Wednesday, February 21, 2018
Monday, July 24, 2017
It Will Save Your Marriage
We got a lot of emails asking us to outline our DD methods and what works best. We're happy to share what we do but you need to know that what works for one couple might not be the right tactic for another. You have to be willing to try new things and change things that aren't working.
TIPS
The trick to submission and dominance is consistency. When consistency fails, the whole thing breaks down. The woman starts to feel unloved, unwanted and unnoticed. She begins to harbor resentment and sadness and anger toward her husband. He feels this change and becomes defensive because he doesn't understand why she is behaving this way toward him. It can quickly become a dark spiral of marital turmoil. So if you are going to commit to a DD relationship, you have to have a solid commitment from both partners in order for both partners to reap the benefits.
HER BENEFITS BY BEING SUBMISSIVE
Submission to the man she loves makes her feel loved and gives her the freedom to relinquish her heart completely to him, trusting him with every element of their lives. When she knows that she no longer has the power to destroy the marriage, she relaxes and becomes a being that is peace-filled and stable. He holds the reins and this allows her to rest in his love. If she misbehaves, or does something that could be damaging to the marriage, he will hold her accountable. There will be restitution and resolution through her submission. It gives her a feeling of safety. It is an unbelievable feeling when the man you love will take you over his knee to clean the slate, save you from yourself and ultimately protect the marriage.
HIS BENEFITS BY BEING DOMINANT
Men were designed to be the dominant partner. They are the protector and provider and defender by nature. Dominance isn't about power but about love. It can be difficult to punish the woman you love, especially when you know that spanking her bottom brings physical pain. It takes great strength to be the dominant male. In taking the woman he loves over his knee and helping her to shape her behavior, he gains the security of knowing her love is so deep and her trust in him so mighty that she will submit her body to him. One body, one flesh. When he disciplines her, he shapes the marriage as well, forcing turmoil away and opening the doorway for peace in their home and their hearts. He gains the security of her love.
Fewer couples who participate in DD end up in divorce. The divorce rate for couples is over 55% in the US and Britain. For DD couples it is under 10%. In additional, fewer DD couples engage in extra-marital affairs than other couples. They also fight less about money and statistically engage in sexual activity more frequently. Bringing the balance of submission and dominance into your marriage is relationship altering and the equivalent of marital salvation. It brings the male-female nature into harmony. DD is not about beating your wife into submission. It is about finding a pathway toward submission together. It is not about power but about offering each other an exchange of unconditional love. It is a love that no matter the infraction, it can prevail. No matter the pain, it can overcome. It gives partners the security and safety every marriage needs.
BOOT CAMP
Start and re-start your marriage with a boot camp. Boot camp is a step-by-step guide to submission and it is crucial in getting the mindset right and bringing your marriage into balance.
We recommend a 3-4 day short boot camp that looks something like this:
Day 1:
a) Upon waking up, husband needs to inform his wife that she will be receiving a spanking at such and such a time and give her instructions. (i.e. at 9:50am remove all of your clothing and stand in the corner reflecting on what infractions you will be punished for going forward. At 9:55am, bring all of the tools downstairs and bend over the couch. At 10:00am we will discuss each item and give a sample whipping for each.) Spanking should be long, hard and include many instruments. You are setting the tone for what is expected. Example: If you lie to me, you will receive a minimum of 50 lashes with the cane. Issue that punishment so your expectations and the consequences are clear. Do this with each item and assign a tool to it. She mush be spanked to tears for the message to get through. If she is not crying, you are not doing it hard or long or fast enough. When the session is finished, send her back to the corner for a minimum of 3 minutes. Do not make love or be intimate until she has had corner time to process the meaning of her actions and the resulting consequences. When the 3 minutes is up then you may indulge in intimacy in any way you like.
b) In the afternoon, give her a spontaneous hard hand-spanking (minimum of 100-150 swats) Explain to her that you will always be watching and you will be quick to respond with punishment if her behavior warrants it.
c) Before bedtime talk with her about how important an attitude of submission is to the success of your marriage. Tell her what you expect and the things you will not tolerate. Take off her clothing, have her lie on her back, raise her legs into the air so that you and she are looking at each other and her bottom is exposed to you, and give her a hard, fast, hand spanking while maintaining eye contact. This lets her know that you see her, all of her, the good and the bad, that you love her for who she is, that she needn't ever hide anything from you. This eye contact while you are spanking her is a very important step in her being able to trust you. Submission is built on trust so she must see that you will look her in the face even when she has done something wrong and love her enough to relieve her of the guilt and shame by punishing her. Again, spank her to tears and then share in intimacy and hold each other through the night.
Day 2:
Use similar techniques for Day 2, except instead of focusing on the behaviors that will bring on punishment, focus on past behaviors for which she believes she needs to atone. Common ones are lies, past fights, inappropriate flirtations, infidelity, manipulations, etc. Address these without anger or blaming or fighting. She must tell you what each one is and then one-by-one in separate sessions throughout the day and night, you clean whatever it is from her slate. This allows her to forgive herself once and for all and to put the shame away. These sessions can be emotional and they must be to tears.
Day 3:
Use similar techniques from Day 2, except today is about you and your feelings and clearing your slate from the frustrations and pain of the past. Some of those things might be the same things that she mentioned yesterday and some may be applicable only to you. Address each one and express how they made you feel. One-by-one in separate sessions throughout the day and night allow her to come to you and offer herself for the sake of your restitution. She must bare herself as a gift to you, giving her body for your cleansing and the cleansing of the marriage. If Day 1 and Day 2 have gone well, this will be something she desperately wants to do. These spankings are true punishment for her and healing for you. Example: if she has wronged you with infidelity, you owe it to her and to yourself to free yourself of those emotions once and for all, even when you have buried them deep and put them away. Allow them to resurface and instead of using hateful words that will demean and crush the marriage, use your belt safely and sternly across her bottom to say what you feel and reveal a cleansed and renewed bond. This is a difficult day for husbands because it entails tapping into your emotions and then letting them out. But, when you do this, it will free your mind and unburden your heart in ways you never imagined.
After boot camp, it is important that you develop a consistent and constant schedule of discipline. A daily reminder spanking is the best, most successful route. If you can't do that, then work out a schedule to be able to do it on days when you are together. Get a spanking machine and watch via skype or facetime if needed. Teach self-spanking if that is a viable option with your spouse. If you travel a lot like me, your wife's bottom should be bright red every day you are home to make up for the days you are gone. It is your duty. Have her chart or write nightly to you, defining any infractions so that you can cater the machine to issue a punishment in your absence or so that you can design a punishment strategy for when you arrive home. Be willing to alter the schedule when needed.
IMPORTANT: Sometime after boot camp, spank her in public. Not in front of other people but in a public place so that she knows that just because you are in public it doesn't mean you aren't willing and ready to take her over your knee. If you're on the road, pull over at a private spot, have her bend over the back seat with her bare bottom exposed and give her a hard hand spanking. If you are in a restaurant or mall, go to the bathroom, take off your belt and give her a strapping she won't forget. At a friend or relative's house, take her discreetly into the bathroom, bend her over the sink and whip her with a belt or a plastic hangar or a hair brush handle. It is imperative that she understands that you still hold the reins even in public.
OUR CURRENT SCHEDULE
Mon - Thursday: Heather receives a reminder spanking with the machine in the morning.
Friday - Sunday: Heather receives a reminder spanking from me in the morning.
Friday afternoon: We address any of the infractions she wrote down in her journal that week and discuss what her punishment will be. She stands naked in the corner to reflect on what she will receive.
Friday evening: She receives a punishment session. These can last up to an hour as they include addressing every infraction individually and corner time.
During the weekend Heather receives punishment spankings whenever her behavior warrants it, which is typically two-to-three times per weekend.
Find what works for you and DO IT!
TIPS
The trick to submission and dominance is consistency. When consistency fails, the whole thing breaks down. The woman starts to feel unloved, unwanted and unnoticed. She begins to harbor resentment and sadness and anger toward her husband. He feels this change and becomes defensive because he doesn't understand why she is behaving this way toward him. It can quickly become a dark spiral of marital turmoil. So if you are going to commit to a DD relationship, you have to have a solid commitment from both partners in order for both partners to reap the benefits.
HER BENEFITS BY BEING SUBMISSIVE
HIS BENEFITS BY BEING DOMINANT
Men were designed to be the dominant partner. They are the protector and provider and defender by nature. Dominance isn't about power but about love. It can be difficult to punish the woman you love, especially when you know that spanking her bottom brings physical pain. It takes great strength to be the dominant male. In taking the woman he loves over his knee and helping her to shape her behavior, he gains the security of knowing her love is so deep and her trust in him so mighty that she will submit her body to him. One body, one flesh. When he disciplines her, he shapes the marriage as well, forcing turmoil away and opening the doorway for peace in their home and their hearts. He gains the security of her love.
BENEFITS FOR BOTH
BOOT CAMP
Start and re-start your marriage with a boot camp. Boot camp is a step-by-step guide to submission and it is crucial in getting the mindset right and bringing your marriage into balance.
