Top Ten Tips to Make Your New Year a Spanking Success

Happy New Year DD friends!

We hope the new year will bring you resolutions of good behavior and when the behavior slips, we hope you will have good discipline in tact to provide stability in your home.  May you have more maintenance and less punishment spankings this year.

We decided to start 2016 off with some important information about how to bring balance and keep balance in your home.

Follow these steps and we guarantee you will find harmony in your relationship:

1.      1.  Sit down with your partner and write in a maintenance spanking schedule on your calendar.  If it is in writing it will be that much easier to stick to.  **This is especially important for couples who spend a lot of time apart due to their careers.  Choose the date and time and then stick to it. 

2.      2.   Re-evaluate your improvement list and add to it any new resolutions you have made.

3.       3.  Assign a punishment value to every item on the list.  **We have found that this is highly effective in deterring mis-behavior.  i.e. if she knows that ignoring her exercise plan will result in a consistent outpouring of 50 lashes with the cane, she will be more prone to make the choice to do the exercise.

 

4.       4.  Also assign a position to the list.  Your list might look something like this:

Cursing                                 -              25 swats with belt for each curse word           -      OTK

Attitude               -              50 swats with the hairbrush for each occurrence     -   Bent over bed

Exercise               -              50 caning swats     -   Standing with fingers locked behind head

Maintenance     -              10 minute hand spanking   -  OTK

Over-spending  -

Lying                   -

Adultery             -

And so on and so forth.  The new year is the time to assign new values and new positions and then commit yourself to stick to them.

5.       5.  Corner time is a MUST and you need to re-commit to enforcing it.  **Some women are opposed to corner time because they feel it is humiliating so derive an alternative.  A very effective alternative is to have her lie naked over the edge of the bed with her bottom exposed and write down why she is about to be punished and how she can avoid punishment in the future. This is less humiliating for the woman and it allows her to visually process her behavior as she writes it down.  It also gives the husband something to review with her before he begins the discipline session.

6.       6.  Get rid of the excuses!  **The biggest excuse we hear is that couples are rarely alone to execute punishment when needed.  This is fixable with a commitment from both parties.  If there are people in your home when punishment is earned, then leave your home.  Drive to a vacant parking lot, a vacant road, climb into the backseat and provide the discipline that is needed.  Don’t allow yourself to make excuses.  **If children are in the home, pretend to take a shower, turn on the water, the bathroom fan, lock the doors, provide a pillow for the partner being punished to cry into and use a silent tool.  It CAN be done and it MUST be done!

7.      7.   Guilt-Release Session   **We are learning more and more that women carry more guilt than men.  With regards to day-to-day issues men are able to release guilt faster and easier than women.  So, gents, it is your responsibility to help bring your wife or partner relief from the guilt she is experiencing and there’s no better time than the new year to start things off right!

WHAT A GUILT-RELEASE SESSION LOOKS LIKE

a.        The wife writes down a list of all of the things she feels guilty about.  This list might be day-to-day things, people she’s let down, mistakes she’s made in the past or present, etc.  Every woman is different and her list will be unique to her life experiences.

b.      Sit down together and read the list.  This is not a time for judgment or a time to argue that she should or should not feel the way she feels.  If an item is on the list, she is feeling guilty about it, and thusly it must be addressed in order for her to feel relief.  **Many women will cry just in sharing the list because they have a great amount of shame or humiliation attached to the issues they have written down.  This is normal and not an indication that they do not want to follow-through with the session.

c.       Depending on the length of the list, it may need to be broken down into more than one session.  This is permissible, but try to keep the sessions all in the same day.  i.e. one in the morning, one in the afternoon, one in the evening.

d.      Assign a punishment value to each item and write those next to the item.

e.      During the session, eye-contact is extremely important for two reasons:  1) Looking you in the eyes as you discuss the item makes her take full ownership in it.    2) Looking you in the eyes allows her to see your forgiveness and your unconditional love for her.  It makes her feel secure that even in her worse offense, you will not allow her to destroy the relationship. Your strength will bring your relationship back to a place of balance.

f.        Address each item verbally first and then administer the punishment.  **Sometimes an item prompts questions like, “what were you thinking?” or “why would you do that?”  This is okay.  Husbands will often encounter an item on her list that arises feelings of anger in them and that is acceptable.  Putting her over your knee is a means of cleansing both of you, acknowledging the anger she has made you feel and punishing her for the behavior, ultimately restoring balance in the relationship.

