.

He pulled me from over the tub and led me to the corner.  While I stood with my nose in the corner, he rubbed his hands over my bare ass and told me about the punishment I was going to get and why I was going to get it.  He talked about my attitude and my comments and explained that he wasn't going to tolerate this type of disrespectful behavior.  He ran his finger over my private part and stroked a few times while he explained that it was his job to keep me disciplined and on the right track and that he had been lax lately.  He then led me back to the tub where he asked me to bend over and rest my hands against the edge, so my bottom was outward, facing him.  He started with his belt and gave me 30 stinging slaps until I was crying and apologizing.  Then he had me lay down on my back and put my legs in the air so he could make eye contact with me while he spanked me.  He used the wooden paddle and gave me 20 swats, making me look him in the eye with every swat.  This was humiliating.  Looking at him while he punishes me is the worst because I can't hide the fact that I know I deserve what I'm getting.  After that he took me back into the bathroom and bent me over the tub and gave me a hard lashing with the silent tool until I was sobbing.

"I want you to think about your attitude."  He warned me and then he told me that no matter where we are or no matter if the kids are home, he will hold me accountable for my actions and my behavior.  My butt is so sore but I never feel more loved then when he takes the time to discipline me.

Face-to-Face

My hubbie just read my blog and wanted me to add something that I totally forgot about.  This has been a HUGE HUGE influence in helping me get to tears during a spanking and feel genuinely remorseful and embrace submission.

As I mentioned, he always begins with an OTK hand spanking to warm my bottom up, but even before that, when he first brings me toward him, he talks to me, eye-to-eye, face to face about my behavior.  This makes me focus on the fact that I am about to be punished because of MY own actions.  It helps me realize that I control my behavior and he is merely holding me accountable.  Sometimes, while he talks to me, he'll rub his hand over my bottom and other times he'll cup my pussy, not so much to arouse me but as an expression of his authority.  A reminder that I'm his, that he'd rather provide pleasure but when discipline is warranted he will provide pain.  The powerful thing about this is that I have to look him in the eyes and admit what I have done wrong.  "You spent two hundred and fifty two dollars over your credit card limit, didn't you?"  I nod, because I did.  "And you knew you were over the limit when you spent it, didn't you?"  I nod again. Guilty.  "What do you deserve for this?"  This is the part that's really hard for me, saying that I deserve to be given a hard spanking and sent to the corner.  "I deserve to be punished."

"And what should that punishment be?"  He sometimes asks me.

"A spanking."

Just having me say the words is humiliating.  Looking my husband in the eyes and admitting that I need him to take me over his knee for a whipping is embarrassing and that's part of the process of submission.

So, men, enforce it because it will have a long-term positive effect on your wife.

Hard to Sit Down

I was too exhausted to get back on the computer and blog yesterday after my spanking and my husband was compassionate enough to let me out of it.  Trust me when I say I will NEVER lie to him or hide anything from him again.  I am amazed that my bottom isn't bruised because he used every tool we own on it.  I was sent to the corner several times during the process, bent over his knee, over the side of the bed, over the back of a chair and finally had to touch my toes for a solid strapping.  That's my least favorite position.

But, I apologized and he forgave me.  Clean slate!  It feels so good to not carry around a secret that eats away at the inside and makes me all jumpy and paranoid.  That's a horrible feeling and a terrible way to live day in and day out.  Even though I got my butt beaten and it's honestly a little hard to sit down today, I feel better and my husband and I are closer than we've ever been before.

That's the thing about domestic discipline that most people don't "get."  They are quick to judge it as kinky or abusive or wrong, but they don't see the upside.  When I do something I shouldn't, he holds me accountable, and that accountability makes me a better person because I am less likely to make the same mistakes over and over again, especially when I know the consequences.  AND it helps him release frustration and extend forgiveness.  Sometimes in marriage couples bury problems because they're too hard to talk about or too scary to face.  With domestic discipline, the balance of submission and dominance helps couples face those issues together, as a united team and not as two people pitted against one another.  It's a beautiful balance that most people don't understand because they can't get past the weirdness of it.  It's not mainstream but if it were, maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be so high.