We recommend a 3-4 day short boot camp that looks something like this:
Day 1:
a) Upon waking up, husband needs to inform his wife that she will be receiving a spanking at such and such a time and give her instructions. (i.e. at 9:50am remove all of your clothing and stand in the corner reflecting on what infractions you will be punished for going forward. At 9:55am, bring all of the tools downstairs and bend over the couch. At 10:00am we will discuss each item and give a sample whipping for each.) Spanking should be long, hard and include many instruments. You are setting the tone for what is expected. Example: If you lie to me, you will receive a minimum of 50 lashes with the cane. Issue that punishment so your expectations and the consequences are clear. Do this with each item and assign a tool to it. She mush be spanked to tears for the message to get through. If she is not crying, you are not doing it hard or long or fast enough. When the session is finished, send her back to the corner for a minimum of 3 minutes. Do not make love or be intimate until she has had corner time to process the meaning of her actions and the resulting consequences. When the 3 minutes is up then you may indulge in intimacy in any way you like.
b) In the afternoon, give her a spontaneous hard hand-spanking (minimum of 100-150 swats) Explain to her that you will always be watching and you will be quick to respond with punishment if her behavior warrants it.
c) Before bedtime talk with her about how important an attitude of submission is to the success of your marriage. Tell her what you expect and the things you will not tolerate. Take off her clothing, have her lie on her back, raise her legs into the air so that you and she are looking at each other and her bottom is exposed to you, and give her a hard, fast, hand spanking while maintaining eye contact. This lets her know that you see her, all of her, the good and the bad, that you love her for who she is, that she needn't ever hide anything from you. This eye contact while you are spanking her is a very important step in her being able to trust you. Submission is built on trust so she must see that you will look her in the face even when she has done something wrong and love her enough to relieve her of the guilt and shame by punishing her. Again, spank her to tears and then share in intimacy and hold each other through the night.
Day 2:
Use similar techniques for Day 2, except instead of focusing on the behaviors that will bring on punishment, focus on past behaviors for which she believes she needs to atone. Common ones are lies, past fights, inappropriate flirtations, infidelity, manipulations, etc. Address these without anger or blaming or fighting. She must tell you what each one is and then one-by-one in separate sessions throughout the day and night, you clean whatever it is from her slate. This allows her to forgive herself once and for all and to put the shame away. These sessions can be emotional and they must be to tears.
Day 3:
Use similar techniques from Day 2, except today is about you and your feelings and clearing your slate from the frustrations and pain of the past. Some of those things might be the same things that she mentioned yesterday and some may be applicable only to you. Address each one and express how they made you feel. One-by-one in separate sessions throughout the day and night allow her to come to you and offer herself for the sake of your restitution. She must bare herself as a gift to you, giving her body for your cleansing and the cleansing of the marriage. If Day 1 and Day 2 have gone well, this will be something she desperately wants to do. These spankings are true punishment for her and healing for you. Example: if she has wronged you with infidelity, you owe it to her and to yourself to free yourself of those emotions once and for all, even when you have buried them deep and put them away. Allow them to resurface and instead of using hateful words that will demean and crush the marriage, use your belt safely and sternly across her bottom to say what you feel and reveal a cleansed and renewed bond. This is a difficult day for husbands because it entails tapping into your emotions and then letting them out. But, when you do this, it will free your mind and unburden your heart in ways you never imagined.
After boot camp, it is important that you develop a consistent and constant schedule of discipline. A daily reminder spanking is the best, most successful route. If you can't do that, then work out a schedule to be able to do it on days when you are together. Get a spanking machine and watch via skype or facetime if needed. Teach self-spanking if that is a viable option with your spouse. If you travel a lot like me, your wife's bottom should be bright red every day you are home to make up for the days you are gone. It is your duty. Have her chart or write nightly to you, defining any infractions so that you can cater the machine to issue a punishment in your absence or so that you can design a punishment strategy for when you arrive home. Be willing to alter the schedule when needed.
IMPORTANT: Sometime after boot camp, spank her in public. Not in front of other people but in a public place so that she knows that just because you are in public it doesn't mean you aren't willing and ready to take her over your knee. If you're on the road, pull over at a private spot, have her bend over the back seat with her bare bottom exposed and give her a hard hand spanking. If you are in a restaurant or mall, go to the bathroom, take off your belt and give her a strapping she won't forget. At a friend or relative's house, take her discreetly into the bathroom, bend her over the sink and whip her with a belt or a plastic hangar or a hair brush handle. It is imperative that she understands that you still hold the reins even in public.
OUR CURRENT SCHEDULE
Mon - Thursday: Heather receives a reminder spanking with the machine in the morning.
Friday - Sunday: Heather receives a reminder spanking from me in the morning.
Friday afternoon: We address any of the infractions she wrote down in her journal that week and discuss what her punishment will be. She stands naked in the corner to reflect on what she will receive.
Friday evening: She receives a punishment session. These can last up to an hour as they include addressing every infraction individually and corner time.
During the weekend Heather receives punishment spankings whenever her behavior warrants it, which is typically two-to-three times per weekend.
Find what works for you and DO IT!
Sometimes We All Need A Little Help
I don't blog as much as I used to because there just isn't enough time and we've been trying some other methods of discipline that don't involve me blogging about every time I am given a whipping. We have tried a lot of things and I want to tell you about the most recent ones that have really worked well for us.
As all of you guys know my hubby travels for work and sometimes works from home in his home office that is in our basement. I've gotten many spankings in his office at home, so much that whenever he calls me down there I get those nerves of anticipation in my belly. Lately, like the past year, he's been traveling over seas more and those are longer trips. It's taken a toll on me and on our marriage in a way because we haven't been as joined together as we used to be. I have gotten lonely sometimes and started doing more stuff with my friends and our neighbors.
Three months ago, my hubby was home and we had some of our neighbors over for dinner and drinks and games. One neighbor, Mitch, I've been hanging out with more often then the others lately and I guess maybe we've been a little more flirty then we should have been. He rubbed his thumb over my shoulder during our card game and my husband noticed it right away. When everybody left for the night, my hubby asked me if I had fucked Mitch. It blew up into a horrible fight and we realized that I was angry at him for being gone so much and he was angry at me for being lonely and needing more attention. He asked me if I wanted to fuck Mitch and though I had never done anything with Mitch, I couldn't deny that his attention felt really good to me. My husband asked me if I had been unfaithful to him? No. I hadn't, not with my body but with my thoughts, maybe I had. I broke down sobbing feeling awful and angry. What was worse was he didn't spank me for my admission of having unfaithful thoughts. He didn't do anything.
Weeks went by and it was awful. I thought our marriage was ending. Then a package came in the mail and he took it downstairs to his office without showing it to me. My mind started to wonder if he was seeing someone on the side and that's why he didn't punish me for having thoughts about Mitch. A few hours later he called me downstairs and told me that he didn't punish me for my thoughts about Mitch because he knew that the way I was feeling was partially his fault. He said he had neglected me and our marriage and had let his work get in the way of our health. He apologized to me and told me how important I was to him and how much he loved me. I couldn't believe it. I was so relieved to hear him take responsibility for us and to hear him acknowledge that he had left me and left our marriage behind to his job. We made love on the couch in his office and it was beautiful.
Afterwards, as I was starting to get dressed, he told me to leave my panties off. I knew immediately what that meant. He was going to spank me. He told me that he was going to discipline me for allowing myself to become flirty with Mitch and for letting myself entertain romantic notions about him. I knew I deserved this punishment. He bent me over the arm of the couch, slid his belt from his pants that were on the floor, and gave me a long, hard whipping. He then sent me to the corner to think about why I allowed myself to be flirty with another man. He then brought me back over to the couch and over his knee where he gave me a hard hand spanking until I cried in his arms, admitting that I knew it was wrong and asking for his forgiveness.
Back to the corner to think about how my actions brought on these consequences. Then he told me to put my hands atop his desk and bend over. I did and awaited the sting of his belt but it didn't come. Instead he sat down in his chair behind his desk, facing me. He pushed a button on a remote and I heard a whirring sound and then felt the slap of a paddle. I looked at him, confused for a moment and then realized that he had placed a spanking machine on the desk. It was set for ten minutes. He folded his arms and watched quietly as I received several more slaps with the paddle. "Every day that I am traveling, you will come down here, take off your panties, bend over my desk and get a spanking to remind you that even when I'm not here, I still care about you, about your behavior and about our marriage." I cried as he spoke.
He set the machine to maximum levels so it would issue a hard spanking every time. I've been using it regularly at his request. I haven't even thought about Mitch or any other man. Sometimes, when I have infractions in other areas and he is gone, he will call me at night, instruct me to go downstairs for my punishment and then stay on the phone talking to me while I get a spanking.
Our marriage is better, we are connected and close again and it's all thanks to a spanking machine. If you or your spouse travels and you've felt the disconnect and the loneliness and haven't been able to discipline or be disciplined the way you know is needed for a healthy marriage, get one of these machines, lay down the rules and obey them. You will be better!
https://www.spankermachine.com/index.php?lang=en
As all of you guys know my hubby travels for work and sometimes works from home in his home office that is in our basement. I've gotten many spankings in his office at home, so much that whenever he calls me down there I get those nerves of anticipation in my belly. Lately, like the past year, he's been traveling over seas more and those are longer trips. It's taken a toll on me and on our marriage in a way because we haven't been as joined together as we used to be. I have gotten lonely sometimes and started doing more stuff with my friends and our neighbors.