8.       8.  She must be naked during a discipline session.  **Couples try to squirm around this one but it is crucial to the success of DD.  Her nakedness is a symbol of her submission to you and of stripping down all exterior factors that stand between you. 

9.       9.  Immediate Punishment is of the utmost important because it is what builds her trust in your ability to lead the home.  **Men, you must prove to her that your word is true and thusly you must do what you say you are going to do.  The more she trusts your follow-through, the quicker she will learn to submit to you and the more peaceful your relationship will be.

1    10. Alone time after a punishment session is needed for at least 3-5 minutes for her to process her behavior and your strength in correcting her.  After the time has lapsed, come back to her and then be affectionate.  **We are learning more and more that immediate sexual gratification is inhibiting the dominant-submissive connection, but adding in affection after a short time of reflection strengthens the connection.

That’s it!  Your top ten new year’s resolutions to start the year off aces!

This message was sent to our newsletter patrons as well but we thought it was helpful and wanted to share with everyone!  Happy New Year!

P.S.  Now, I'm off to get a spanking for being 6 days late at getting the newsletter out.  He asked me three times to get it down and I kept procrastinating.  I am sorry for my delay and I know in about 15 minutes I'm going to be a whole lot sorrier.  He's already laid his belt across the chair and my stomach is trembling with anticipation.  This will be my first punishment spanking of 2016 and I'm certain he's going to make it leave a lasting impression.  

Male Perspective on Spanking

Heather hasn't been blogging lately because her attitude has been less than desirable and her blogs were not uplifting, so she deleted them.  In her absence she has received a lot of emails asking where she is and if she's going to be continuing her blog.  The answer is yes.  January for us held a new awakening in discipline and she is excited to tell you about it.  First we decided it would be best if I presented a husband view and answered some of the male questions, and then she will begin blogging and sharing from the female perspective and answer those questions.

Being the man and the head of the household isn't always easy.  I think some people get it in their heads that I always want to discipline my wife when that isn't the case.  There are times when she needs a spanking but I don't feel like doing it.  It's at those times when I have to press forward and honor my commitment to her and to us and take her over my knee.  As the head of the home, it is my job to maintain peace and order so keeping a tight handle on my wife's attitude and respectful behavior is imperative to the overall health and harmony in our home.

Men, you must follow these simple rules if discipline is going to work for you:

1.  Conduct a boot camp at least once every quarter.  It serves as a reminder to her of the difference between punishment spankings and maintenance spankings and it will make her appreciate the maintenance ones.  It also helps teach her to be submissive in attitude, not weak, submissive.  It takes a woman a great deal of strength to submit to a man.  Don't underestimate this and your job to teach her how to do it.

2.  Give her a reminder paddling every night before bed.  If she objects, increase the paddling.  She will sleep better and wake up with a good outlook on life.

3.  Remember gentleman that a hard spanking provides your love with emotional release that inevitably lowers her stress level, calms her irritability and fights depression.  You are literally doing her a favor by giving her a hard throttling and you should, for this reason, spank her bottom until she cries and achieves the needed release.  If you quit too soon you have done nothing for either of you.

4.  A spanking session is also a release for you, men, and that is acceptable.  If she has made you angry, it is acceptable to paddle her and release that anger.

5.  You must send her to the corner with her panties down and her bare red bottom exposed.  This is an act of submission that she must do.  If she objects spank her until she is more agreeable.

6.  Kids at home is not a reason to avoid a spanking so don't allow her to use this excuse.  It is the number one excuse women use to get out of being punished.  Get a signal and a quiet tool so the children or guests in your home will not know.  Touch your belt and motion her upstairs or downstairs.  Step into a bathroom and turn on the fan and the shower, or go into the bedroom and lock the door.  Paddle her hard and fast with a silent tool (a hangar works like magic) until she cries.  Reprimand her quietly while you give her a hearty spanking.  If she objects, add to the punishment.  By this I mean, if you cannot spank her longer right then, you tell her she is to come back to this room in thirty minutes for another beating.

7.  Know your list of infractions and hold her accountable for every item on the list.  If she curses, issue a beating immediately.  If she overspends her limit, issue a beating immediately.  If she backtalks or disrespects your authority, pull her pants down right then and there and give her a thrashing.  YOU control whether she succeeds at learning submission.

8.  If you travel as I do, it is harder but not impossible.  The first night you get home, give her a spanking as a reminder of the behavior you expect to see in her.  Impose upon her that she keeps a journal while you are away in which she makes note of her infractions.  Hold her accountable for each one with a solid spanking.