I know I am loved when my husband takes the time to notice my actions and hold me accountable, but it's not just about misbehaving or correcting mistakes.  Sometimes women need an emotional release and being put over her loving partner's knee opens the flood gates and provides that release.  Just having my husband look at me and instinctively know when I am all bottled up inside and knotted and tense, and then have him take the time to teach me submission and spank me when needed is an enormous action of love.  Likewise, there are times when I know he has had a bad day and is on edge and sometimes I will crawl over his lap, offering up my bottom as a sacrificial reliever of his stress.  Those spankings are never as hard as punishment spankings, but hard enough to release his tension and then they always result in us ravaging each other's bodies, which is stress release alone.

Sometimes he spanks me because I have done something wrong and deserve to be punished, like yesterday; and sometimes he spanks me because I need to be reminded of my submissive nature and to keep the submission/dominance balance, and other times he spanks me because we both need it.  But whenever he spanks me, it is always out of love and because we are working together to make our relationship be the very best it can be.

I am thankful that I have a man in my life who is strong enough to hold the reigns for me and keep us on course.  I don't know what I would do without him.

New Favorite Pics

Some of my new found favorite pics.  Hope you enjoy and have a very happy holiday season!

 

 

 

Submissive Susan

I am excited to share part of my conversation with Susan Sanchez, author of the Elise Dugar Episodes, a short story series on submission and domestic discipline.  She was very entertaining and I can’t wait to read her next books.  She zeros down on the true sensuality of submission and dominance in a way that I think a lot of writers miss; but that’s because she has a better understanding of it than most.  Susan Sanchez isn’t just an erotica writer, she’s a believer in the baring the bottom for the sake of love. 

 

What made you decide to write about submission and dominance?

 

I have seen personally and through others the benefits of this type of relational equilibrium, so I thought I would put it into words through short stories.

 

 

     Are you going to write more than the Elise Dugar Episodes?

 

Yes.  I’m actually writing a full-length novel about this type of balance.

 

 

     Would you consider your work to be similar to Fifty Shades of Grey?

 

No.  I enjoyed reading that series but the kink got a little old for me after a while.  I found myself skimming through those parts to get back to the story.  For me the hottest scenes in that series were the ones where she was spanked, plain and simple, without all of the tying up.  My books don’t include bondage.  They are simply about the freedom that comes with submission and the harmony derived from a submissive/dominant relationship.

 

                I love your books.  I, too, have felt that a lot of the books out there don’t realistically depict the domestic discipline side of things.  What do you think?

 

They don’t or at least most of the ones I’ve encountered.  There are some good non-fiction books on the subject but I haven’t seen really good fiction books.  They usually focus on the sexual activity and I understand why, because sex sells; but I don’t think the sex should be overly done as it is in so many of these types of books.  Submission and Dominance, when in effortless balance, in and of itself, has a deep sexual element.  My hope is to portray that sensuality in my books without having to be overly graphic in nature.

 

     Are your books selling well?

 

Yes.  It’s exciting to see that so many people are enjoying my stories and are asking for more.

 

        Do you get spanked on a regular basis?

 

I’m not sure how to define “regular” but yes, I know my place over the knee; and I do believe it is often a necessity.

 

     Have you experienced everything you write about?

 

That is a good question.  Yes, I have, with the exception of the fact that I’ve never tried to throw myself off of a balcony and I haven’t had sex with a hot fireman.  LOL.

 

     What is your most dreaded spanking implement?

 

The paddle with the holes in it.

 

     Why do you think spanking is so important in a relationship?

 

Well, for many of the same reasons you state in your blog.  It alleviates the feeling of being overwhelmed, helps adjust perspective, is emotionally calming, reduces tension, increases trust, gives a feeling of safety, proves a person is notices, accepted and loved, increases sexual bonding and ultimately brings partners closer together.  Sometimes love has to be tough love.  Often times tough love is the strongest of all.

 

 

     What would you like to say to my blog readers?

 

First, thank you for your interest in acquiring balance through submission and dominance.  Some of the happiest couples I know are those that employ this philosophy in their lives.  I wish you that same fulfillment.  Second, thank you for reading this interview and for your interest in my books.  Please tell your friends about my books.