Three months ago, my hubby was home and we had some of our neighbors over for dinner and drinks and games. One neighbor, Mitch, I've been hanging out with more often then the others lately and I guess maybe we've been a little more flirty then we should have been. He rubbed his thumb over my shoulder during our card game and my husband noticed it right away. When everybody left for the night, my hubby asked me if I had fucked Mitch. It blew up into a horrible fight and we realized that I was angry at him for being gone so much and he was angry at me for being lonely and needing more attention. He asked me if I wanted to fuck Mitch and though I had never done anything with Mitch, I couldn't deny that his attention felt really good to me. My husband asked me if I had been unfaithful to him? No. I hadn't, not with my body but with my thoughts, maybe I had. I broke down sobbing feeling awful and angry. What was worse was he didn't spank me for my admission of having unfaithful thoughts. He didn't do anything.
Weeks went by and it was awful. I thought our marriage was ending. Then a package came in the mail and he took it downstairs to his office without showing it to me. My mind started to wonder if he was seeing someone on the side and that's why he didn't punish me for having thoughts about Mitch. A few hours later he called me downstairs and told me that he didn't punish me for my thoughts about Mitch because he knew that the way I was feeling was partially his fault. He said he had neglected me and our marriage and had let his work get in the way of our health. He apologized to me and told me how important I was to him and how much he loved me. I couldn't believe it. I was so relieved to hear him take responsibility for us and to hear him acknowledge that he had left me and left our marriage behind to his job. We made love on the couch in his office and it was beautiful.
Afterwards, as I was starting to get dressed, he told me to leave my panties off. I knew immediately what that meant. He was going to spank me. He told me that he was going to discipline me for allowing myself to become flirty with Mitch and for letting myself entertain romantic notions about him. I knew I deserved this punishment. He bent me over the arm of the couch, slid his belt from his pants that were on the floor, and gave me a long, hard whipping. He then sent me to the corner to think about why I allowed myself to be flirty with another man. He then brought me back over to the couch and over his knee where he gave me a hard hand spanking until I cried in his arms, admitting that I knew it was wrong and asking for his forgiveness.
Back to the corner to think about how my actions brought on these consequences. Then he told me to put my hands atop his desk and bend over. I did and awaited the sting of his belt but it didn't come. Instead he sat down in his chair behind his desk, facing me. He pushed a button on a remote and I heard a whirring sound and then felt the slap of a paddle. I looked at him, confused for a moment and then realized that he had placed a spanking machine on the desk. It was set for ten minutes. He folded his arms and watched quietly as I received several more slaps with the paddle. "Every day that I am traveling, you will come down here, take off your panties, bend over my desk and get a spanking to remind you that even when I'm not here, I still care about you, about your behavior and about our marriage." I cried as he spoke.
Our marriage is better, we are connected and close again and it's all thanks to a spanking machine. If you or your spouse travels and you've felt the disconnect and the loneliness and haven't been able to discipline or be disciplined the way you know is needed for a healthy marriage, get one of these machines, lay down the rules and obey them. You will be better!
https://www.spankermachine.com/index.php?lang=en
Monday, February 13, 2017
Waiting
It's been a while since I've blogged but that doesn't mean it's been a while since I've had my bottom spanked. My husband took the pre-spanking blogging requirement off of my list for a while but added it back on today because he said we've been getting a lot of emails requesting the blog to be updated. So here I am writing this while waiting to be disciplined. Actually, I'm waiting to be punished and I know that I've got what's coming.
For the past six or seven months I've really only gotten maintenance spankings with the exception of two instances when I earned a punishment and he gave me a walloping. The first was when I had had too much to drink and I got mouthy with him and with his brother and his wife. We disagreed on some issues that I won't go into here but my hubby wasn't happy with the way I handled myself at dinner. He warned me twice by giving me a look and touching his belt buckle, which is the sign that I am treading on thin ice, but I didn't care. I had drank too much and I was hell bent on saying my piece. He excused us to the bathroom, bent me over the sink and whipped my bare bottom until I was red, sore and apologizing.
The second instance was when I spent too much money on the credit card, which is now a new item added to my list. I knew I had gone overboard but I guess I was hoping he wouldn't notice. When the bill came, he called me to his office in the basement, showed me the charges and then informed me that after the kids were in bed I was going to be punished. That night he took me down to his office, locked the basement door so the kids couldn't come down, took off all of my clothes and had me stand in the corner for 3 minutes. The anticipation was killing me. He then bent me over the top of his desk, and gave me a whipping, first with his belt, then the wooden paddle and then the cane. I was crying when he sent me back to the corner for another 3 minutes to think about why I was being punished. After that, he put me over his knee and spanked me long and hard until I sobbed. I was crying more from the embarrassment of earning the punishment than from physical pain, though it does hurt when he paddles me.
Other than those two times, I've only received maintenance or reminder spankings, except for the one that's about to happen now. This punishment is coming because of a culmination of my attitude and my jealousy, which he doesn't tolerate, especially since he hasn't given me any reason to be jealous. I know I need to be disciplined and I know I will be better after it, but I still get anxious and fearful that it's going to hurt. He took the kids to school and before leaving, instructed me to take off my clothes and post this blog explaining what was going to happen. He told me that when he gets home, he will put me in the corner so that I can solely focus on the reason I am getting punished. Then I will bend over the side of the bed and he will stand behind me and spank me with the strap. It always hurts more when he stands instead of sits because it has a greater sting. That is for my attitude. Then he will bend me over the dresser and whip me with the cane, for my cursing. Next, I will go over his knee for a paddling with the wooden ping pong paddle. And then he'll finish up with a handspanking over his knee.
So here I sit, my bare bottom exposed and waiting for his correction upon it.
For the past six or seven months I've really only gotten maintenance spankings with the exception of two instances when I earned a punishment and he gave me a walloping. The first was when I had had too much to drink and I got mouthy with him and with his brother and his wife. We disagreed on some issues that I won't go into here but my hubby wasn't happy with the way I handled myself at dinner. He warned me twice by giving me a look and touching his belt buckle, which is the sign that I am treading on thin ice, but I didn't care. I had drank too much and I was hell bent on saying my piece. He excused us to the bathroom, bent me over the sink and whipped my bare bottom until I was red, sore and apologizing.
The second instance was when I spent too much money on the credit card, which is now a new item added to my list. I knew I had gone overboard but I guess I was hoping he wouldn't notice. When the bill came, he called me to his office in the basement, showed me the charges and then informed me that after the kids were in bed I was going to be punished. That night he took me down to his office, locked the basement door so the kids couldn't come down, took off all of my clothes and had me stand in the corner for 3 minutes. The anticipation was killing me. He then bent me over the top of his desk, and gave me a whipping, first with his belt, then the wooden paddle and then the cane. I was crying when he sent me back to the corner for another 3 minutes to think about why I was being punished. After that, he put me over his knee and spanked me long and hard until I sobbed. I was crying more from the embarrassment of earning the punishment than from physical pain, though it does hurt when he paddles me.
Other than those two times, I've only received maintenance or reminder spankings, except for the one that's about to happen now. This punishment is coming because of a culmination of my attitude and my jealousy, which he doesn't tolerate, especially since he hasn't given me any reason to be jealous. I know I need to be disciplined and I know I will be better after it, but I still get anxious and fearful that it's going to hurt. He took the kids to school and before leaving, instructed me to take off my clothes and post this blog explaining what was going to happen. He told me that when he gets home, he will put me in the corner so that I can solely focus on the reason I am getting punished. Then I will bend over the side of the bed and he will stand behind me and spank me with the strap. It always hurts more when he stands instead of sits because it has a greater sting. That is for my attitude. Then he will bend me over the dresser and whip me with the cane, for my cursing. Next, I will go over his knee for a paddling with the wooden ping pong paddle. And then he'll finish up with a handspanking over his knee.So here I sit, my bare bottom exposed and waiting for his correction upon it.
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Quiet Spankings When Kids Are Home
One of the questions we are ask most often is how can couples administer discipline when there are children in the home? This makes things challenging for sure, but it can be done. It takes a huge commitment to obedience and follow-thru.
Here are some pointers:
1. Invest in a silent tool like a Loopy Johnny or a plastic hanger will work.
2. Get a mindset that spankings will be quick and quiet and that any type of sexual gratifications will most likely be delayed until later.
3. Come up with a code that the children do not recognize, but that tells your partner to go to the designated room and prepare for a spanking. (If our children are home my husband touches the front of his belt buckle and I know that I need to go prepare.)
4. The bathroom is a good place to administer discipline because you can turn on the shower or the fan to mask sound.
5. Administer quick swats with a silent tool and then follow it with corner time. If the message hasn't gotten through, administer another set of swats followed by more corner time.
6. The moment an infraction is made issue discipline immediately. This is crucial to the success of the dominant/submissive, loving relationship. If you do not hold your partner accountable immediately they will begin to dis-respect your authority and they will begin to feel unloved and unnoticed.