9.  If her behavior slips while in public, take her into a family-style restroom that locks and whip her with your belt.  If a restroom is not available, take her into the parking lot and give her a whipping in the back of the car.  Even the smallest of cars can accommodate a spanking.  If you are unable to take care of it right at the moment, tell her privately that when you are alone in the car or at home that she is to take down her pants and remind you that she has earned a punishment spanking.  If you put the burden of remembering on her, it will impact her that much more.

10.  You cannot spank your wife too much or too often.  The worst mistake is to make her feel like you don't care and the way in which you do that is to stop holding her accountable.  Her bottom should bare your handprint or the marks of your belt 24/7.

Good luck, gents!

Ouch!

 

Another spanking on an already red bottom..........

 

 

Belted

I've been reading these books on discipline and I've blogged about a couple of them.  Well, this last one I thought was so good I shared it with my hubby, who made the comment that the way the man in book responded was exactly how he would have responded too.  It led us to some pretty deep conversations.  For example:  In the book the man spanks the woman in the stairwell of their apartment building where anyone could have walked in and seen or even overheard what was happening. 

I asked my hubby:  Would you spank me somewhere public like that, where someone might see us?

He said:  If you did to me what she did to him I'd have dragged your ass into the middle of the street and whipped you in plain sight of everyone.

Me:  Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.  That would not be good.

We ended up arguing about what the man could and couldn't do, what was considered "right" or "wrong" and "fair" or "unfair."

Needless to say it escalated into a full on fight and I ended up bent over the counter in the kitchen getting a whipping with his belt.  He chose the belt because that was the name of the book:  Belting Love

He gave me a hard whipping for my attitude and then took me over his knee right before bed for a reminder spanking.  My butt was burning as I crawled into bed.

 

Anyway, despite the fact that I got in trouble ..........AGAIN........ I really am enjoying these books.  If you're an Amazon Prime member like me you can download them for free!  Just click on the pics for the links:

I totally recommend them for men and women, and they are really hot when you read them together.  But watch out for the discussions that follow.  They can get you into a bit of trouble.  :)

Waiting is the Worst

Sometimes waiting for my punishment is the hardest part.  I just want to get it over with but he makes me sit and wait, knowing I'll be stewing over it all day.  I feel myself swell with desire and I can't help getting wet.  At the same time my stomach twists into nervous knots.  I don't look forward to the painful spanking, but I do love the release and the warmth that floods me afterwards.

Right now I am waiting for him to call me to the spare bedroom, strip me naked and place me in the corner where I'll have to wait until he thinks I am ready to receive my punishment.  When I have been really bad, he spanks me in the spare bedroom instead of our bedroom.  I know I have a beating coming.  He's already told me it has been long overdue and my attitude needs severe adjusting.  The thing is, he's right and I want him to adjust me.  I'm a better person when I'm submitting to him.

Here he comes now.  I'll post about it afterwards.  Wish me luck.

"Go Upstairs and Get Ready"

"Go upstairs and get ready," he said to me and my stomach wrapped into tight knots.  I knew what this sentence really meant.  It meant I was going to get a spanking, and it wasn't going to be a light, maintenance or reminder spanking; I was going to be paddled hard.

I reluctantly went upstairs, took off my clothes and put on my satin robe.  I retrieved his tools, hoping that he wouldn't use all of them and then came the hardest part, the waiting.  My stomach churned and my bottom tensed from the anticipation.

When he entered the room, I could tell he was still angry.  I had been disrespectful and my language had been exceptionally bad.  I knew what was coming. 

"I'm sorry," I said, as he pulled me up, removed my robe and laid me across his lap. 

"Not as sorry as your going to be," he answered calmly and began rubbing my bottom while verbally reprimanding me and telling me he expected better behavior.

He used his hand first, as he always does, warming me up for what was coming.  Then, he spanked me with the wooden paddle and the cane.  My bottom was bright and hot, when he pulled me up and told me to place my hands on the dresser and stick my buttocks out.  He then took the leather strap to my bottom, fifty lashes with the strap.

I had to stand for three minutes in the corner and think about my punishment.  When the three minutes was up, he asked if I felt I had been sufficiently disciplined and if I was ready to have a clean slate and move forward.  I said I was, but he could tell in my demeanor that I had yet to fully release.  He pulled me back over his lap and gave me a long, hard hand-spanking until I finally broke into sobs.

The crying was the sign that I had released the tension and was ready to move forward.  I felt so much better. 


It was a painful discipline session, but I needed it and he needed to give it to me, especially after the way I had been behaving.  I'm so thankful he loves me enough to take me over his knee and help me become all that I want to be.