 

     Where can we connect with you?

 

People can reach me on Facebook .  In fact, I would love it if you would “Like” my author page on Facebook.  You can also email me directly at AuthorSusanSanchez@gmail.com

 

You can also visit my Amazon Author page for more information on my books.

 

 

 

 

Exciting News!

Exciting News!

I got an email from the author of the Elise Dugar Episodes.  I guess my blog showed up linked to her name and so she was checking it out and saw that I was a fan of her books.  She's agreed to do an exclusive interview with me!  I'm so excited!  She said she'll give a sneak peek into what she's writing next. 

So, tune in on Wednesday (tomorrow) and meet author Susan Sanchez, author of the Elise Dugar Episodes.  If you haven't read them yet, you've got to read them!

If you don't know who I'm talking about, you can check her page out here:
http://www.amazon.com/Susan-Sanchez/e/B00GIA27C0/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_pop_1

Tune in tomorrow!

 

 

 

Dropping my Pants like F-bombs

My husband doesn’t like it when I curse.  It’s one of the things on my list of things for which I get disciplined.  Honestly, I don’t want to use bad language either but sometimes it just flows out of me.  Whenever I am upset or mad or feel there’s been an injustice or in pain or frustrated, well, you get the picture.  I tend to teeter on the edge of cursing a lot.

Today, my husband came up from his office downstairs right as I was talking to a girlfriend on the phone and venting some of my frustration.  I dropped several f-bombs before I realized he was in the room.  He told me to get off of the phone and bare my bottom immediately, which, of course I didn’t do because my girlfriend was in the middle of talking and it would have been rude to interrupt her.  That made my hubby twice as mad.

“Tell her you’ll call her back and hang up the phone now,” he said.

Finally, about ten minutes later when my girlfriend stopped talking, I made up an excuse why I had to go.  My husband had left a note for me on the kitchen table that read:  “Go get my black belt, the cane and the loopy johnny whip, get naked and come to my office.”

I got butterflies in my stomach when I saw the note.  I knew I was in for a big beating.  Part of me thought to grab my car keys and leave, but I knew once I returned it would be even worse.  So, I fetched the tools, took off my clothes and walked downstairs to his office.  He took the tools from me and told me to stand in the corner.  I did.  He told me that if I was going to be dropping F-bombs then I was going to be dropping my pants.  

 

After a few minutes in the corner, he took me over his knee and gave me a hard, hard, hard spanking with his hand.  My butt was burning hot already when he was through and told me to bend over the arm of the sofa.  He rarely makes me count swats, but he did today and I counted 55 swats with his belt.  My butt was on fire and I was fighting back the urge to cry.  He moved me to the coffee table and instructed me to bend over and place my hands on the table, sticking my butt out toward him.  He then gave me 25 lashes with the cane.  I finally cried.  The cane hurts really bad.  Back over his knee I went for forty swats with the loopy johnny whip while he lectured me on how the F word is not appropriate for a lady to say and should not be said in our home. 

I hope I’ve learned my lesson this time.  My bottom stings even as I sit here typing this.  I wish I didn’t curse and I’m going to try really hard to do better, otherwise I won’t be able to sit down EVER.

After my spanking was over, he kissed me and told me I had a clean slate.  He then told me to try and keep it clean longer than I had kept it clean before.  I’m going to try.  It never ceases to amaze me how much he loves me and how right I feel whenever he holds me accountable to the things in myself that I want to change.  I can’t do it alone and though I don’t like to be punished, I do like the fact that he’s strong enough to take me under his authority and give me a spanking when I need it.  A lot of people think this is strange, but I think it’s wonderful. 

Self-Spanking Works

My husband travels every single week, 3-4 days each week.  This has made my submission difficult because sometimes I get an attitude about how often he is gone and sometimes I mis-behave just to piss him off.  I always regret it.  That's for sure.   But, during the times when I am trying to do my best and dropping the ball miserably and he isn't around to discipline me, it is hard to set myself straight. 