7. Don't make the mistake of taking it easy or being overly gentle during discipline. If a rule was broken, punishment is earned. It's that simple. You are not being mean by giving your partner the discipline they deserve. In fact, if you intentionally don't give a harsh spanking that has been earned, you are causing more damage than good.
8. If you are new to DD or if you have taken a long break from it for whatever reasons, start over with a training period/boot camp. That means each morning begin the day with a maintenance or reminder paddling and naked corner time. Again, the bathroom is the ideal place for this. Get up before the kids are awake, have your partner strip naked, bend her over the sink or the tub or your lap and issue a sound spanking with a quiet tool. Send her immediately to the corner so that she can process your authority and her decision to submit to it. This is very important to start her day off with the right mindset. Likewise, before bed, after the kids are asleep, give her another maintenance spanking or address issues where she may have wavered in attitude or action during the day. The goal is that every time she sits down she is reminded of your love and the safety of your authority.
These steps will help you but you've got to commit to doing them. No arguing and no begging. We have a rule in our home, if I argue or beg, it's 50 swats with his belt on top of whatever discipline I have already earned.
Here are some pointers:
1. Invest in a silent tool like a Loopy Johnny or a plastic hanger will work.
2. Get a mindset that spankings will be quick and quiet and that any type of sexual gratifications will most likely be delayed until later.
3. Come up with a code that the children do not recognize, but that tells your partner to go to the designated room and prepare for a spanking. (If our children are home my husband touches the front of his belt buckle and I know that I need to go prepare.)
4. The bathroom is a good place to administer discipline because you can turn on the shower or the fan to mask sound.
5. Administer quick swats with a silent tool and then follow it with corner time. If the message hasn't gotten through, administer another set of swats followed by more corner time.
6. The moment an infraction is made issue discipline immediately. This is crucial to the success of the dominant/submissive, loving relationship. If you do not hold your partner accountable immediately they will begin to dis-respect your authority and they will begin to feel unloved and unnoticed.
7. Don't make the mistake of taking it easy or being overly gentle during discipline. If a rule was broken, punishment is earned. It's that simple. You are not being mean by giving your partner the discipline they deserve. In fact, if you intentionally don't give a harsh spanking that has been earned, you are causing more damage than good.
8. If you are new to DD or if you have taken a long break from it for whatever reasons, start over with a training period/boot camp. That means each morning begin the day with a maintenance or reminder paddling and naked corner time. Again, the bathroom is the ideal place for this. Get up before the kids are awake, have your partner strip naked, bend her over the sink or the tub or your lap and issue a sound spanking with a quiet tool. Send her immediately to the corner so that she can process your authority and her decision to submit to it. This is very important to start her day off with the right mindset. Likewise, before bed, after the kids are asleep, give her another maintenance spanking or address issues where she may have wavered in attitude or action during the day. The goal is that every time she sits down she is reminded of your love and the safety of your authority.
These steps will help you but you've got to commit to doing them. No arguing and no begging. We have a rule in our home, if I argue or beg, it's 50 swats with his belt on top of whatever discipline I have already earned.Thursday, May 5, 2016
A Bare Red Bottom
When I'm about to get a spanking for something I know I have done wrong, I feel knotted inside. When he makes me stand in the corner before the spanking, I can't help but replay the infraction over and over in my brain. That time, though only a few minutes, helps prepare me to have a submissive attitude so that when he bends me over, I am ready to accept the spanking.
His authority is arousing even though the spanking hurts. He paddles me hard and fast usually and it stings. If he's giving me an all around discipline session, he will use multiple tools and then my butt gets really red and sore. But, his message gets driven home.
Nothing proves as a better reminder than a bare, red bottom.
His authority is arousing even though the spanking hurts. He paddles me hard and fast usually and it stings. If he's giving me an all around discipline session, he will use multiple tools and then my butt gets really red and sore. But, his message gets driven home.
Nothing proves as a better reminder than a bare, red bottom.
Why We Do DD
I don't have a lot of time to blog anymore but I do still keep a journal of our DD journey. Someday I'll enter all of my journal entries into this blog. The DD lifestyle is a journey indeed and we learn what works and what doesn't work as we try new things. The past couple of months we've tried many things that haven't worked. I'm going to post specifically about those later in the week, but today I want to tell you about why this lifestyle works for us. Lots of people question it and even judge us for it. Many people have said that it is abusive and that's what I want to clarify the most. The DD lifestyle is not abusive at all. In fact, it's the opposite of abuse. It's pure, strong, unconditional love.
My husband has never hurt me, and by hurt I mean intentionally hit me or abused me in a way that was purposefully done to inflict harm. He doesn't scream at me nor strike me. He doesn't embarrass me in front of our family, friends or public places. He respects me for who I am and loves me deeply and tenderly. That's why this lifestyle works for us.
I want to be the best woman I can be. I want to be a good person, a good mother and a good wife. I want to be honest and non-judgmental and I never want to be lazy. I want to be healthy for myself and for our family and I don't want to say or do things that will hurt myself or my kids or my husband. By the same token, my husband wants to be the best man he can be. He strives to be a protector and provider for us and to be an attentive father and husband. He is gentle, affectionate and strong. There is a natural balance in our marriage and it works well for us.
When things get out of balance, we argue and fight or sometimes begin to grow apart. Like any marriage we have hit rough patches along the way. Most, not all but most, of the rough patches were caused by me. I carried a lot of guilt over this fact. So, when I learned about the DD lifestyle, I brought the idea to my husband and asked him if we could try it. I asked him to hold me accountable and to discipline me when necessary.
He was hesitant to comply at first but we began the journey together and it has only brought us closer.
I gave him a list of things I wanted to improve on and we discussed the list. These things weren't HIS rules imposed on me. They were my ideas and I brought them to him to help hold me accountable.
For example: Over-spending. I know that overspending puts stress on our family and I don't want to do that. I can be an impulse shopper and I want a deterrent from impulse buying. So, we decided on a budget and if I go over that budget, he will hold me accountable to it. This usually means I am draped over his knee for a solid paddling and then into the corner naked to think about it and then bent over for a belt whipping to drive the point home. I know when I overspend that I will be punished hard and I also know that I deserve that punishment.
Some people think this is cruel, but that's because they don't see the compassion and the love that goes into it. I don't get beaten if I go a cent over budget. If there are times I have to exceed the budget I call him and tell him why and then I am not punished. It has taught me the value of money and the need to be selective in what I purchase and not be frivolous with our income. When I blatantly ignore the budget is when I am held accountable and disciplined.
Spanking me is not abusing me. Spanking me is protecting me and our marriage and our family from behaviors that can negatively affect us. By taking me over his knee, he is assuring me that he will not let me, my mistakes or anything destroy us.
Sometimes it is hard to face the fact that I need to be disciplined. When he puts my legs in the air and spanks me while looking me in the eyes and addressing why I am being punished, I feel embarrassed and ashamed. But I know it is needed so that I will change my behavior.
The same hands that spank me are the ones that hold me and touch me and love me and it is an amazing bond. I trust him with all of me and I know that he would never jeopardize us or our family on a whim. Incorporating the DD lifestyle into our lives has saved our marriage and brought us closer than I ever thought we would be. He is my very best friend.
My husband has never hurt me, and by hurt I mean intentionally hit me or abused me in a way that was purposefully done to inflict harm. He doesn't scream at me nor strike me. He doesn't embarrass me in front of our family, friends or public places. He respects me for who I am and loves me deeply and tenderly. That's why this lifestyle works for us.
I want to be the best woman I can be. I want to be a good person, a good mother and a good wife. I want to be honest and non-judgmental and I never want to be lazy. I want to be healthy for myself and for our family and I don't want to say or do things that will hurt myself or my kids or my husband. By the same token, my husband wants to be the best man he can be. He strives to be a protector and provider for us and to be an attentive father and husband. He is gentle, affectionate and strong. There is a natural balance in our marriage and it works well for us.
When things get out of balance, we argue and fight or sometimes begin to grow apart. Like any marriage we have hit rough patches along the way. Most, not all but most, of the rough patches were caused by me. I carried a lot of guilt over this fact. So, when I learned about the DD lifestyle, I brought the idea to my husband and asked him if we could try it. I asked him to hold me accountable and to discipline me when necessary.
He was hesitant to comply at first but we began the journey together and it has only brought us closer.
I gave him a list of things I wanted to improve on and we discussed the list. These things weren't HIS rules imposed on me. They were my ideas and I brought them to him to help hold me accountable.
For example: Over-spending. I know that overspending puts stress on our family and I don't want to do that. I can be an impulse shopper and I want a deterrent from impulse buying. So, we decided on a budget and if I go over that budget, he will hold me accountable to it. This usually means I am draped over his knee for a solid paddling and then into the corner naked to think about it and then bent over for a belt whipping to drive the point home. I know when I overspend that I will be punished hard and I also know that I deserve that punishment.
Some people think this is cruel, but that's because they don't see the compassion and the love that goes into it. I don't get beaten if I go a cent over budget. If there are times I have to exceed the budget I call him and tell him why and then I am not punished. It has taught me the value of money and the need to be selective in what I purchase and not be frivolous with our income. When I blatantly ignore the budget is when I am held accountable and disciplined.
Spanking me is not abusing me. Spanking me is protecting me and our marriage and our family from behaviors that can negatively affect us. By taking me over his knee, he is assuring me that he will not let me, my mistakes or anything destroy us.
Sometimes it is hard to face the fact that I need to be disciplined. When he puts my legs in the air and spanks me while looking me in the eyes and addressing why I am being punished, I feel embarrassed and ashamed. But I know it is needed so that I will change my behavior.
The same hands that spank me are the ones that hold me and touch me and love me and it is an amazing bond. I trust him with all of me and I know that he would never jeopardize us or our family on a whim. Incorporating the DD lifestyle into our lives has saved our marriage and brought us closer than I ever thought we would be. He is my very best friend.
Friday, February 26, 2016
My Infraction List - About to Get a BIG ONE
I'm sitting here with my panties off, waiting for a spanking that I know will be a long and painful one. I also know I've earned it.
Part of my discipline is to write down all of the reasons why I need to be disciplined and today he asked me to write those reasons into my blog. So here goes:
1. My language has been foul even in front of other people and I know that is forbidden. I know I have the power to choose my own words and when I drop the F word it is a choice I am making and that choice comes with consequences. My bottom is going to pay the price this morning.
2. I haven't been good at exercising and I've asked him to help me stay on track. When I get lazy with my body I know I have earned a solid lashing to remind me to take care of myself.
3. I have had a very negative attitude recently and I know I am due for an attitude adjustment in the form of a paddling.
4. I've been disrespectful and even hurtful to my husband and I don't want to treat him that way. I know that going over his knee will remind me that he is on my side and he deserves my respect.
5. Jealousy. There's this woman at his work that likes to flirt with him. It's harmless and I know he won't do anything but it bothers me and sometimes I let my mind run away with me. This week I accused him of flirting with her, which he didn't really do.
The waiting is the worst part. He'll come in with that look on his face and we'll talk about all of these things. It's hard to look him in the eyes and discuss the fact that I'm going to receive a spanking. Even after all of this time I get embarrassed and humiliated, but I know that I am better when he disciplines me. I feel better. I get a sense of release and a calmness and I feel his love when he takes action. I know it isn't always easy on him to punish me, but he does it anyway because he knows it makes me and us better and for that I adore him.
I've just been told to sign off and bend over the bed with my bare bottom exposed and think about my forthcoming punishment, so I have to go.
Part of my discipline is to write down all of the reasons why I need to be disciplined and today he asked me to write those reasons into my blog. So here goes:
1. My language has been foul even in front of other people and I know that is forbidden. I know I have the power to choose my own words and when I drop the F word it is a choice I am making and that choice comes with consequences. My bottom is going to pay the price this morning.
2. I haven't been good at exercising and I've asked him to help me stay on track. When I get lazy with my body I know I have earned a solid lashing to remind me to take care of myself.
3. I have had a very negative attitude recently and I know I am due for an attitude adjustment in the form of a paddling.
4. I've been disrespectful and even hurtful to my husband and I don't want to treat him that way. I know that going over his knee will remind me that he is on my side and he deserves my respect.
5. Jealousy. There's this woman at his work that likes to flirt with him. It's harmless and I know he won't do anything but it bothers me and sometimes I let my mind run away with me. This week I accused him of flirting with her, which he didn't really do.
The waiting is the worst part. He'll come in with that look on his face and we'll talk about all of these things. It's hard to look him in the eyes and discuss the fact that I'm going to receive a spanking. Even after all of this time I get embarrassed and humiliated, but I know that I am better when he disciplines me. I feel better. I get a sense of release and a calmness and I feel his love when he takes action. I know it isn't always easy on him to punish me, but he does it anyway because he knows it makes me and us better and for that I adore him.
I've just been told to sign off and bend over the bed with my bare bottom exposed and think about my forthcoming punishment, so I have to go.
Thursday, January 7, 2016
Top Ten Tips to Make Your New Year a Spanking Success
Happy New Year DD friends!
We hope the new year will bring you resolutions of good
behavior and when the behavior slips, we hope you will have good discipline in
tact to provide stability in your home.
May you have more maintenance and less punishment spankings this year.
We decided to start 2016 off with some important information
about how to bring balance and keep balance in your home.
Follow these steps and we guarantee you will find harmony in
your relationship:
1. 1. Sit down
with your partner and write in a maintenance spanking schedule on your
calendar. If it is in writing it will be
that much easier to stick to. **This is
especially important for couples who spend a lot of time apart due to their
careers. Choose the date and time and
then stick to it.
2. 2. Re-evaluate your improvement list and add to it
any new resolutions you have made.
3. 3. Assign a punishment value to every item on the
list. **We have found that this is
highly effective in deterring mis-behavior.
i.e. if she knows that ignoring her exercise plan will result in a
consistent outpouring of 50 lashes with the cane, she will be more prone to
make the choice to do the exercise.
4. 4. Also assign a position to the list. Your list might look something like this:
Cursing - 25 swats with belt for each curse
word - OTK
Attitude - 50 swats with the hairbrush for
each occurrence - Bent over bed
Exercise - 50 caning swats -
Standing with fingers locked behind head
Maintenance - 10 minute hand spanking - OTK
Over-spending -
Lying -
Adultery -
And so on and so forth. The new year is the time to assign new values
and new positions and then commit yourself to stick to them.
5. 5. Corner time is a MUST and you need to re-commit
to enforcing it. **Some women are
opposed to corner time because they feel it is humiliating so derive an
alternative. A very effective
alternative is to have her lie naked over the edge of the bed with her bottom
exposed and write down why she is about to be punished and how she can avoid punishment
in the future. This is less humiliating for the woman and it allows her to
visually process her behavior as she writes it down. It also gives the husband something to review
with her before he begins the discipline session.
6. 6. Get rid of the excuses! **The biggest excuse we hear is that couples
are rarely alone to execute punishment when needed. This is fixable with a commitment from both
parties. If there are people in your
home when punishment is earned, then leave your home. Drive to a vacant parking lot, a vacant road,
climb into the backseat and provide the discipline that is needed. Don’t allow yourself to make excuses. **If children are in the home, pretend to
take a shower, turn on the water, the bathroom fan, lock the doors, provide a
pillow for the partner being punished to cry into and use a silent tool. It CAN be done and it MUST be done!
7. 7. Guilt-Release Session **We are learning more and more that women
carry more guilt than men. With regards
to day-to-day issues men are able to release guilt faster and easier than women. So, gents, it is your responsibility to help
bring your wife or partner relief from the guilt she is experiencing and there’s
no better time than the new year to start things off right!
WHAT A GUILT-RELEASE SESSION LOOKS LIKE
a.
The wife
writes down a list of all of the things she feels guilty about. This list might be day-to-day things, people
she’s let down, mistakes she’s made in the past or present, etc. Every woman is different and her list will be
unique to her life experiences.
b.
Sit down together and read the list. This is not a time for judgment or a time to
argue that she should or should not feel the way she feels. If an item is on the list, she is feeling
guilty about it, and thusly it must be addressed in order for her to feel
relief. **Many women will cry just in
sharing the list because they have a great amount of shame or humiliation
attached to the issues they have written down.
This is normal and not an indication that they do not want to
follow-through with the session.
c.
Depending on the length of the list, it may need
to be broken down into more than one session.
This is permissible, but try to keep the sessions all in the same
day. i.e. one in the morning, one in the
afternoon, one in the evening.
d.
Assign a punishment value to each item and write
those next to the item.
e.
During the session, eye-contact is extremely
important for two reasons: 1) Looking
you in the eyes as you discuss the item makes her take full ownership in
it. 2) Looking you in the eyes allows
her to see your forgiveness and your unconditional love for her. It makes her feel secure that even in her
worse offense, you will not allow her to destroy the relationship. Your strength
will bring your relationship back to a place of balance.
f.
Address each item verbally first and then
administer the punishment. **Sometimes
an item prompts questions like, “what were you thinking?” or “why would you do
that?” This is okay. Husbands will often encounter an item on her
list that arises feelings of anger in them and that is acceptable. Putting her over your knee is a means of
cleansing both of you, acknowledging the anger she has made you feel and
punishing her for the behavior, ultimately restoring balance in the relationship.
8. 8. She must be naked during a discipline
session. **Couples try to squirm around
this one but it is crucial to the success of DD. Her nakedness is a symbol of her submission
to you and of stripping down all exterior factors that stand between you.
9. 9. Immediate Punishment is of the utmost important
because it is what builds her trust in your ability to lead the home. **Men, you must prove to her that your word
is true and thusly you must do what you say you are going to do. The more she trusts your follow-through, the
quicker she will learn to submit to you and the more peaceful your relationship
will be.
1 10. Alone time after a punishment session is needed
for at least 3-5 minutes for her to process her behavior and your strength in
correcting her. After the time has
lapsed, come back to her and then be affectionate. **We are learning more and more that
immediate sexual gratification is inhibiting the dominant-submissive
connection, but adding in affection after a short time of reflection
strengthens the connection.
That’s it!
Your top ten new year’s resolutions to start the year off aces!
This message was sent to our newsletter patrons as well but we thought it was helpful and wanted to share with everyone! Happy New Year!