We decided to reseach some alternative methods for when he was gone.  We read about people working together with other DD couples and having another person administer the necessary spanking.  A lot of folks do this but neither my husband nor I was comfortable with the idea.  I don't want to bare my bottom to anyone but my husband.

Another alternative was a spanking machine but they cost over a thousand dollars and even then there's no guarantee that I would really use it.

The third choice was self-spanking, but again I would be tempted to lie to him and tell him I did it when I didn't, or not to do it hard enough to be effective.  My husband and I decided to explore this one deeper, as it seemed the only viable option.  He disciplined me one night and then put the whip in my hand and had me administer 25 slaps to my own bottom while he watched.  He told me to be harder and faster, which really hurt more.  Then he put the wooden paddle in my hand and had me administer 25 more.  After that, he showed me how to record a self-spanking on my phone and text it to him.  This became the new rule when he was gone and it seems to be working pretty well.  Here's our guidelines:

1.  If I curse, I have to put a penny in the curse jar.  For every penny it is 10 swats with the whip.  If I get up to 5 pennies in the jar while he is gone, I must administer a self-spanking for punishment.  (that's 50 swats with the whip)

2. If it is less than 5 pennies while he is gone then he will deal with it when he gets home.  Every 5 pennies is another spanking session.

3.  Every self-punishment session is taped and text to him so that he can deem whether I am administering it hard enough and long enough.

4.  After every spanking I am to stand in the corner with my pants down for three minutes, at which time I text him the video.  If it is sufficient then I can get out of the corner and resume my day.  If he thinks I need more, he will text how many more swats to give myself and I will video those and send them.

I felt weird about all of this at first, but someone it is effective for us.  My language has gotten better and with him telling me how many swats and designating if it has been sufficient, I still feel like he is in control and I am under his firm and guiding hand. 

DD Breakthrough

Below is an article from a very close friend of me and my husband.  He and his wife have been living the DD lifestyle for many years and have actually taught us a lot.  Sometimes discipline gets stagnant, just as everything in life does.  When it does my ability to respect and be submissive goes by the wayside.  Our friend shared this Breakthrough procedure with us and it works wonders.  I hope this helps you, too.

DD Breakthrough

Most of my readers know that my wife and I have been in a DD (Domestic Discipline) marriage for over 15 years. We’ve had our ups and downs but even she would tell you that the benefits far outweigh the challenges.

My wife is 46 years old and I am 50 years old. We had a good balance of discipline and punishment in our home, up until this year when my wife’s behavior grew worse. Now, that is to say, worse for her. She is a kind, gentle, loving woman and a great mother to our children. But, our regular discipline no longer seemed to be working. Despite her weekly maintenance or what we call reminder spankings, I was having to punish her for things which were not the norm. Her cursing and disrespect elevated to new heights, as did her sarcasm and she was not able to be submissive. It was as if she were PMS-ing all day, every day, and even she would tell you she could not control her aggressive tendencies or attitude.

Finally, my wife went to see her doctor and we learned that she was going through menopause. A light bulb lit and I now understood why it wasn’t working for her and that she and I were going to have to start all over with her discipline.

We talked to some DD friends of ours who had a similar experience and learned that what worked best for them was a jump-start back into submission. It has worked miracles for us. It has calmed my wife and made her feel more relaxed and given her an overall better sense of well-being. She commented the other day that she felt more productive and peaceful after each discipline session and that she felt as though she had learned to trust me deeper. It has made our marriage and our home more peaceful and enjoyable. She said it and I agree that over the past several weeks we have laughed more and loved more.

Here is the system we implemented for our jump-start. I advise you follow it precisely, even though it appears rigid. The time intervals are important for two reasons: first, her bottom will need time to cool off in between sessions and second, the rigid schedule enforces her into an attitude of submission. You may change the times to fit your schedule but do not change the intervals between times. (i.e. if the schedule reads 9 and 11, you can change that to 8 and 10, as long as there remains 2 hours between sessions)

A jump start can be a 3-day, 5-day or 7-day session. The important thing is that you do not have off-days in between. If you can only do it 3 days in a row then choose and commit to the 3-day session.