P.S. Now, I'm off to get a spanking for being 6 days late at getting the newsletter out. He asked me three times to get it down and I kept procrastinating. I am sorry for my delay and I know in about 15 minutes I'm going to be a whole lot sorrier. He's already laid his belt across the chair and my stomach is trembling with anticipation. This will be my first punishment spanking of 2016 and I'm certain he's going to make it leave a lasting impression.
Thursday, November 5, 2015
Never Hide a Credit Card Bill
My husband came home today and I knew right away that he was upset. I had spent a lot of money, more than I should have and I usually give him a head's up but I purposefully didn't. Instead, I waited the couple weeks for the next bill to come. It had come in the mail this morning, so I wasn't surprised when he approached me in the kitchen with it in his hand.
I said I was sorry and he said that it was nice to hear but that I wasn't nearly as sorry as I was about to be. Then he unbuckled his belt and slid the leather through the loops, winding it around his right hand.
"Take down your pants and bend over the counter," he said.
My stomach got that hollow feeling and I started to speak but he said, "Heather, you spent too much and then you tried to hide it from me. Now, take down your pants and bend over the counter."
I knew he was right. I was busted but I so didn't want a spanking. I stood frozen, with my fingers on the button of my jeans.
"For every second you wait, I'm adding 20 swats," he said.
I got undressed more quickly and bend over the counter so my butt was exposed. I gripped the top of the counter and waited for the first stinging swat.
It came quickly and he lectured me as he issued 65 swats across my bare butt.
"Corner," he said and pointed. He then told me to take off my blouse and bra and stand there naked.
I stood there for almost 5 minutes and then he told me to bend over his knees on the couch. I was already crying when I crawled across his lap for a hard, hard hand-spanking that left me sobbing and repenting.
I promised I would never hide a bill from him again. And I won't. I'll think about this spanking before I even use my credit card again!
I said I was sorry and he said that it was nice to hear but that I wasn't nearly as sorry as I was about to be. Then he unbuckled his belt and slid the leather through the loops, winding it around his right hand.
"Take down your pants and bend over the counter," he said.
My stomach got that hollow feeling and I started to speak but he said, "Heather, you spent too much and then you tried to hide it from me. Now, take down your pants and bend over the counter."
I knew he was right. I was busted but I so didn't want a spanking. I stood frozen, with my fingers on the button of my jeans.
"For every second you wait, I'm adding 20 swats," he said.
I got undressed more quickly and bend over the counter so my butt was exposed. I gripped the top of the counter and waited for the first stinging swat.
It came quickly and he lectured me as he issued 65 swats across my bare butt.
"Corner," he said and pointed. He then told me to take off my blouse and bra and stand there naked.
I stood there for almost 5 minutes and then he told me to bend over his knees on the couch. I was already crying when I crawled across his lap for a hard, hard hand-spanking that left me sobbing and repenting.
I promised I would never hide a bill from him again. And I won't. I'll think about this spanking before I even use my credit card again!
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Another Spanking Site
I wanted to share another great discipline site with you. I don't know the owner of the site personally, but they seem to have a fine handle on the art of discipline. I particularly related to the article about the plastic hanger because I've had a plastic hanger across my bottom on more than one occasion. In fact, my hubbie travels with one in his suitcase just in case he needs to pull me aside and give me a sound, but quiet whipping.
Here's the link: http://ispankmywife.blogspot.com/2012/03/quite-and-effective-spanking.html
Enjoy!
Here's the link: http://ispankmywife.blogspot.com/2012/03/quite-and-effective-spanking.html
Enjoy!
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Waiting
I'm waiting for a spanking and I know he'll be in here any minute. The waiting is the worst. I know what's coming and I know I've earned it but I still get nervous. We skipped the normal maintenance spanking this morning because we were pressed for time. It showed in my attitude, which he commented on when he pointed to our bedroom with a stern look. It was the look that said, "go pull down your pants and wait." So, here I sit with my bare bottom tensed against my chair, writing about what is about to come. I imagine I'll get the belt and a hand spanking. He usually warms me up with his hand first. My stomach is fluttery with nerves.
I hear him coming this way now.
I hear him coming this way now.
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Cleansing Workshop - MUST DO!
This summer my husband and I began a cleansing, which we have read and heard is essential at creating a solid marital bond and in growing and moving forward in the dominant/submissive relationship. It was a phenomenal experience and I want to encourage all of you to do this. It's painful both outwardly and inwardly but it has brought us so much closer together. It is worth the work.
Submission is an act of letting go and trusting that the other person knows what is best and what is needed. It is an act of confessing to the need to be disciplined and allowing it to occur. It's hard but often times a woman can't submit because there are old things, past things, blocking her. Often times these are subconscious but sometimes they are things that have a great deal of power over the female psyche. For example, a past sin can keep a woman from presently submitting because subconsciously she feels she doesn't deserve to receive a clean slate for her actions. These past things must be addressed for her to move forward.
They can be as simple as telling a little white lie, to having a full blown affair. No matter how complicated the sinful past, the husband must address it, punish her for it, and then help her move on from it.
In a submission workshop I attended, we learned about a woman that had had sexual feelings for one of her husband's coworkers and she felt guilty even though it had been years ago and she never acted on those feelings. The workshop leaders, an established DD couple, explained how this woman was being held back by her feelings of guilt and not allowing herself to embrace submission or a clean slate from her husband. They recommended a cleansing program, wherein she confessed her indiscretion and guilt to her husband and he punished her and then offered her forgiveness. The woman gave a testimonial that it was so freeing that it changed their relationship for the better and now she submits to him without hesitation.
Others had bigger sins in their pasts, but the formula for revival was the same. That's what I want to share with you. My husband and I did this over the summer and we are in a much better place. It works and I don't think a DD relationship can move forward without it.
Step 1: Sit down together and talk about this. If she is having trouble submitting, discuss whether or not this could be the problem; especially if there have been indiscretions in the past.
Step 2: She must be willing to ask you to punish her for her past sins.
Step 3: She must be willing to write down those sins and to work through them one by one.
Example: On day one, you deal with the first issue on the list. On day two, the second issue and so forth.
Step 4: An agreed upon punishment must be laid out AHEAD OF TIME. For example: For lying, it is one spanking with one implement. The severity of the spanking depends upon the severity of the lie.
For an affair, it is a full two days of punishment, involving 3-5 spankings each day with several implements and corner time necessary for her to think about what she has done, her punishment and the offering of forgiveness and acceptance.
Step 5: The agreement is put into writing. "I, Sally, am asking, John, to help me overcome my past mistakes and teach me submission by confessing my indiscretion of sleeping with your coworker, admitting it was wrong and shameful, and asking you to punish me so that I can forgive myself and accept your forgiveness and be cleansed. I agree to a two day punishment of 6-10 spankings, corner time and anything you feel necessary to help me learn submission."
Step 6: Follow through is essential and must be done. The punishment sessions must be hard and long and more intense than anything you have experienced together. If she is not sobbing beneath your whipping, you have failed her. Part of the cleansing comes with the tears.
Step 7: Punishment sessions must be done naked.
Step 8: Punishment sessions must be consecutive days.
You will see a new life in yourself and your wife if you do this. I guarantee it. She may not know she needs this from you, but she desperately needs it and she will thank you for it when it is all over. You will have proven you are stronger than any of her sins and that your love for her is dominant over all other factors in this world. When she sees this and feels it on her bottom and believes it in her heart, submission will come easily.
Start this today!!!
Submission is an act of letting go and trusting that the other person knows what is best and what is needed. It is an act of confessing to the need to be disciplined and allowing it to occur. It's hard but often times a woman can't submit because there are old things, past things, blocking her. Often times these are subconscious but sometimes they are things that have a great deal of power over the female psyche. For example, a past sin can keep a woman from presently submitting because subconsciously she feels she doesn't deserve to receive a clean slate for her actions. These past things must be addressed for her to move forward.
They can be as simple as telling a little white lie, to having a full blown affair. No matter how complicated the sinful past, the husband must address it, punish her for it, and then help her move on from it.
In a submission workshop I attended, we learned about a woman that had had sexual feelings for one of her husband's coworkers and she felt guilty even though it had been years ago and she never acted on those feelings. The workshop leaders, an established DD couple, explained how this woman was being held back by her feelings of guilt and not allowing herself to embrace submission or a clean slate from her husband. They recommended a cleansing program, wherein she confessed her indiscretion and guilt to her husband and he punished her and then offered her forgiveness. The woman gave a testimonial that it was so freeing that it changed their relationship for the better and now she submits to him without hesitation.
Others had bigger sins in their pasts, but the formula for revival was the same. That's what I want to share with you. My husband and I did this over the summer and we are in a much better place. It works and I don't think a DD relationship can move forward without it.
Step 1: Sit down together and talk about this. If she is having trouble submitting, discuss whether or not this could be the problem; especially if there have been indiscretions in the past.
Step 2: She must be willing to ask you to punish her for her past sins.
Step 3: She must be willing to write down those sins and to work through them one by one.
Example: On day one, you deal with the first issue on the list. On day two, the second issue and so forth.
Step 4: An agreed upon punishment must be laid out AHEAD OF TIME. For example: For lying, it is one spanking with one implement. The severity of the spanking depends upon the severity of the lie.
For an affair, it is a full two days of punishment, involving 3-5 spankings each day with several implements and corner time necessary for her to think about what she has done, her punishment and the offering of forgiveness and acceptance.
Step 5: The agreement is put into writing. "I, Sally, am asking, John, to help me overcome my past mistakes and teach me submission by confessing my indiscretion of sleeping with your coworker, admitting it was wrong and shameful, and asking you to punish me so that I can forgive myself and accept your forgiveness and be cleansed. I agree to a two day punishment of 6-10 spankings, corner time and anything you feel necessary to help me learn submission."
Step 6: Follow through is essential and must be done. The punishment sessions must be hard and long and more intense than anything you have experienced together. If she is not sobbing beneath your whipping, you have failed her. Part of the cleansing comes with the tears.
Step 7: Punishment sessions must be done naked.
Step 8: Punishment sessions must be consecutive days.
You will see a new life in yourself and your wife if you do this. I guarantee it. She may not know she needs this from you, but she desperately needs it and she will thank you for it when it is all over. You will have proven you are stronger than any of her sins and that your love for her is dominant over all other factors in this world. When she sees this and feels it on her bottom and believes it in her heart, submission will come easily.
Start this today!!!
Attitude Adjustment OUCH
I'm sitting at my computer with a very red bottom and I'll tell you why. I've been in a mood lately and my husband finally had enough. This morning I was in the kitchen and he looked at me and without saying a word, he took me by the hand, led me into the downstairs guest room and instructed me to bend over the side of the chair. When I asked why, he told me I could think about that while he spanked my bottom. I didn't really need to think about it, I knew exactly why I was getting a spanking and I knew it was deserved.
He pulled my panties down and raised my nightshirt up so my butt was completely exposed. Then he pulled out a wooden spoon he had taken from the kitchen and paddled me hard. It stung and I cried out but that only made him paddle faster and harder. When he stopped I could feel my butt stinging.
"Are you sorry?" He asked.
"Yes," I cried.
"Not as sorry as you're about to be," he said and then gave me twenty-five more fast, hard smacks with the spoon.
"Go stand in the corner," he said and I got up and went there. I could hear him leave the room and come back carrying his discipline tools. Right then I knew I was in for a beating. "Lay on your back on the bed and put your legs into the air," he said. "I want you to look me in the eyes while we address this issue."
I hate that and he knows it. I cry everytime he does it because it's humiliating to have to look at him while he punishes me, especially when I know I deserve what I'm getting. Still, having to look him in the face while he paddles my bottom is embarrassing.
I laid down and he took the wooden paddle and gave me a smack. When I closed my eyes he ordered me to look at him. "What did you do to deserve this?"
"I talked myself down," I answered because I knew what the paddle was for.
He paddled me several times with his eyes locked on mine. He reminded me that I'm beautiful and should treat myself better. He said that he will not hesitate to punish me every time I say something negative about myself. Fifty swats in total and I was balling.
After that, he sent me back to the corner and instructed me to place my hands on my thighs, but not to touch myself. I was super wet and on the verge of cumming already and holding my hands so close to myself made me want to touch myself that much more. He knew it and this was a lesson in submission and obedience.
"Please?" I said and inched my index finger over toward my pussy.
His answer was a swift swat on my ass with his hand. "I said no," he told me and he let me suffer there for over a minute, until I felt like I was going to explode.
Then he moved me to the bed and bent me over his knee where he gave me a hard hand spanking. He reached his hand from behind and fingered me until I came, which didn't take but a few seconds. Once I came, he slid me from his lap to the side of the bed and took his belt and whipped me for my attitude, which had been really terrible the past few days. The whipping stung bad and I finally broke down and cried. He knows that once I orgasm, the punishment is taken much more seriously. The sexual tension is gone and the discipline is driven home. He whipped me over sixty lashes, that was when I lost count anyway.
When he was done, he held me and I immediately slid to my knees and gave him a blow job. I don't know what it is about his authority but it makes me want to please him in ways I can't even explain.
After he came and we cleaned up, he held me for a few moments and then told me it was time for us to go back to boot camp. That's where I get a spanking one to three times every day for 5 consecutive days. I started to cry because my bottom was so sore and I didn't want to go through boot camp. but I know that it works and that I am a better person when he holds me accountable. I need him to discipline me when I can't hold myself in check. I respect him for having the strength of character to know when I need it and to be able to teach me submission. So, I am sore but in a much better place emotionally and mentally.
He pulled my panties down and raised my nightshirt up so my butt was completely exposed. Then he pulled out a wooden spoon he had taken from the kitchen and paddled me hard. It stung and I cried out but that only made him paddle faster and harder. When he stopped I could feel my butt stinging.
"Are you sorry?" He asked.
"Yes," I cried.
"Not as sorry as you're about to be," he said and then gave me twenty-five more fast, hard smacks with the spoon.
"Go stand in the corner," he said and I got up and went there. I could hear him leave the room and come back carrying his discipline tools. Right then I knew I was in for a beating. "Lay on your back on the bed and put your legs into the air," he said. "I want you to look me in the eyes while we address this issue."
I hate that and he knows it. I cry everytime he does it because it's humiliating to have to look at him while he punishes me, especially when I know I deserve what I'm getting. Still, having to look him in the face while he paddles my bottom is embarrassing.
I laid down and he took the wooden paddle and gave me a smack. When I closed my eyes he ordered me to look at him. "What did you do to deserve this?"
"I talked myself down," I answered because I knew what the paddle was for.
He paddled me several times with his eyes locked on mine. He reminded me that I'm beautiful and should treat myself better. He said that he will not hesitate to punish me every time I say something negative about myself. Fifty swats in total and I was balling.
After that, he sent me back to the corner and instructed me to place my hands on my thighs, but not to touch myself. I was super wet and on the verge of cumming already and holding my hands so close to myself made me want to touch myself that much more. He knew it and this was a lesson in submission and obedience.
"Please?" I said and inched my index finger over toward my pussy.
His answer was a swift swat on my ass with his hand. "I said no," he told me and he let me suffer there for over a minute, until I felt like I was going to explode.
Then he moved me to the bed and bent me over his knee where he gave me a hard hand spanking. He reached his hand from behind and fingered me until I came, which didn't take but a few seconds. Once I came, he slid me from his lap to the side of the bed and took his belt and whipped me for my attitude, which had been really terrible the past few days. The whipping stung bad and I finally broke down and cried. He knows that once I orgasm, the punishment is taken much more seriously. The sexual tension is gone and the discipline is driven home. He whipped me over sixty lashes, that was when I lost count anyway.
When he was done, he held me and I immediately slid to my knees and gave him a blow job. I don't know what it is about his authority but it makes me want to please him in ways I can't even explain.
After he came and we cleaned up, he held me for a few moments and then told me it was time for us to go back to boot camp. That's where I get a spanking one to three times every day for 5 consecutive days. I started to cry because my bottom was so sore and I didn't want to go through boot camp. but I know that it works and that I am a better person when he holds me accountable. I need him to discipline me when I can't hold myself in check. I respect him for having the strength of character to know when I need it and to be able to teach me submission. So, I am sore but in a much better place emotionally and mentally.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Whip It Good
This was me today after a hard spanking. My sarcastic mouth got the best of me again and my hubby gave me quite the whipping with his belt. What's more is he told me I'm getting the second half of the punishment tonight before bed. My butt is still sore and I'm already dreading what's coming, even though I know I've earned it.
Friday, June 6, 2014
NOW!
It's been a while since I've had a chance to blog because I got a part time job and have been tired by the end of every day. My husband said I needed to get back at it so here I am. We've had many discipline sessions since I last blogged but it would take forever to tell you about them, so I'll just talk about the spanking I got today, since my bottom is still burning from it.
I had been a smart mouth most of the day and my husband finally had enough. I made a sarcastic remark and he put his arm around my waist and whispered in my ear. "Go pull down your pants now." I objected because our kids were home and two of our nephews were visiting so we had a houseful of kids, but he didn't care. He had had it with my attitude and my remarks. "NOW!" he whispered and gave my arm a deliberate squeeze.
I went into our bathroom, pulled down my pants and panties and bent over the side of the tub. I thought I knew what was going to happen, he'd take the silent took, a loopy johnny, give me 15-20 quiet slaps and I'd be on my way, but boy was I ever wrong. When he came into our bedroom, he locked the door and turned on the t.v. really loud. It was a soccer game. Then he came into the bathroom and locked that door behind him and turned on the shower and the fan. I knew right then that he was planning on using more then just the silent tool.
He pulled me from over the tub and led me to the corner. While I stood with my nose in the corner, he rubbed his hands over my bare ass and told me about the punishment I was going to get and why I was going to get it. He talked about my attitude and my comments and explained that he wasn't going to tolerate this type of disrespectful behavior. He ran his finger over my private part and stroked a few times while he explained that it was his job to keep me disciplined and on the right track and that he had been lax lately. He then led me back to the tub where he asked me to bend over and rest my hands against the edge, so my bottom was outward, facing him. He started with his belt and gave me 30 stinging slaps until I was crying and apologizing. Then he had me lay down on my back and put my legs in the air so he could make eye contact with me while he spanked me. He used the wooden paddle and gave me 20 swats, making me look him in the eye with every swat. This was humiliating. Looking at him while he punishes me is the worst because I can't hide the fact that I know I deserve what I'm getting. After that he took me back into the bathroom and bent me over the tub and gave me a hard lashing with the silent tool until I was sobbing.