3-Day Submission Session

Day 1

8:00am	Wife takes off clothing because nakedness is a form of submission. You can allow a robe if you choose, but she needs to be completely naked beneath. She presents husband with a list of her discipline needs.
8:05am	Have wife sit across from husband while he reads her list aloud. Husband reiterates hers and his expectations with regards to the items on the list and adds any new items they discuss. Husband needs to tell his wife that he is going to punish her for each of the items on the list as if she were in violation of each one. This is so she will be reminded of exactly what each infraction will bring her. Husband then instructs her to stand in the corner or assume a position bent over a chair, bed or countertop and await her punishment. This positioning readies her mind for submission.
8:15am	Husband issues punishment for each item listed. This spanking must be hard, fast and no-nonsense. Move from one implement to the next and swat rapidly so that she cannot prepare for the next swat. She must understand that when her behavior strays the consequences will be enforced without being clouded by compassion. You love her which is why you are giving her what she needs and has asked of you. Husbands must set the bar here so set it high. This session doesn’t end until she is weeping beneath your hand. If she fights, kicks or tries to block you, she earns 50 rapid swats with the most painful implement you possess. This is imperative to teaching her how to submit to you. When you are finished, instruct her to stay bent over and leave her there for several minutes until she stops crying. After this, making love is optional. Before you leave the room, instruct her that at 10:15am, she is to list the two items she needs the most work, get out the two implements she deserves most and bring them to you.
10:15am	When she brings you the list of two items and two implements, you discuss and decide how many swats she will receive for each item listed. It is recommended 75-100 swats per item. Again, this may seem like a lot, but this is a jump-start session that you don’t want your wife to forget. It will shape her going forward.
10:30am	Wife is to be fully naked and bring you the first implement. It is important that she come to you with the implement as a sign of her readiness to submit. She needs to come and ask you to give her a spanking. Spank her thoroughly and without stopping. When finished with the first item she is to stand in the corner naked until she feels ready to bring you the second implement and ask you to give her a spanking for the second item on her list. Spank her thoroughly and without stopping. While you are spanking her you need to verbally reaffirm that you are going to work together toward better behavior in this area and that you will hold her accountable.
12:00pm	Tell your wife to bear her bottom immediately no matter where in the home she is, bend her over whatever object is nearby and give her a hard, old-fashioned hand spanking. Don’t stop until she is shedding real tears and your hand and her bottom are bright red. On average this is 200+ swats.
2:30pm	Instruct you wife to bear her bottom and stand in the corner. If she objects in any way, verbally or nonverbally, then she receives a spanking. If she submits without objection, give her a few moments in the corner and then tell her she can pull up her pants and resume her day. This is a test of how submissive her attitude is. Don’t expect her to submit without objection the first day, but by the third day she will have succeeded in learning submission.

Day 2 and Day 3 are the same schedule, but instead of going over the same list of items you are working on mastering, she will need to provide different list items. For us, Day 2 was used as a past cleansing. Behaviors or actions from the past, some for which my wife had already been punished and cleansed, but she felt she needed to address them again or more specifically and have me hold her accountable. This was a freeing day for her and for me as well. There is a cleansing in confessing our sins to one another and allowing ourselves to be punished for that sin. There is also a freedom in being able to issue the punishment when you have been wronged, to say I am going to punish you and then forgive you. It is a powerful coming together for a man and a woman. I highly recommend the past cleansing for Day 2.

Day 3 is an internal cleansing. Your wife brings to you a list of internal things, things only she knows or feels that she wants you to either know or hold her accountable for. One of these items on my wife’s list was her being internally judgmental of others. We discussed her judgments and she felt better after I had given her a hard paddling for them. These are items only your wife can list and you must be willing to help her come to terms with and overcome them.

At the end of day 3, after having received three hard spankings each day, your wife’s bottom should be adequately sore, but her ability to trust you and submit in just 3 short days will amaze you.

This probably will not happen, but if your wife requires a punishment spanking during one of these three days, issue it as you normally would. Do not wait because her bottom is sore. If you wait she will view it as instability or weakness. If she has earned a spanking, give it to her with immediacy.

See posts labeled 5-Day or 7-Day for longer sessions.