"I want you to think about your attitude." He warned me and then he told me that no matter where we are or no matter if the kids are home, he will hold me accountable for my actions and my behavior. My butt is so sore but I never feel more loved then when he takes the time to discipline me.
I had been a smart mouth most of the day and my husband finally had enough. I made a sarcastic remark and he put his arm around my waist and whispered in my ear. "Go pull down your pants now." I objected because our kids were home and two of our nephews were visiting so we had a houseful of kids, but he didn't care. He had had it with my attitude and my remarks. "NOW!" he whispered and gave my arm a deliberate squeeze.
I went into our bathroom, pulled down my pants and panties and bent over the side of the tub. I thought I knew what was going to happen, he'd take the silent took, a loopy johnny, give me 15-20 quiet slaps and I'd be on my way, but boy was I ever wrong. When he came into our bedroom, he locked the door and turned on the t.v. really loud. It was a soccer game. Then he came into the bathroom and locked that door behind him and turned on the shower and the fan. I knew right then that he was planning on using more then just the silent tool.
He pulled me from over the tub and led me to the corner. While I stood with my nose in the corner, he rubbed his hands over my bare ass and told me about the punishment I was going to get and why I was going to get it. He talked about my attitude and my comments and explained that he wasn't going to tolerate this type of disrespectful behavior. He ran his finger over my private part and stroked a few times while he explained that it was his job to keep me disciplined and on the right track and that he had been lax lately. He then led me back to the tub where he asked me to bend over and rest my hands against the edge, so my bottom was outward, facing him. He started with his belt and gave me 30 stinging slaps until I was crying and apologizing. Then he had me lay down on my back and put my legs in the air so he could make eye contact with me while he spanked me. He used the wooden paddle and gave me 20 swats, making me look him in the eye with every swat. This was humiliating. Looking at him while he punishes me is the worst because I can't hide the fact that I know I deserve what I'm getting. After that he took me back into the bathroom and bent me over the tub and gave me a hard lashing with the silent tool until I was sobbing.
"I want you to think about your attitude." He warned me and then he told me that no matter where we are or no matter if the kids are home, he will hold me accountable for my actions and my behavior. My butt is so sore but I never feel more loved then when he takes the time to discipline me.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
A Hard Belting
Boy, did I get it for my attitude. He came into our room with his belt already in his hand and before I could say anything he told me lay over the side of the bed with my arms stretched out in front of me and my legs dangling off the side. He then placed a pillow beneath by pelvis to lift my bottom into the air a little more.
"Do you understand why you're about to get a whipping?" He asked.
"Yes sir," I said, hoping my better attitude of submission would make him go easier on me.
"Explain why," he said and rubbed his hand over my bottom to warm my cheeks.
"Because of my bad attitude," I said.
"And because your attitude is a sign of what?"
"Disrespect," I answered. "I'm sorry."
"Not as sorry as you're going to be when we're through here," he said and then drew his arm way back and let the belt slap down on my butt. It stung and I couldn't help but cry out.
"Thirty nine more to go," he said, "that is, if you don't squirm or try to block your ass."
I held still but by the fifth slap I was already in tears and apologizing. Half way through he had me roll over onto my back and place my legs in the air so I had to look him in the face during the rest of the spanking. That's when I cried the hardest. I could see love and anger in his eyes while he punished me and I knew without a doubt that I deserved the spanking I was getting.
After the forty lashes with his belt, he pulled me over his knee for a hard hand spanking and he talked to me during the hand spanking. He reminded me that he doesn't like to hurt me, but that he will hold me accountable and that he knows it is his job to teach me how to be submissive. He knows it wouldn't be fair to either one of us or to our marriage if he slacked off on his responsibilities as head of our home. I know he's right and I'm glad he's strong enough to hold me accountable. I hate being spanked for punishment but I know I need it. I'm better for it.
"Do you understand why you're about to get a whipping?" He asked.
"Yes sir," I said, hoping my better attitude of submission would make him go easier on me.
"Explain why," he said and rubbed his hand over my bottom to warm my cheeks.
"Because of my bad attitude," I said.
"And because your attitude is a sign of what?"
"Disrespect," I answered. "I'm sorry."
"Not as sorry as you're going to be when we're through here," he said and then drew his arm way back and let the belt slap down on my butt. It stung and I couldn't help but cry out.
"Thirty nine more to go," he said, "that is, if you don't squirm or try to block your ass."
I held still but by the fifth slap I was already in tears and apologizing. Half way through he had me roll over onto my back and place my legs in the air so I had to look him in the face during the rest of the spanking. That's when I cried the hardest. I could see love and anger in his eyes while he punished me and I knew without a doubt that I deserved the spanking I was getting.
After the forty lashes with his belt, he pulled me over his knee for a hard hand spanking and he talked to me during the hand spanking. He reminded me that he doesn't like to hurt me, but that he will hold me accountable and that he knows it is his job to teach me how to be submissive. He knows it wouldn't be fair to either one of us or to our marriage if he slacked off on his responsibilities as head of our home. I know he's right and I'm glad he's strong enough to hold me accountable. I hate being spanked for punishment but I know I need it. I'm better for it.
Here he Comes
I'm sitting here at my desk waiting for my hubby to come in and start my discipline session. I copped an attitude with him earlier while he was on a phone call and he gave me the look and pointed to the bedroom. I knew instantly what he meant. But just to be sure I did, he pressed mute on his call and holllered, "go bare your bottom right now and wait for me," and pointed to our room.
I'm nervous. He's been edgy all morning and I know he's angry at my attitude. I don't know why I act that way. I don't know why I get disrespectful. Do I want to be punished? Or some level deep down is it my way of getting his attention? I don't think it is, but I don't know. I don't want a punishment spanking because it hurts and I know he's probably going to use his belt and that hurts a lot.
Here he comes.
I'm nervous. He's been edgy all morning and I know he's angry at my attitude. I don't know why I act that way. I don't know why I get disrespectful. Do I want to be punished? Or some level deep down is it my way of getting his attention? I don't think it is, but I don't know. I don't want a punishment spanking because it hurts and I know he's probably going to use his belt and that hurts a lot.
Here he comes.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Face-to-Face
My hubbie just read my blog and wanted me to add something that I totally forgot about. This has been a HUGE HUGE influence in helping me get to tears during a spanking and feel genuinely remorseful and embrace submission.
As I mentioned, he always begins with an OTK hand spanking to warm my bottom up, but even before that, when he first brings me toward him, he talks to me, eye-to-eye, face to face about my behavior. This makes me focus on the fact that I am about to be punished because of MY own actions. It helps me realize that I control my behavior and he is merely holding me accountable. Sometimes, while he talks to me, he'll rub his hand over my bottom and other times he'll cup my pussy, not so much to arouse me but as an expression of his authority. A reminder that I'm his, that he'd rather provide pleasure but when discipline is warranted he will provide pain. The powerful thing about this is that I have to look him in the eyes and admit what I have done wrong. "You spent two hundred and fifty two dollars over your credit card limit, didn't you?" I nod, because I did. "And you knew you were over the limit when you spent it, didn't you?" I nod again. Guilty. "What do you deserve for this?" This is the part that's really hard for me, saying that I deserve to be given a hard spanking and sent to the corner. "I deserve to be punished."
"And what should that punishment be?" He sometimes asks me.
"A spanking."
Just having me say the words is humiliating. Looking my husband in the eyes and admitting that I need him to take me over his knee for a whipping is embarrassing and that's part of the process of submission.
So, men, enforce it because it will have a long-term positive effect on your wife.
As I mentioned, he always begins with an OTK hand spanking to warm my bottom up, but even before that, when he first brings me toward him, he talks to me, eye-to-eye, face to face about my behavior. This makes me focus on the fact that I am about to be punished because of MY own actions. It helps me realize that I control my behavior and he is merely holding me accountable. Sometimes, while he talks to me, he'll rub his hand over my bottom and other times he'll cup my pussy, not so much to arouse me but as an expression of his authority. A reminder that I'm his, that he'd rather provide pleasure but when discipline is warranted he will provide pain. The powerful thing about this is that I have to look him in the eyes and admit what I have done wrong. "You spent two hundred and fifty two dollars over your credit card limit, didn't you?" I nod, because I did. "And you knew you were over the limit when you spent it, didn't you?" I nod again. Guilty. "What do you deserve for this?" This is the part that's really hard for me, saying that I deserve to be given a hard spanking and sent to the corner. "I deserve to be punished."
"And what should that punishment be?" He sometimes asks me.
"A spanking."
Just having me say the words is humiliating. Looking my husband in the eyes and admitting that I need him to take me over his knee for a whipping is embarrassing and that's part of the process of submission.
So, men, enforce it because it will have a long-term positive effect on your wife.
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